Horrible things but happy to have survived
Horrible things but happy to have survived
I've been on here for awhile. I've been avoiding here for awhile. About 5 weeks ago, I decided to get drunk and call into work, my husband was livid so I took a box cutter ( I don't even REMEMBER this!!) to my wrists. He came home, sobbing and took me to ER and I had stiches (I feel so bad I did this to him) Our vacation was cancelled, he told my inlaws, I confessed to my dad -well not the cutting part - and then here I am agreeing to secret drinks. Hubby likes drinks so we now secret drink.
Why can I master school and work and not this?
Damn.
Why can I master school and work and not this?
Damn.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 73
You can master school/work and not alcoholism because two of those things are able to be mastered, and sadly alcoholism is not.
I'm glad you are okay, but secret drinking is most likely not a behavior you want to be engaging in after the incident 5 weeks ago.
Do you think that would have even happened had you not gotten drunk before hand? The decisions we make while drunk rob us of who we are when we are sober and do not accurately represent who we truly are.
Stick around, read and post. I can say for 100% sure if you go into recovery (abstinence) from alcohol you will eventually no longer feel the need to "master" it, but instead just live your life happily.
I'm glad you are okay, but secret drinking is most likely not a behavior you want to be engaging in after the incident 5 weeks ago.
Do you think that would have even happened had you not gotten drunk before hand? The decisions we make while drunk rob us of who we are when we are sober and do not accurately represent who we truly are.
Stick around, read and post. I can say for 100% sure if you go into recovery (abstinence) from alcohol you will eventually no longer feel the need to "master" it, but instead just live your life happily.
Yes SL - and I already have a 2Grand bill from the stupid therapy where counselors talked about supposedly dumb mexicans, having loaded guns, and horrible stuff I just don't understand why I'm paying money for this. I tried so hard to get help and got vile racist response. I guess I'm falling apart right now, that's good instead of accepting drinks.
I'm very pissed about the racism I encounterd.
I'm very pissed about the racism I encounterd.
Yes SL - and I already have a 2Grand bill from the stupid therapy where counselors talked about supposedly dumb mexicans, having loaded guns, and horrible stuff I just don't understand why I'm paying money for this. I tried so hard to get help and got vile racist response. I guess I'm falling apart right now, that's good instead of accepting drinks.
I'm very pissed about the racism I encounterd.
I'm very pissed about the racism I encounterd.
Hi, Torn-
Welcome back and so sorry for your trouble. I went through your old posts and your husband has a history of encouraging you to drink, even though he has seen the results several times. I guess the question is how much do you want to quit and what steps can you take without his support- because it seems you don't have it. This is a hard enough life change WITH support, let alone if someone is actively encouraging you to drink. Can you have a serious talk with him? It sounds like you are in the fight for your life- I hope you get the help that you need.
Welcome back and so sorry for your trouble. I went through your old posts and your husband has a history of encouraging you to drink, even though he has seen the results several times. I guess the question is how much do you want to quit and what steps can you take without his support- because it seems you don't have it. This is a hard enough life change WITH support, let alone if someone is actively encouraging you to drink. Can you have a serious talk with him? It sounds like you are in the fight for your life- I hope you get the help that you need.
Hi, Torn-
Welcome back and so sorry for your trouble. I went through your old posts and your husband has a history of encouraging you to drink, even though he has seen the results several times. I guess the question is how much do you want to quit and what steps can you take without his support- because it seems you don't have it. This is a hard enough life change WITH support, let alone if someone is actively encouraging you to drink. Can you have a serious talk with him? It sounds like you are in the fight for your life- I hope you get the help that you need.
Welcome back and so sorry for your trouble. I went through your old posts and your husband has a history of encouraging you to drink, even though he has seen the results several times. I guess the question is how much do you want to quit and what steps can you take without his support- because it seems you don't have it. This is a hard enough life change WITH support, let alone if someone is actively encouraging you to drink. Can you have a serious talk with him? It sounds like you are in the fight for your life- I hope you get the help that you need.
I just don't what to do anymore. I'm sick of crying and also being the bad guy.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
First, you have to stop drinking and stop listening when your husband says to have a drink. There are no bad guys here, just you wanting a better life for yourself. Sometimes our choices don't fit in with the choices of others, that doesn't make us "bad" for ruining the so-called party. It's no party for lots of us. It's a slow, painful death. You are choosing to live and be strong. The more you DO NOT drink, the stronger you will feel. Keep coming here and posting. I sat on this site for hours a day in the early weeks, it really helps. The people here really care, and you will make connections with some of them. We are all in the same boat, right?
Find a good therapist who isn't a racist idiot. No one deserves such treatment. Its extremely unethical and downright immoral. Makes me angry for you.
Just stick around. I'll be looking for your posts. You can do this.
Find a good therapist who isn't a racist idiot. No one deserves such treatment. Its extremely unethical and downright immoral. Makes me angry for you.
Just stick around. I'll be looking for your posts. You can do this.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
It's clear that you're in a great deal of pain, and for that I'm sorry.
Is your current counselor part of an outpatient drug and alcohol treatment facility or in private practice?
Although I don't follow this practice, many therapists post their areas of expertise online, and you can often find reviews of those people on the Internet as well. You can also call your contact your local office of mental health and request referrals. In many cases, you'll get a supportive presence on the other end of the phone who can help you sort all this out...meaning, your finding a reputable and capable therapist.
Is your current counselor part of an outpatient drug and alcohol treatment facility or in private practice?
Although I don't follow this practice, many therapists post their areas of expertise online, and you can often find reviews of those people on the Internet as well. You can also call your contact your local office of mental health and request referrals. In many cases, you'll get a supportive presence on the other end of the phone who can help you sort all this out...meaning, your finding a reputable and capable therapist.
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