Where to start
 

I married 1 year ago, (8 year relationship)My husband is angry all most all the time , He is grumpy, bossy, controlling and does not see himself that way. I Knew he had problems and I thought if I made life as stress free as possible. Things would get better (life happens) (Stress happens).He throws living room furniture rants raves, talks about killing himself and others. over dropping a tabasco lid on the kitchen floor. I have always thought of myself as a strong person, he calls me spineless , I have hid in a closet afraid of him. He wants me to get canceling....I don't think I need it for me, He will not go. I am just finding out this has been a life time of behavior for him, he also called his ex-wife spineless and scared her for 14 years. Where do I start?

Wait- Is he the drinker, or are you?

That might help me/us here know where to start. lol.

This is abuse, plain and simple.

You do not have to live in fear and deal with verbal abuse.

Please get help for yourself:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline | Abuse Defined

Yes, exactly what Anna said. Do whatever it takes to protect yourself, Dorajean.

Get away from him as soon as you can. He will eventually turn his verbal rage into physical and you cannot help him.Your life is in danger. Don't minimize this! Get out as soon as you can safely do so. Where do you live?

Abuse is abuse no matter what form it takes, you gotta put YOU first in all of this!!

you start by getting out of that relationship and someplace safe.

Abuse, and it will only get worse. They never think they are the one with the problem. Make an exit plan and leave. Don't let him get wise to the fact that you are leaving.

Yes, please help yourself! This is your life, why spend it enabling this behavior by being there, married to him. Get help on an exit plan if you need it. He sounds like a childish cowardly villian who takes your innocent love for his greedy hunger, then spits it back at you.

Be Free!! Best of luck!

I agree with the majority here - abuse like this is unacceptable - no ifs ands or buts.
Please do get some help.

D

Start with the door