Nuudawn

So..it dawns on my yesterday.

I have formed a wee bit of a sober community with my little AA homegroup. Some of you may know I attend one meeting a week..and I have made that my homegroup. Last week I thought..hey, I think I better get myself a sponsor and attempt these heavenly steps many have promised as almost mystical and magical..

One of the gals I met there (whom I actually also knew a bit back in the day..her older brother more so)... well, her and I have struck up a bit of a recovery friendship and we "touch base" when we can. Additionally, I chose a lady in my homegroup with 10 years of sobriety but who has recently moved here to my city with her husband (also in program and in my homegroup). They seem like lovely people and in all honesty, I kind of thought our sponsor/sponsee relationship would be good for us as both as she doesn't know too many folks here too well.

Anyhoo...we are in the process of getting to know one another. And again, part of this relationship is "staying connected"...

So!
It dawns on me...if I were to decide to go back drinking, geezus...THESE PEOPLE would know. I'd have to slink away and perhaps have to deak away from them in grocery stores and malls...

It's not just a matter of closing up my laptop and disappearing from SR...

Dammit.

Those sneaky buggers...

Soberwolf

is everything ok ?

melki

Looks like it's going to work out just fine. Happy for you!

Nuudawn

lol..sorry soberwolf. Yes. Absolutely.

trachemys

Sounds...Fabulous

closetlobster

I've just told one of my housemates that I'm quite close to that I've just referred myself to an alcohol recovery programme. Now I'm in the same position as you...no booze in my house...Sneeky, ain't it just!

whalebelow2

Oh no, they are very sneakily trying to help you.

Oh, the humanity!!!!

How dare they

closetlobster

I'm livid at the amount of support a little honesty can give you! LIVID!!

Hevyn

Who knew they'd be so devious?

Nuudawn

This confounds me Lobster. Not sure what you mean.

closetlobster

I was being silly - sarcastic as if them being sneeky and aware of your addiction was a negative thing

jdooner

We suck your blood and have secret handshakes too, lol!

I am happy to hear your pursuing your steps - I found them to be quite useful.

It really sounds like you are doing well Nu - good for you, you deserve it!

And we don't even sell anything but hope...oh man those buggers.

Kaneda8888

Aaah me....accountability. Those devilish AA folks

ccam1973

Got to love the hidden agenda. Glad you are doing well Nu.

Nuudawn

Oh I like you!

Nuudawn

Ed Zackley!! Actually someone pm'ed after I posted to ask if I wasn't bothered by the "monitoring" aspect as these folks were "without credentials" as they said... Apologies, for bringing it up here (friend who privately mailed) but I think you raised a valid concern.

I too once really "shook my head" a bit about the whole sponsor/sponsee relationship...but well, as far as my sponsor seems so far. She is no sort of dictator and does not strike me as the sort who "gets off" by being the boss of someone (I do think that exists...as we addicts tend to have some control issues). So far...she just strikes me as a concerned friend who has lived a decade sober and knows far more about the "program" than I do.

I have been studying "addiction" for a few years now. It's like a hobby and it is very pertinent to my business of weight loss. What I learned in my years working for corporate weight loss ...well, ya know what works?

Support, accountability and coaching... someone in your corner who has walked the walk...

My participation in AA is very concentrated..and well, quite limited to the folks in my "homegroup"... I committed to one meeting..once a week.

And ya know what happened? Instead of hitting meeting after meeting..going round and round looking for a homegroup...looking for a sponsor...trying to figure it all out...going round and round and round as I did back in 2006/2007...never getting close to anyone.

I picked one meeting.
I picked one group.
One funky little group who didn't seem like the others...at all.

And geepers, didn't my choice to go "small"...result in...."community".

And I had an "aha" moment.

People can heal in the caring community of others who understand.
I like it small and funky and a bit odd.. a band of lovely misfits. I am the newcomer at not even 3 months continuous sobriety. Some fellow who "transferred" to our group just recently..to make it like a total of hmmm.. 7 people maybe...celebrated 30 years last night. He was an eloquent speaker. Something about that man makes me feel safe... he's like some sort of "recovery dad". It's awesome. He is not pushy or overbearing..he is just a lovely soul.

Last night our little meeting was full to bursting as folks were there who need the guy celebrating 30 years. It was really odd...as we are largely..unpopular. But someone came up to me who had noticed me at various meetings before I met my homegroup..just to say "hey..didn't think you were around..I never see you!". I had to tell him..well, that's cuz I only come here. I was braced for a wagging finger telling me I needed to him more meetings..but there wasn't one. Turns out he was the sponsee of the fellow celebrating 30 years...

Anyhoo...I certainly realize AA is not for everyone. It wasn't for me...and then I changed my mind.

It is NOT the only way.
Right now..it's working for me... in a tiny little community way.

Sorry for the long post...I just wanted to share something I have found surprising.

AA is not my whole life..and I hope it never will be. But I sure like what I have so far.

Soberpotamus

I'm happy you found your niche in that one group, Nuu How exciting! I wished for this very thing. But became disillusioned with the meetings I attended very quickly. It might be a cultural difference, I'm in the south. Who knows.

Nuudawn

In all honesty...I feel like I might have just got lucky. Had I not found this group...I have a strong feeling I would have given up on the whole thing (AA ...not sobriety). No...I KNOW I would have.

EndGameNYC

This thread makes me want to use a word I've never used in a sentence, 'legerdemain', and another word I've used maybe three times in my life, 'skullduggery'. After all, what kind of a person would deny him- or her- self a bit of frivolous hocus pocus'?

izzy8

I found a group that I absolutely loved. But, I stopped going bc it would have been too complicated to mix social circles ... (long... probably silly story... ). I'm so happy to hear anytime someone finds the support they need. Sounds great for you and I agree, that sneaky accountability might be pretty helpful after all .