MavisTheFairy13

Hello
I have a problem with drinking at home. A bottle or more every night. Have tried going cold turkey, hypnotherapy, allen carr easyway, cutting down, but am really struggling. Everything works....for a few days....then back to square one again. I don't want to give up alcohol completely, would like to be able to have a couple of beers when I go out - I only go out once or twice a month. But the wine has to go. Is this possible? Would really like to know if anyone has been able to achieve something similar or whether the only way is to give it all up completely

EJ43

Hi Mavis, we all had to give it up. Facing that is very difficult, but so incredibly worth it. This is a great place to find support. If I went out for two, it means *********, or drinking at home before and after....not in my capabilities.

Chilledice

Is it possible to have a few beers now and then? Hmm that depends if you are an alcoholic or not!

Personally speaking I say if the booze is causing you so much distress in your life where you have to look up techniques to help quit then its time to pack it all in for good

seahorse661

I would also like to be able to have a few drinks when I go out; my body and mind don't allow that. It never ends at a few, and it's never only when I am out. In a short period of time I am drinking gallons of wine a week - at home, at work, I just can't stop once I start. For me, the only way was to give up completely.
All the best

Soberwolf

so you come onto a sobriety website saying you dont want to give up drink even tho its messing up your life you just want to cut down .... you have come to the right place

there is no moderation you either drink or you dont drink if you drink and think you control it (youve already said you cant) why are you persisting with the idea of drinking when you know that

ahhhhhhhhh yes

Only a alcoholic has a problem with stopping drinking right ?

give it up and change your life it worked for me and loads of others here

MavisTheFairy13

I'm sorry, I thought this was a support forum. I am perfectly aware that I am an alcoholic and have been for a few years. I have tried to stop completely and failed. I'm looking for a little help here not sarcasm

luvmygirls

I feel like I can moderate (as an alcoholic), but never for long. Then, I feel like I'm making up for all the moderate drinking and it's even worse. :-(

Trying2bhappy

Hi Mavis and welcome!
I'm pretty new here myself and I have found this board to be extremely helpful to my sobriety! Everyone on here is so nice and helpful! As far as the drinking, I wasn't much of a wine drinker. I liked beer. In the past when I decided that I needed to "cut down" on my drinking, I would switch to wine b/c I don't like it enough where I would drink the whole bottle. But, what would end up happening, is that I'd drink a couple of glasses, get a little buzz, then eventually switch to beer later in the night! So, I realized that I had to cut it all out!!!

EJ43

Mavis, it is a support forum, but many personalities. It is a place where people will support you in many ways. Believe it or not, that was a support message. Sometimes people provide a look in the mirror that they have also faced.......wolf, bad dog! Hahahaha!

Hang in, you will see the more u read. You are welcome into a safe place here.

sprout50

Mavis, Soberwolf is not trying to be sarcastic. If you notice, he said you have come to the right place. His post just shows the mind set we have all been through.

If you have beer instead of wine, you will end up going back to wine and drinking too much again. Alcohol is alcohol and for us, it all leads to the same place.

Keep coming here. Keep posting. We are here for you.

PurpleKnight

For me I couldn't have that few beers, the reason being is that would convince my mind that those bottles of wine throughout the week would be alright, I'd start off promising to myself I'm only going to drink a few times a month, I would then move the goal posts to every weekend, then the odd night during the week, and before I knew it, I was back full circle to where I started, drinking daily.

As you mentioned, you get to a few days in and then you're back to square one with your bottle of wine every night, this indicates to me that the few nights a month might not be an option, as like me the ship may have already sailed on controlling alcohol.

For me I had to close that flood gate, abstinence permanently was how I finally controlled alcohol, not having that 1st drink, getting away from that constant conversation in my head about moderating and restricting my drinking to a few times or a few drinks a week/month!!

You'll find loads of support here on SR, whatever you decide is right for you!!

Soberwolf

Mavis these are the things i read

your in denial you say your alcoholic but are looking for a way to drink

im not even sure you see it i know i didnt when it was happening to me

if you decide to give up drink my hand as always will be there

im never going to say try moderation as a way to combat alcoholism

noit being sarcy just saying it as i see it

KateL

I've tried cutting down, changing patterns and all of that in the past, but I always ended up back to square one - a gibbering mess. xxx

Jupiters

welcome Mavis
it is a support forum - don`t worry.
Like you, I enjoyed my wine...a little too much
I`m just over 4 months sober now...I know for me, it had to be all or nothing. I`m pretty sure most of us tried every trick and even made some new ones up along the way, to be able to drink occasionally....it may have worked for a bit, but the end result always led back to a hot mess.

Lola23

Mavis - you've come to a great site, you'll find support and a lot of wisdom here. Please do stick around and keep posting. It's fine to ask questions. Like you, my first question here was whether everyone was completely 100% sober or if anyone was going the moderation route. And then despite the information that most people provided, I tried moderating...tried so many different things. And the only thing that "worked" was knowing I couldn't drink at all. I won't say forever b/c the thought of forever is too much for me...but I do say that I know I'm not going to drink today. And not tomorrow. And then whatever happens, I can handle it.

Not sure if that even made sense...but point it, do stick around here!

VikingGF

I never really tried to moderate, but I'm way too afraid to try it now. Gave up the wine, and feel good about it. Don't ever want to go back. It had me in a good, strong hold- pretty sure it wouldn't let me out easily the next time, so there just can't be a next time.

ghostdad

Welcome. Moderation never worked for me - always ended up drinking more. When you go out do you truly only have two beers? Just asking. Giving up alcohol completely would be optimum if you consider yourself to be an alcoholic.

flossyfressia

Hi Mavis,

Believe me when I say if you want support, sober recovery is where you'll find it! Everybody gives support in different ways though.

I'm day 3 AF now after a 10 week relapse. I cannot drink in moderation. It is not possible for me. I have a drinking problem (in particular wine!!) and it's taken a long time to come to terms with it.

I would love to be able to drink socially and that be it but it will never happen for me.

Lots of love xx

MavisTheFairy13

Thanks everyone. Including soberwolf lol. I was feeling so low yesterday your post upset me, maybe the way it was worded or maybe just because I know I need to stop completely and the thought terrifies me. Anyway I have spoken to my husband and we are going to be an alcohol free home

flossyfressia

Glad to hear you feel better Mavis-I've never known any regular poster on here upset anybody intentionally - there's nothing but support! I'm really pleased you've come to an agreement with your hubby xxx