Raider

I know this sounds crazy. We went to see a house today. View was incredible. I warned to love that house, I just wanted to love it. But I didn't. Holy Cow, walls were half painted, looks like someone decided one day to put in a light switch so the just cut a hole in the wall, it was on a 50 foot cliff, it had zero closet space, the decking needed work, there were water leaks in the ceiling, etc etc
I really wanted to love it. Bummer.

Then we got back to the cabin and the realtor sends me the MLS listing of the Utah house.....the pics are so gorgeous. The house is gorgeous. The view is fabulous. And I really miss it and I feel this big ball of afraidness and dread in my stomach.

And this is what I wanted, to live here so I don't understand my sadness.

So please help....

Even ZefuzZ doesn't understand.

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Dee74

Moving can be traumatic Pam.
I didn't want to leave my old town, but now I'm glad I did...this house is so much better and so much closer to everything I need.

I know you'll find a place you love...it just might not be the first one you see

hang in there

D

MariahGayle

Letting go is hard, changes are hard - Thinking of you & Fuzz ((hugs)) Glad you posted

trachemys

Aw, change is fun, ain't it? New car, new house, leg bitten off below the knee by a shark. I hate to say it, but you just DEAL. You'll be fine, figure it out, come out the other side shiny.

Raider

Crap.....I don't understand, I wanted this.

Sinderos

I understand how you feel. Sort of. I was actively drinking and moved 450 miles from home. Then 9 months later got a job offer 50 miles from "home". I took it (still actively drinking). Then I got here and wondered what on earth I did and why did I move. I moved here right at 4 months ago. It took about 3 months before I was glad I moved and started feeling like I made the right decision. (I've been sober for 2 weeks and know I'm where I need to be.) hang in there and trust the decisions you have made.

Anna

Just give yourself a little more time to get used to the idea, Pam.

The Fuzz does look a little perplexed.

happyandfree

It was kinda fast to be seeing a house anyway. You must be exhausted from the move and it must have been horrible emotionally to see a crummy house after just leaving your beautiful home. You know finding the right place takes time. It would have been nice if the first one you looked at was perfect...so you wouldn't have to deal with the emotional roller coaster of house hunting. That was highly unlikely. But you know you will find a wonderful new home in time. And one that's not a handyman special either, if that's not what you want. Be patient and get some rest. You will find a beautiful new home.

fini

Pam,

maybe the expectation you're having is that because you wanted the change there "should" be no missing, no sadness, no heartache?

you left something behind, even while wanting to move on from it. so why wouldn't you be sad? there's a goodbye involved, a big one, so...just because i wanted something doesn't mean when i get it/do it it's all roses right away.

ScottFromWI

You've not even been there barely 24 hours Raider, you have to give this some time. You and your family are far more important than where you happen to be. The walls that surrond you are merely there to provide shelter and security, and you will absolutely find something you adore soon enough. I bet my wife and I looked at close to 100 houses before we moved last time!

trachemys

Pam, let's try this a different way: Ever built a house? It's an ugly rough thing. Did you know your walls are full of lumber and conduit and piping? To put a light switch in a wall is not a delicate thing. You put up the wall and you cut a hole in it for the switch. You want wiring we put it in before the walls are up, while it's still framework. It involves pneumatic nail guns, large lumber, and sweat.

I'm wandering off into my own thoughts aren't I? I'll stop.

CAPTAINZING2000

I went thru this process this spring.

Might be a good idea to get a contractor with good reputation and go thru the house to make an inspection of it.

Prioritize what needs to be done now. A leak in the roof is more important then a hole in the wall where a light switch was supposed to be.
There is a sense of fulfillment in taking on a task and slowly watching the process as it gets finished.
Take pictures of it now and more after each project is completed.
I'm in the process of converting my loft into a bedroom.
Do you have a vision of what you want it to look like? Focus on that and make it a reality.
Each new journey in life begins with the first step

courage2

Raider, I say, go ahead and cry. Feel a bit bad -- but not too bad. Miss your old place. Just don't DO anything -- don't drink, don't use sadness as an excuse, don't call the realtor & take the old place off the market, don't rashly buy something else, don't drink.

There are a lot of places that I've moved on from that I miss now & then. Some of them I visit in my dreams. All of them with practice I've learned to visit in my waking mind. I take little walking tours through the rooms sometimes when I just want to remind myself. Not often though -- that would be weird.

Dee74

I like the familiar. I like routine.
Moving here took me out of everything I'd known for a decade.

But I am getting used to it...you will too Pam

D

Thelou

Wait, you have a hairless cat? Tell me more about him/her. I want one, bit hubby is scared. Back to topic: moving sucks! We just did it, and change is hard. Think of this possible new property as an investment piece. By it cheap bc it's in need of repair. Fix it. Then either stay snd enjoy or make a killing. It's a win win

Thelou

Sorry for the grammatical errors. Rocking baby to sleep while toddler is fussing at feet

alphaomega

Sometimes our greatest gifts are unanswered prayers...

Lean on your faith in times of trouble. Surrendering to the process and flow of life and trusting is what gets me through bumps in the road such as these.

Best To you Pam.

XO AO

EJ43

Moving is one of the top three major events in life. I just did it three years ago when I wasn't fully on board. I LOVE my new place! In the process, I cried And cried! Oh god so much! I am happy in my house. I am happy just to sit in it and enjoy it, really! Terrible for my social life! But boy did I shed a tear leaving my old house! Wow! Good luck, home is where you hang your hat....and bring the Fuzz!

Fandy

I once knew a couple who like you did all this work on their home to sell it, decided there was nothing better, they took their home off the market and enjoyed their renovations.
Give me your address, I will mail you a big bag of cat hair from my house... ( pics of my Perry on harvest moon whiners at the end).

FreeOwl

I went back to the house I remodeled in CA a few years ago. It was a house I wanted to make with my ex wife...

The trees had grown. The landscaping had bloomed into what I'd envisioned. The place looked almost exactly as I'd envisioned it.

I was hit with grief. It was a loss.... a loss of more than just a house, but a whole dream that the house represented.

But, I've moved on now and I'm grateful for my life and what it's become and is becoming. My current house isn't my dream house, but one day I'll feel that either this house or another house to come is truly my vision.

Along the way, I'm working on simply being grateful for these walls that are my Home - wherever they may be and whatever they may hold.

May you find a sense of Home wherever you may wander as well.