Eauchiche

I have been separated from my partner for 6 months. I worry about his drinking constantly. All my animals are with him and I'm 2-1/2 hours away.

I am trying to get my company to transfer me closer to home. They need someone there with my licensure and skills desperately. The office near home is booked out a month and a half because they need more licensed staff. I have very high marks and good reviews from my bosses here. The big boss down where I live does not like me, and is trying everything to keep me from transferring into his area. He made me feel like a very poor employee today with an e-mail he sent me, asking all kinds of nit-picky questions and criticizing my sales totals.

I hardly ever communicate with my partner, even e-mail, because he is usually drinking when he is not at work, and gets belligerent and mean. I feel that I need to live closer in case he gets sick or the animals need help. If I lived closer, I could at least see him when he's sober. We could at least talk once in a while. I miss the old him desperately.

Even with God and my sobriety, I feel utterly helpless and alone. A few years ago, I would have been getting drunk and hooked on internet porn again with a lot less stress and pain than this.

Nuudawn

Your ex...still actively alcoholic partner will not salve your pain and lonelieness. Do you have friends and family...anyone to lean on right now..to talk with..be with..hang out with where you are?

Why do you not have the animals? Do they belong to your ex?

Meraviglioso

Yes, can you not bring the animals to you. Returning to the area where your ex, who is drinking, lives as well as a new work under a boss who seems to have it out for you does not sound so healthy or safe.
I can imagine that being far away from him is still difficult, despite what you- or others- might recognize as unhealthy. The really frustrating thing about breakups is that the one thing that helps the most- time- is the one thing you can't do anything about. I know that pain well, it is no fun to go through. But it does pass. Worrying about someone you cared about is normal and natural, but you need to take of yourself and your sobriety first. Think long and hard before making a decision to transfer back there.
As for the boss, some people are just like that. He may be jealous or threatened by your success. Or he may just not like you, it happens. It is no excuse for him acting so unprofessionally, but don't put your own career on the line by fighting back. Defend yourself honestly when needed, do you work to the best of your ability and let the results speak for themselves.
Hold your head high, you are sober, you are strong. We are all here for you.

Eauchiche

Thank God, his mercies are new every morning. After literally sleeping on this, I am convinced that the regional manager down there is really trying to hang me. I have also been communicating with people in a recovery ministry there who have proven that they are apathetic.
Yes, you are right. Bakersfield is like Chernobyl. Incidently, Forbes magazine ranks it as one of the drunkest cities in the US.

Eauchiche

Just another thought.
Survivors go through a lot of pain when someone they love dies. They never talk about "moving closer" or other coping behaviors to try and make things work.
I think this is the same thing. Thanks again!

Anna

I agree with staying away from your ex, but I hope you manage to care for your animals

Mountainmanbob

You are putting up (the good fight.)
And it will pay off for you in time.

We learn to face all troubles in life sober.
That is where we find our reward.

Let's fact the facts and not deceive ourselves yet again.
The devil wishes for our return.

MM