ScottFromWI

Yes it does make sense from a motivation standpoint IF you can view it as motivator, rather than a stressor. Keep in mind that his drinking was the precursor to your recent drinking - so it's a big IF.

Having an open conversation about it and being honest about what your goals are to both of them would probably be the best start, don't you think?

heath480

Patricia you have a real desire to stay sober,you can do this.

Soberwolf

It has happened its in the past..... now back to the present (sounds hard but is key to sobriety)

if sobriety no drinking alcohol at all is your goal then all i can say is you have to not only really want it but you have to put the changes in place mentally & physically you feel better emotionally over time for doing this

if your mind is saying drink drink tell your mind otherwise if you want to be sober dont listen to a craving liusten to your heart and soul the stuff that makes you you !

if there are other factors to consider then consider them towards your sobriety as that is the most important factor in all of this

i wish you every sucess in getting sober i commend your honesty and bravery in being able to speak about this

good luck

patricia68

You know what's weird Soberwolf? I don't crave alcohol as much as I want my anxiety to go away. I don't even enjoy drinking, in within 5 minutes my stomach is telling this was a bad idea. But the panic and anxiety are unbearable. Alcohol is my self medication for that. I get desperate and want it to stop NOW, so I drink. And of course the consequences are much more horrible than the anxiety itself...

Nuudawn

Patricia...I don't have much else to add (so much great input already) but I am wondering, do you have any real life support? Someone to call and talk to in recovery? Someone to really talk to ya know? Sobriety isn't easy and if your SO drinks moderately..well, that's additional pressure. I'm just thinking you might benefit from more support...people to actually talk to when you're struggling. Someone you could have had a real conversation with about your dad-in-law coming and how you were feeling bout it.

Did you post about that? I haven't been around much lately, so don't know if you did that. Apologies if you did or if I'm off base here.

Dee74

We live in a world of drinkers.
It is possible to stay sober...but sometimes that takes a lot of work.

If your FIL is going to be a fixture in your home you'll need to think about healthy boundsaries and enforcing them I think Patricia?

D

patricia68

I am seriously considering asking for your phone number Nuudawn. Might be too much to ask, might even be too much for my social anxiety, but we are in the same province and you inspire me so much...right now I am dealing with a lot of panic and really can't think straight, but as soon as I calm down I might ask you
You are a lovely person and an incredible inspiration to me <3

Soberwolf

Now that's a post wow !

sprout50

Patricia, I really feel for you having panic and anxiety. I am the same way. One thing i can say, is that without alcohol, I can better deal with my panic attacks and they are less frequent. Letting go of things that I cannot control has helped but I do understand that when you have a situation in your own home, it's hard to let it go.

Have you talked to your husband yet?