Struggling with guilt and shame
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
Struggling with guilt and shame
I had 8 months of sobriety before I had a two day relapse in July. Now I am coming up to 2 months sober.
I am struggling with guilt and shame.
My parents were on holiday when I relapsed and my dad decided to cut his holiday short even though I asked him not to. I still feel really bad about this.
I am really trying to put things right. I am unemployed and applying for jobs. I am starting two courses: one on interview skills and cv preparation and the other on clerical skills. I am not drinking and I am eating well.
What I did keeps playing and replaying in my mind.
I am struggling with guilt and shame.
My parents were on holiday when I relapsed and my dad decided to cut his holiday short even though I asked him not to. I still feel really bad about this.
I am really trying to put things right. I am unemployed and applying for jobs. I am starting two courses: one on interview skills and cv preparation and the other on clerical skills. I am not drinking and I am eating well.
What I did keeps playing and replaying in my mind.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
I think there comes a time you need to accept that what happened happened Tetra.
You can't undo it, or go back and redo it, so you need to make your peace with it.
As for others...if they are actively contributing to you feeling guilty by reminding you of it, you need to tune them out.
If it's just you making yourself ashamed I think you really need to get over it.
You're doing everything right now. That's something to be proud of. Congrats on 2 months!
Your dad chose to cut his holiday short - you didn't make him....and to be honest I'm still not sure why he felt he had to.
D
You can't undo it, or go back and redo it, so you need to make your peace with it.
As for others...if they are actively contributing to you feeling guilty by reminding you of it, you need to tune them out.
If it's just you making yourself ashamed I think you really need to get over it.
You're doing everything right now. That's something to be proud of. Congrats on 2 months!
Your dad chose to cut his holiday short - you didn't make him....and to be honest I'm still not sure why he felt he had to.
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Berwick
Posts: 128
You could try telling your Dad how bad you feel and that your sorry for how things played out.
In my humble opinion, sweeping stuff under the rug is a very bad idea.
Just don't be attached to the response you get, that is beyond your control. But it is very seldom the response we think we will get.
The human ability to forgive is an astonishing thing.
Besides, you will have swept off YOUR side of the street and I promise you, you will feel greatly relieved afterwards.
If your Dad is not an alcoholic, then he isn't going to drink over it. But if guilt, shame and remorse is left to fester in you, you might.
Be brave and say something to your Dad. He loves you enough and was a good enough bloke to cut short a holiday, why would he not be a decent bloke about a little apology?
In my humble opinion, sweeping stuff under the rug is a very bad idea.
Just don't be attached to the response you get, that is beyond your control. But it is very seldom the response we think we will get.
The human ability to forgive is an astonishing thing.
Besides, you will have swept off YOUR side of the street and I promise you, you will feel greatly relieved afterwards.
If your Dad is not an alcoholic, then he isn't going to drink over it. But if guilt, shame and remorse is left to fester in you, you might.
Be brave and say something to your Dad. He loves you enough and was a good enough bloke to cut short a holiday, why would he not be a decent bloke about a little apology?
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