Nervous
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Congratulations on your success tonight, Aiko. Well done. Now take a minute and look back at your feelings of dread and panic about tonight. In retrospect, was it as difficult as you feared? Is staying sober going to be such a strain? Can you picture yourself now, sober and serene, in every situation like tonight?
I bet you can! I know you can. Believe in yourself and your commitment to your future and to staying sober. You have a bright future ahead of you. So go get it! Onward.
I bet you can! I know you can. Believe in yourself and your commitment to your future and to staying sober. You have a bright future ahead of you. So go get it! Onward.
AlmA
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
Been Thinking!!!
I can not do a masters right now... 
I have big memory problems...
Sometimes my memory goes blank!
Still fighting with AV!
Today been asked to go for a drink, could get hold of marihuana,...
and I have not even gone out!
The 14th go to court as a witness, I was the accountant,
but I have to see people that hurt me so much. My stomach turns...
Justice and big money at stake!
But at least I will turn up awake to fight... Fingers crossed!!!
Anyway I started to study tax at night behind my company!
I do not want them to find out I am getting ready,
in case I tell them to f**************
They have given me even more work load, Not feasible!!!!
My dad is screaming all the time and in bad mood with his drinking!
The operation of my mum coming up...!
Can not take any more pressure...
my head stills wants to get passed out!!!
Will not relapse again...
Before I was in the brink of a psychotic break and I thought of death daily.
Now I just think I want to get stoned but I am not doing it!!!
To me is a huge improvement...
Sorry just needed to get it out of my chest!
I have big memory problems...
Sometimes my memory goes blank!
Still fighting with AV!
Today been asked to go for a drink, could get hold of marihuana,...
and I have not even gone out!
The 14th go to court as a witness, I was the accountant,
but I have to see people that hurt me so much. My stomach turns...
Justice and big money at stake!
But at least I will turn up awake to fight... Fingers crossed!!!
Anyway I started to study tax at night behind my company!
I do not want them to find out I am getting ready,
in case I tell them to f**************
They have given me even more work load, Not feasible!!!!
My dad is screaming all the time and in bad mood with his drinking!
The operation of my mum coming up...!
Can not take any more pressure...
my head stills wants to get passed out!!!
Will not relapse again...
Before I was in the brink of a psychotic break and I thought of death daily.
Now I just think I want to get stoned but I am not doing it!!!
To me is a huge improvement...
Sorry just needed to get it out of my chest!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: WESTERN AUSTRALIA
Posts: 518
Isnt it wonderful you have SR to visit and say exactly what you are feeling.... that must really help.... and this site helps you re-inforce in your mind what you already know about your recovery. As SoberLeigh said you are a bright and talented young woman... please dont forget that and don't "lose" all that you have. xx
AlmA
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
Today I had an anxiety attack after work.
I had no choice but to phone the doc...
they want to change the treatment and are worried...
tomorrow my doc and my shrink are coming to Marbella just for me
So I am taking them to the biggest cake and Ice-Cream shop in town
Yesterday I did go to the Clinic and they wanted me to take a drug test,
but I said I would not do it, if I say I have not taken anything I have NOT,
I trust you!!! You have to trust me!!!
I go by myself, my family does not know, I pay for it, why am I going to lie???
On top I drove back and I see my dad with a glass of wine in a bar
I spoke to my younger brother he said he will talk to him...waste of breath...
P.S. We are all Talented in different ways and Specially in SR,
that is what makes us all interesting
Lots of xXx love xXx and (((Hugs)))
I had no choice but to phone the doc...
they want to change the treatment and are worried...
tomorrow my doc and my shrink are coming to Marbella just for me
So I am taking them to the biggest cake and Ice-Cream shop in town
Yesterday I did go to the Clinic and they wanted me to take a drug test,
but I said I would not do it, if I say I have not taken anything I have NOT,
I trust you!!! You have to trust me!!!
I go by myself, my family does not know, I pay for it, why am I going to lie???
On top I drove back and I see my dad with a glass of wine in a bar
I spoke to my younger brother he said he will talk to him...waste of breath...
P.S. We are all Talented in different ways and Specially in SR,
that is what makes us all interesting
Lots of xXx love xXx and (((Hugs)))
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,857
Wow, Aiko; doctors coming to a patient is practically unheard of here in the USA. Very glad to hear that they are so responsive to your needs.
Keep us up to date. Good luck tomorrow, sweet Aiko.
Keep us up to date. Good luck tomorrow, sweet Aiko.
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