Bad day
 

I'm sitting here, wondering why any of "it" matters anymore. Friends that clearly use me, a husband who doesn't wanna talk as out anything, and is prolly lying right to my face... But I'm too tired to even care. Other friends who lie to themselves, and think they are getting away with lying to me. I'm allowing all of these people to get under my skin and drive me insane-- sober. And I'm not gonna lie, at the moment, I don't wanna be sober. I wanna be buzzed. I wanna drink. But stay sober and it all falls into place...... I'm hanging on by a thread. And I hate it.

You are more than the way other people treat you :)

You can deal with all that down the lone...focus on yourself for now.

You;re not doing this for others, but for you.

Stay focused and sober - you'll find you'll be way more preceptive and capable about dealing with things with a little recovery time under your belt :)

D

if your hanging by a thread heres my hand ....

please just bear with it for now it would only be worse if a relapsed occured and then youd feel a million times worse

if you just want a vent il listen i dont want you thinking your all on your own D heres (hes great)

im here to listen help in any way i possibly can

hope u feel better soon keep posting it really helps in moments like this

big hugs

Thanks dee. This being honest and open is kinda new to me. Really. In all of my attempts at sobriety, I've always kept it to myself and not told anyone, other than the people who would drink with me, that I really wanted to drink. Sobriety doesn't make me unhappy. The fact that I don't know how to deal with all these people makes me unhappy. The mere thought of wanting a drink makes me unhappy. Am I being selfish? Am I doing something wrong because I don't know how to properly
Express myself? I'm sick of all the grey areas--- I just want black and white.

Thanks sober! That brought tears to my eyes :/

Life does tend to shades of grey tho ;)

It took me a while to learn to be a properly functioning adult, on :)

Don't be discouraged - stay committed and you'll get there too :)

D

While black and white seems so easy and clear cut, Dee is right, life tends to be shades of gray. I think this is something addicts (being all or none kind of people), find hard to grasp. I know I do too. But it is better when it is gray, really.

I had a friend tell me "balance is the key." He is right. In all things, it is the only way to be. :)

Hang in there ontherightpath ... stay on the path ;) you'll get through tonight.

:ring

re: bad day
 

I know where you are coming from. I had a bad day also. The grey area confuses me, but just get through today and tomorrow will probably be better. Sometimes you can't control people, places , things or situations. I ask my higher power for freedom from being irritated, make my amends and try to move forward. That's what I try to remember if I get upset about something. Just by you posting you had a bad day helped me. So, that's a positive. I don't come on here all the time but I like what I read.

I go to AA meetings throughout the week and that is where I find the grey areas. It's like if I skip some meetings something bad is going to happen or I have to go to certain meetings....things like that are bugging me lately.

Anyways, take it easy and drinking won't make it better, it will probably make it worse.

I'm so grateful for being able to be honest. I'm not comfortable right now. I wanna scream cry and sleep-- all at the same time!!!!!!!!!!! (Sounds like fun huh?) hahaha. Tomorrow will be better and the next day even better. Listen guys, I'm just being HONEST!!!! It's important for my sobriety. Good night :) it's bed time. 7 am meeting tomorrow