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Old 09-17-2014, 05:58 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Lost an awesome gf


Hi, I've never posted anything but I need somewhere to talk. I am 35 years old and an alcoholic. I've drank heavily since I was 18 years old. Never enjoyed hard booze. Just beer. But I drink 6 to 12 a day. I had a wonderful woman, married for 7 years, who is now a surgeon but she left me about a year and a half ago. Because of drinking. We have a beautiful 5 year old daughter together and I have custody of her 6 months of the year. When she is with me I drink much less...but when she is with her mom I party hard. In the last year I found a wonderful woman who let me and my daughter into her life. This last week she left me because of my drinking of course. Now I feel the worst guilt of my life because my daughter and her loved each other very much. I am a horrible person. Don't get me wrong. I have a good paying job and support and do anything for my kiddo. But I have let everyone down again. I feel like going away to a hole in the ground. I have hurt everyone in my life because of booze. I've gone to AA and do not like it at all. Hate being singled out. Never been this sad in life. Not looking for sympathy. Just need to write this.
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Old 09-17-2014, 06:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi and Welcome,

You are not a horrible person. Alcoholism is not a character defect. It's a disease and you can recover.

Take a look around here and you will see lots of people who recover without using AA. Basically, do whatever it takes to get and to stay sober.
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Old 09-17-2014, 06:05 PM   #3 (permalink)
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It's never ever too late to be the man you want to be Mitch

Glad to have you join us

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Old 09-17-2014, 06:13 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Welcome! I'm glad you joined us. There's a lot of wisdom and experience here. Let us help you stay sober.
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Old 09-17-2014, 06:30 PM   #5 (permalink)
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You know Mitch, part of why I quit drinking was because I looked back on my life and saw these great, great relationships, and nearly every one of them ended because of my drinking. And I said to myself, "this really has to stop or someday I am going to die drunk and alone and my only company will be my cold regrets."

A bad point in life can be a turning point, or it can be a short layover on a road that goes darker and deeper still.

Welcome to the forum Sorry to go all Edgar Allen Poe in your first thread
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Old 09-17-2014, 06:36 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Hi Mitch. I'm so glad you reached out for some support.

I'm sorry you're in pain, but here's where it can end. I drank all my life and never imagined I could live without it. Guess what - there is life after alcohol - and it's wonderful. You don't need it - it's doing nothing to enhance your life or make things easier or better. Time to say goodbye to that old way of life and look forward to a new day. Good to have you with us.
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Old 09-17-2014, 06:42 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I have found sobriety was not about what I liked it was about what worked
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Old 09-17-2014, 06:50 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Welcome Mitch. There is no time like the present to make some changes and give up the booze. You can get this all straightened out and you will feel so much better. This site can help you get sober. Glad you joined us.
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Old 09-17-2014, 06:57 PM   #9 (permalink)
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It's time to sober up Mitch. You're 35 with a daughter and a good job. Don't dwell on the past. There is a whole new life out there for you.
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Old 09-18-2014, 01:58 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Welcome to the Forum Mitch!! Great to have you onboard!!
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Old 09-18-2014, 02:48 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Hi Mitch, the only way ahead is down unless you stop drinking. Sorry to be that blunt. I know you're probably having a lot of difficulty imagining life without alcohol, but it can be done. Start by talking frankly to your doctor, maybe a counsellor. There is a way, but you'll need to find the motivation that works best for you.
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Old 09-18-2014, 04:54 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Hi Mitch
We all have the ability to change our future. One step at a time. I think you can do this and you have a beautiful daughter - what better reason to get sober. I am confident you can do this.
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Old 09-18-2014, 05:00 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mitch1978 View Post
Never been this sad in life.
As bad as things are they can get worse. But they don't have to. They can also get much MUCH better. It's all up to you.

AA is a path many people walk to a happy sober life, but there are others. Find yours.

You can do this.
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Old 09-18-2014, 05:25 AM   #14 (permalink)
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I lost some good people when I drank. But now, after hanging on to some, I have gained many more awesome people in my life. xx
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Old 09-18-2014, 05:34 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mitch1978 View Post
I've gone to AA and do not like it at all.
Didn't like AA? Or didn't like the idea of not drinking? There is a good chance you didn't like AA because you weren't receptive to the idea of sobriety.

Maybe now?

And if not, there are other ways to quit drinking. But you have to be ready to quit. Are you?
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Old 09-18-2014, 04:34 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Thank you all for your strong word and advice. It means so much to me right now
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Old 09-18-2014, 11:03 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Welcome Mitch. AA isn't the only way..but it is readily available most everywhere. I personally didn't want to return there myself. I put 4 months of sobriety together last year without it..just leaned in a lot here at SR..and found a wonderful caring community here who helped me through cravings and confusion. For me, well I decided to give it another go because I kinda needed to make some real world sober connections. I went to a few meetings and really didn't feel comfortable at most of them..until I found one...small unpopular one with some folks who seemed...well, different than the rest. I committed to that one..and only that one pretty much. For me..well, I just knew that lonelieness and isolation was a danger to my sobriety..so I had to add some 3D support and well...there are ALL kinds there and I found some folks I could relate with after all. I don't have to like or listen to everyone in AA..only the ones I like and respect. There are some fine folks and there are some not so fine..and there are some genuine nutbars. Like life really : )

There are also different recovery groups (Lifering, SMART etc).

Whether it's 3D or a cyber community...I would really suggest you lean on something a little. Sobriety is new trail to blaze..and well, it ain't easy sometimes.

You've lost enough...let some folks in who understand.
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