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Old 09-15-2014, 06:54 AM   #1 (permalink)
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30th birthday and itching for that "high" already


Well today is going to be ROUGH. It's my 30th birthday and at 8:45 in the morning I'm already going out of my mind wanting to get ****** up beyond all belief. I honestly don't know how to "celebrate" a birthday without getting drunk as hell and snorting up all the pills I can get my hands on. I know I can't throw my 67 days of clean time away but holy crap I want to. I honestly wish I could just sleep all day and have this day over with already. Gotta keep strong and clean today and not relapse. Well off to an interesting and rough day...
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Old 09-15-2014, 07:00 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Enjoy the day without getting drunk and high. You will feel a lot better at 30 years plus one day if you get through today sober.
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Old 09-15-2014, 07:06 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Hey, I know that feeling well. I had it on the morning of my 40th birthday, when I had about 60 days clean. I made it through that day, but then relapsed a couple of weeks later.

Ask yourself this- how do you see yourself moving forward? Do you want to carry on with this merry-go-round. What kind of dreams do you have for your life?

I got 4 months clean and then relapsed, and am now back at square one. I so wish I hadn't relapsed.

If you drink tonight, you will awake up in the morning feeling hungover, and full of regret. I know the addict voice in you is telling you that this is something you are prepared to accept if you can get high, just for tonight. Try to distance yourself from that voice, because it doesn't have your best interests at heart.

If you don't stop now, today, when will it happen for you?

Can you go for a walk?
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Old 09-15-2014, 07:16 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Thing is there is always some celebration or some reward or some tragedy or some disappointment or some Monday or. . .you get the picture.

I drank because that's what I did as an alcoholic. Every reason and I didn't need a reason. If I was awake, that was a good reason. ugh.

I hope you make the decision to go through your entire thirties clean.

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Old 09-15-2014, 07:24 AM   #5 (permalink)
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i know the feeling all too well, but I hope this helps:

For my last birthday, I had friends coming over in the afternoon and we started drinking on the balcony. Beer, wine, champagne, what have you. I also had friends coming in from out of town who drove hours to come celebrate with me. We then had plans to meet more friends for dinner and a night of partying in town.

By the time they got to my place, I was already really drunk. Then more drinks were had and by 5pm (or 4, not sure), I was in bed, drunk, sleeping. Wasn't able to go out. Missed my own birthday party.

Don't let that be you. Enjoy your birthday and spend it with friends and family and best of all, remember it all tomorrow.

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Old 09-15-2014, 07:28 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Gosh I know the feeling. My thirtieth is this Saturday (a Saturday!!) and I quite honestly don't know how to properly celebrate it sober without feeling - deprived. Silly, perhaps, but there nonetheless. I'm already brainstorming alternate ideas and plans, though I have yet to come up with much. Do you remember a sober birthday you enjoyed? Maybe take yourself to LegoLand and get a slurpee. I kid. But I feel ya. Please show me how it's done
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Old 09-15-2014, 07:28 AM   #7 (permalink)
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Enjoy it responsibly

Now that I think about it, why did so many of us try to kill ourselves on our birthday so many times over the years. "It's my birthday, I'm gonna get wasted."
It should be a day to celebrate life, not try to destroy it.
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Old 09-15-2014, 09:16 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Happy birthday!!!. 30!! So many years ahead of you if you make the right decisions. fast forward to your 40th. Will you be happy, healthy, wealthy, living the life you deserve? or stuck in the same rut as 2.5 months ago with many more personal, emotional and physical problems on top? or worse perhaps?

Make the right decsions today.

Spend it with people who you love & respect & who will supoport you for a sober day today and into the future.

Get a massive cake & some ice-cream though!

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Old 09-15-2014, 09:59 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Happy birthday!!

Wait one more day please! I promise you tomorrow you'll be glad you didn't do it.

About the high, when i read this post i realized that i stopped wanting the high some time ago. Don't know when, but more than 3 months for sure. And i'm not even at 6 months yet.

I can't promise you that you will stop wanting the high tomorrow, next week, or next month, but i can promise you that it will eventually happen! If you get high today, you will want it again and again. And you'll end up trapped in the same circle.
Be strong today for you!
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Old 09-15-2014, 09:59 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Happy Birthday!! I know the feeling...but you can do it and still feel like you were able to celebrate. I had the same feeling for my 35th...but you know what, I actually ENJOYED just being sober and actually remembering everything about my bday. Can you do something else to celebrate? Maybe get a massage or something else you like? Even if its not today...but plan something during the week JUST as a present to yourself? I spurlged on a massage on my bday b/c I figured I was easily saving $100 in only a week by not drinking..

Have a great bday! SR is behind you!
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Old 09-15-2014, 10:36 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Happy Birthday. I know you want to see your 31st, so stay clean!!!!
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Old 09-15-2014, 11:00 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Happy Birthday!!

Somehow we need to detach ourselves from the idea of getting alcoholic poisoning or worse on special occasions, birthdays, weddings, Xmas, New Years, all it ever seemed to do was put a hole in my bank balance and caused suffering for the next few days afterwards, where was the fun?

The problem is our minds promise the world and more as we look into the future at these occasions, but the reality never lives up to the "fantastic" messed up time we're promised, it's all a myth!!

Hang in there!! Don't throw away all that you've achieved so far!!
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Old 09-15-2014, 11:09 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Happy Birthday
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Old 09-15-2014, 04:26 PM   #14 (permalink)
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I hope you had a good sober birthday Eric.

Quote:
I honestly don't know how to "celebrate" a birthday without getting drunk as hell and snorting up all the pills I can get my hands on.
yeah it's weird how we see self-destruction as celebration.

I didn't know any other way to celebrate either...but I learned

It starts with one different decision, a choice to go a different way today

D
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Old 09-15-2014, 04:29 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Happy Birthday! Wishing you a sober celebration with your friends that you get to remember tomorrow, on your 68th day.
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Old 09-15-2014, 04:33 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Eric the 'high' is never worth the coming down. I hope you made it through without caving - you did a good thing by posting about your feelings. Happy Birthday & many more healthy ones to come.
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Old 09-15-2014, 05:52 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Thanks for the encouragement and kind words everyone! I'm still clean and sober even though I got to spend a few hours at the DMV today. Now I just finished a ridiculously sized diner and am stuffed and happy. I think I'll fight the sugar cravings from booze with some cake and ice cream later then attempt to get some sleep.... well even though the insomnia that went away for a while came back full force.


Here's to a clean, sober and happy 30's!
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Old 09-15-2014, 06:01 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Thats fantastic news - happy birthday Eric

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Old 09-15-2014, 06:41 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Woohoo!!!!!
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Hope is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
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Old 09-16-2014, 12:26 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Woo hoo! Way to go Eric
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