So thankful....
 

So thankful for my sobriety this week. As weeks go..this has got to rate as one of the hardest ever and I'm only half way through.

On Monday I had this hugely difficult meeting at work, chairing a meeting with a lot of unhappy folk, trying to mediate and being fair to everyone.

Yesterday we laid my Dad to rest. He died 2 weeks ago. We'd had the most difficult of relationships for many years but in the past 6 months we had moved past all that and grown really close. I guess I'm grateful that we had something worth grieving for in the end. Being sober meant I could help my mum make all the arrangements and stand by her side to face whatever she needs to face.

I can deal with those members of my family whose own alcoholism means they have made Dad's death all about them, and whose behaviour has threatened to ruin what fragile relationships already exist. I can recognise their fear and anxieties yet remain strong for those who do not understand it.

Today I'm setting the wheels in motion for moving jobs. I've been at the same place for 12 years. I don't 'do' change very easily. I would rather remain in an unhappy place than take a chance on something new. But Mum needs me closer, and I want to be more available for her, so I'm going to have to weather some huge opposition from my current boss.

And on Saturday...I take my beautiful daughter, the light of my life to university.

The whole of my world is changing beyond all recognition. And I can do it...because I'm sober.

I watched my family drinking at my Dad's wake yesterday...I'm NEVER going back to that. I'm a different person, stronger.

I drank every night, I had no idea if I would ever be able to move away from that. It was hard in the beginning, but I'm so very grateful I did. Thank you so much SR. Xxx

Sending you hugs, Jeni.

And I so hear you about being grateful for sobriety!

I'll be thinking you of you, my friend.

Stay and strong and calm.

Oh my gosh Jeni, you have SO much going on, all in one week. I know that must be difficult for you. I am so sorry about the loss of your father, I found what you wrote: "I guess I'm grateful that we had something worth grieving for in the end" so touchingly beautiful.
Saturday will certainly be tough as well. I remember when my mother dropped me off at University and we hugged and hugged and sobbed and sobbed. It was difficult but I came to love University and we still kept our strong connection throughout the years.
Best wishes to you, you are really taking it from all sides but as you said, being sober is certainly the best way to get through all this.
A big hug.

Oh jeni-I'm sorry to hear about your dad. Sending lots of love! Xxx

Hi Jeni,

Hoping for clearer waters ahead for you.

We'll all be with you through these changes Jeni.
I think your attitude is great :)

D

I am so sorry for your loss, but happy for you. I love your posts, and am glad that you have found sobriety. Hugs friend.

We are capable of so much clean and sober, and so little drunk. Congrats.

It amazes me what people can and do get through sober. It is an inspiration to me.

I know that each hill I climb and remain sober makes me stronger.

I hope you are able to sail smoother waters soon :hug:

I'm sorry about your Dad, but your post is so inspiring. The part about your alcoholic relatives making it all about them...that would be my family (not to make this about ME, but you know what I mean!) Congratulations on your sobriety.

This really touched my heart

My condolences ... and you didnt drink

that kind of strenght is incredible such an amazing post

So strange today...I have spent time looking through my parents' finances. My Dad always sorted everything out, and my Mum has no idea who even provides the water, electricity, phone line etc. so I've been on the phone most of the day, getting Dad's name taken off the accounts and trying to make things simpler and clearer for Mum.

He kept all his papers in an old leather box which I'm guessing must have been used for cigars at some point. It felt wrong to be rifling through it, but I know he'd have wanted me to help in this way. Right at the bottom was an old black and white photo of him holding me as a baby. He'd kept it all this time. He looked so young..he must have been 22 or 23 at that time, not much older than my own son. He looked so proud. He didn't drink in those days. I wondered when alcoholism had got a grip of him. All those wasted years...I would love the opportunity to talk to that young man. So sad.

I'm so sorry for your loss Jeni :(
But am so inspired of how you have handled all this. Your dad I'm sure would be very proud of you for being there for your mom.

It shows throughout your post too Jeni, your strength is very admirable.

Powerful stuff Jeni. You are an inspiration for sure.

Great stuff Jeni!! You're making it happen!! :You_Rock_

Jeni,

You ARE a different person! You know I'm sorry for your loss. The person you have become is now someone who had the capacity to heal with your father. And in the end, he gained the capacity to heal with you. That's huge.

When I met you, you were a wonderful person with so much to give, such a sensitivity to others. Like so many of us, you had a lot of anxieties about life. Now you are just a complete wonder. A rock star! :)

You sound very grounded. Well done.

Family.

I'll just leave that alone. So much there for all of us.

Oh, Jeni. I'm so sorry for your loss, my friend, but I'm so, so proud of you :hug: You're a fantastic example of what can be achieved through sobriety xxx

Jeni, thinking of you.x