Sitting in the corner watching myself
 

Not sure if it is stress, too many years of alcohol or just age. Just over day 50 days sobriety after 30 years of alcohol abuse and I feel like I am sitting in the corner watching myself function. Three majors things going on right now, sold my house and have 30 days to find a place to live, daughter just bought a new house and helping her move, new grandchild arriving this coming week. I am finding myself doing things methodically but not feeling like I am grasping what I am doing. Still functioning but this is scary......guess it is a combination of it all. Anyone else experience this? Is this a continuation of the brain fog?

50 days sober is amazing im sure things will balance out soon enough

50 days is incredible

Congratulations on 50days sobriety.

Early sobriety can be a roller coaster of feelings,you will start to feel better soon,it wil be worth it.

Hi Justwokeup. I'm really sorry you're feeling this way, but glad you want to talk it over.

I drank almost 30 yrs. too. It was a huge part of almost everything I did. When I first stopped I felt like an alien. Everything seemed strange and I was very foggy. At around 3 months things began to change. I felt like I was rejoining the human race, bit by bit. It doesn't happen all at once - we've beaten ourselves up badly - we need time to heal. You will get there.

Hevyn has great points. I'm a month in and feel like a zombie sometimes. Like I'm watching my life as if it's like a movie.

I also get a lot of what I call "time distortions". Like time is slo sometimes, and sometimes I can't beleive hours have passed. Time should bring us back to hearth in our own bodies.
Stay strong, and congradulations on 50 days!

Those are three really big things! It is like a new job or a new study, you sometimes have to go along for the ride and whatever sticks will stick, whatever doesn't you will learn or feel a little later. If that makes any sense. Keep going through the motions and it will work out.

My first year was tough. Going on two. Not a medical expert but do an internet search of PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms). It might explain a lot and prepare you for the ups and downs. 30 years of self abuse does a lot of damage (35+here) and it takes time to heal. It may not seem so now but recovery is worth the suffering.

Thanks everyone. I am struggling not with any urge as yet to ever take another drink but with the mental balancing. Trying to take one day at a time. I have always been in "control" of everything that touched my life and now I feel as if I cannot grasp the smallest things. Read that PAWS can take up to 2 years or more. Guess that is a small price to pay for 30 years of abuse.

I'm not disputing that it may take 2 yrs. for some, but that certainly wasn't the case for me.

I wouldn't call that brain fog.

All the things you mention are major changes. Selling your house and having to find a ne one, helping your daughter move, a new grandchild about to be born - that's a lot to deal with in early recovery. :)

Congratulations on 50 days sober!