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hello friends,
I have not posted for over two years, maybe 3. I joined the class of Nov. 2011. I lasted a week. who knows what sad excuse I used to give up back then. while I've not posted since then I've returned to this forum often on nights like this, tears in my eyes, wishing for strength. sometimes I wonder if its even there anymore. life has gotten so far away from me I've lost my own identity. rather than a big picture there is only a daily battle. get through the day to get home and have that drink, and then forget the day ever happened. like before, I function, I get by. what kills me is remembering that lapse of sobriety I had in my early 20s that lasted 2 years, remembering the zest for life, the enthusiasm, the positivity I exuded. the boundless energy. comparing that to the hollow shell I am now is painful. I've played the blame game, blamed everything but alcohol, but I can no longer fool myself. I have to find a way to stop. so I ask you all once again for your support. what did you do to replace alcohol in your nightly rituals. how did you wind down? how did you sleep? it's such a part of getting over the day. I don't know how to replace it. I get myself so worked up and convince myself that's the only way to unwind. I need advice please.

Hi Pipedreamer. I wasn't about in 2011, more than likely passed out on sofa after too much booze.

I've been stopped 14 months now, how? It's not magic.

A lot of hard work., resolve, determination, positive ness, it took me nearly rock bottom to gain this abilities, unfortunately.

Have you got the determination to want to live. Don't think of 'oh no, no alcohol never ever again' , say 'I do not want to drink, I want my life back and all the joys, and sorrows,(unfortunately everyone has them and apparently deals with them without booze) bestowed upon me to enjoy and embrace life, after all, up to now, this is all we've got, make the most of it.

Come join us, partake of this life saving forum with friends around the earth dealing with problems like yours, you are not alone, come on, give it a go and Live.

Welcome back. Hang in there; there is alot of hope to be found on these boards!

Cup of tea and I sleep so much better now! I'm day 7 and I've stopped waking up thirsty and sweating in the night. There is so much more to life than alcohol and I'm realising this now.

Welcome back, Pipedreamer! I am very close to two years sober now. It was tough at first; I learned that I had never so much "fell asleep" as just passed out. In the past I would have a target time in mind when I wanted to be asleep and time my drinking to be unconscious by then. Not a great plan but that's how I lived for a couple decades.

Everything has to change. I guess if you were sober for two years you have some idea how to get started. I'm not sure why you began drinking again...you'll have to figure that out to avoid the same fate.

The first week was the hardest. I relied on OTC sleep meds and melatonin for a few weeks. I wasn't crazy about that but it was better than panic attacks at bedtime.

Winding down was actually pretty easy- without being drunk all the time I found I never really got wound up in the first place. I had thought booze was an outlet for my stress but in actually booze was causing it. I drank to get over a crappy day, but the resultant hangover made the next day even worse. So of course I needed to get drunk again to get over that day. Chased my tail that way for 25 years.

Ultimately in time you just discover your life again. It takes care of itself to a degree. I always liked to read so being sober gave me time for that. Plus all my other hobbies.

I'm glad you found your way back again, Pipedreamer, and I hope you'll stick around. You can get back that zest for life you used to have!:ring

Pipedreamer - I know a lot of people find exercise as a great way to help them with early sobriety. With not drinking and exercising you will soon find your body image improving adding to the positive feeling you will need to get through the tough times and I'd imagine an hour in the gym will help you sleep at night.

Congrats on finding your way back, the first post back is the hardest.

Welcome back!! :wave:

I always found if left alone with my own thoughts, that was a recipe for disaster, reaching out for support or logging into SR was a great way of keeping my focus before doing anything!! :)