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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Winchester, Va
Posts: 50
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hello friends,
I have not posted for over two years, maybe 3. I joined the class of Nov. 2011. I lasted a week. who knows what sad excuse I used to give up back then. while I've not posted since then I've returned to this forum often on nights like this, tears in my eyes, wishing for strength. sometimes I wonder if its even there anymore. life has gotten so far away from me I've lost my own identity. rather than a big picture there is only a daily battle. get through the day to get home and have that drink, and then forget the day ever happened. like before, I function, I get by. what kills me is remembering that lapse of sobriety I had in my early 20s that lasted 2 years, remembering the zest for life, the enthusiasm, the positivity I exuded. the boundless energy. comparing that to the hollow shell I am now is painful. I've played the blame game, blamed everything but alcohol, but I can no longer fool myself. I have to find a way to stop. so I ask you all once again for your support. what did you do to replace alcohol in your nightly rituals. how did you wind down? how did you sleep? it's such a part of getting over the day. I don't know how to replace it. I get myself so worked up and convince myself that's the only way to unwind. I need advice please.
I have not posted for over two years, maybe 3. I joined the class of Nov. 2011. I lasted a week. who knows what sad excuse I used to give up back then. while I've not posted since then I've returned to this forum often on nights like this, tears in my eyes, wishing for strength. sometimes I wonder if its even there anymore. life has gotten so far away from me I've lost my own identity. rather than a big picture there is only a daily battle. get through the day to get home and have that drink, and then forget the day ever happened. like before, I function, I get by. what kills me is remembering that lapse of sobriety I had in my early 20s that lasted 2 years, remembering the zest for life, the enthusiasm, the positivity I exuded. the boundless energy. comparing that to the hollow shell I am now is painful. I've played the blame game, blamed everything but alcohol, but I can no longer fool myself. I have to find a way to stop. so I ask you all once again for your support. what did you do to replace alcohol in your nightly rituals. how did you wind down? how did you sleep? it's such a part of getting over the day. I don't know how to replace it. I get myself so worked up and convince myself that's the only way to unwind. I need advice please.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome back!! 
For me I had to completely change my evening after work routine, it was such a habit to go buy alcohol and sit and watch tv with a glass in my hand, I went for long walks, stayed close to SR, even left my bank cards at home so I couldn't buy anything on the way home.
It's gonna be tough in the beginning as the body adjusts, but I had nothing to loose by giving it a go and when that's the case we might as well take a leap of faith and see what happens!!
You can do this!!
For me I had to completely change my evening after work routine, it was such a habit to go buy alcohol and sit and watch tv with a glass in my hand, I went for long walks, stayed close to SR, even left my bank cards at home so I couldn't buy anything on the way home.
It's gonna be tough in the beginning as the body adjusts, but I had nothing to loose by giving it a go and when that's the case we might as well take a leap of faith and see what happens!!
You can do this!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
the only thing I did was come to the realization that I could never drink again. No matter what. In the beginning I just isolated from things and made sure there was no way I could be near a drink. I had a routine of going to IOP and AA meetings every day. It was the only time I left the house for a short time. Seeing people in AA every day solidified my resolve to not want to be like that forever.
I found SR about three months in to my sobriety. This place is where I came. It has become my group of sober people. Reading hear reminds me every single day that I don't ever want to drink again. I discovered AVRT through SR. I never looked back.
I found SR about three months in to my sobriety. This place is where I came. It has become my group of sober people. Reading hear reminds me every single day that I don't ever want to drink again. I discovered AVRT through SR. I never looked back.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 754
Welcome back Pipedreamer!
I too started here quite some time ago and recently came back. I TOTALLY get the nighttime routine of drinking to unwind the day and to go to sleep. I had to accept the fact that once I made this commitment, I will not sleep well for a short while. I am beginning my third week, and I still don't sleep well. I'm here to tell you...that's OK! I KNOW this way of living is soooo much better.
I also functioned, got by, and fit society's view of a perfectly normal individual. But I don't think it really is normal to drink to fall asleep, is it? This is your call to a better way. THERE IS A BETTER WAY. I think it is a mind game that you have to win. I had to set my mind to TOTAL abstinence.
BEST WISHES!
I too started here quite some time ago and recently came back. I TOTALLY get the nighttime routine of drinking to unwind the day and to go to sleep. I had to accept the fact that once I made this commitment, I will not sleep well for a short while. I am beginning my third week, and I still don't sleep well. I'm here to tell you...that's OK! I KNOW this way of living is soooo much better.
I also functioned, got by, and fit society's view of a perfectly normal individual. But I don't think it really is normal to drink to fall asleep, is it? This is your call to a better way. THERE IS A BETTER WAY. I think it is a mind game that you have to win. I had to set my mind to TOTAL abstinence.
BEST WISHES!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
I needed to recognize that my way was not working and change was needed even if I didn’t like it. I bounced around AA for a couple of years not being honest with myself about my drinking and did not accept the fact I could NOT drink in safety.
I don’t suffer well and the emotional pain of drinking was overwhelming so I surrendered and started doing what works for millions of sober people before me. I got involved in and went to meetings every day to change my bad habits and poor thinking process. BFTGOG the desire to drink quickly passed and it’s been many years since a desire to drink entered my thinking. I still go to 3-5 meetings a week for insurance because my best thinking got me there.
It’s been work but the benefits are certainly worth it.
BE WELL
I don’t suffer well and the emotional pain of drinking was overwhelming so I surrendered and started doing what works for millions of sober people before me. I got involved in and went to meetings every day to change my bad habits and poor thinking process. BFTGOG the desire to drink quickly passed and it’s been many years since a desire to drink entered my thinking. I still go to 3-5 meetings a week for insurance because my best thinking got me there.
It’s been work but the benefits are certainly worth it.
BE WELL
Thankful for this community
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Ontario
Posts: 371
Hi and welcome. I know exactly what you mean about evenings...drinking away watching tv and falling asleep only to get up to work hung over, get through the day and stop for wine or vodka on the way home to do it all again. That is a very recent memory. I am trying to break this habit but am early on. I have secluded myself in these first two weeks except for exercise at the gym (that's new within the last couple of months) and a few outings with my kids. Even put off work and the friends for a bit.
So I'm like you now...what do we do to fill the idle time? Oh, and I've re-engaged here...
So I'm like you now...what do we do to fill the idle time? Oh, and I've re-engaged here...
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