So i'm 20 days sober today...Feeling good...Emotionally kinda scattered/volatile again...Started thinking about my Uncle that passed 2 years ago (unexpectedly from a stoke) at age 50...And had to fight to compose myself on the subway.
And these emotions come out of nowhere...I've grieved for him...I've accepted that he's gone...And still WAVES of emotion still can bring me to my knees.
But i'm learning to cope...Anyways...Went to AA today and they started reading from the Big Book from Page 1...Always nice to start over
It talks about Bill shaking violently in the morning...and drinking tumblers of gin followed by 6 bottles of beer first thing in the morning...Which was followed by this..
*Page 5*--> Nevertheless, I still thought i could control the situation, and there were periods of sobriety which renewed my wife's hope. Gradually things got worse.
I've read it before...But today...That my friends...FLOORED me. That is 100% LOSS of CONTROL...The past periods of sobriety renew hope...But they DO NOT protect you/me from that FIRST drink!
*Gradually things got worse*...I'm 20 days sober and things are *Gradually getting better!*
I like it MUCH better on this side. I look forward to tomorrow.
Stay vigilant friends...We DO have a choice. I choose not to drink today.