Hello folks
 

so I was looking through some old photo albums earlier this evening. Many of the photos are of drinking parties. At first I was laughing at all the pics of myself but then I started to remember how I felt in those moments and the embarrassing things I did at those parties. It left me feeling so anxious and scarred. Just how I felt after I ended up beating someone up while I was drunk. Then I noticed how I took a picture with every person I met up with n I thought to myself how much of a fake person I really was. Acting like I actually cared about those people by giving them hugs and taking a pic with them. Now I'm thinking if I saw any of those people now I wouldn't even bother with a hello bc I don't know them. Maybe I'm over thinking things. They are only pictures after all, maybe I shouldn't stress any of the past too much. Maybe I should get rid of the pics. Idk. I just really hate how anxious it left me it's not going away and I feel like I can barley breathe. I've been sober for 21 months now. Just when I think I'm over all the crazy feelings I find new ways to give myself anxiety lol. Nts don't look at old pics for a while....

Hi there. While I haven't had that particular experience (yet), I do want to applaud you on your sober time. That's great! I think you should focus that you are taking care of yourself in the present, and try not to dwell on what has already passed. Maybe do something rewarding and relaxing for yourself so you can enjoy and recognize what great achievements you have been making.

Great on 21 months. Alcohol definitely makes us someone that we arent. I honestly dont recognize myself when i was drinking. I dont even look like myself in those drunk picture, literally. It is like its someone else

You are doing great. Don't let the memories of the past drag you down. Today is who you are.

congrats on 21 months :D
I have a box full of old pics from raves and parties too. I flipped through them when I had to move...90% of them had booze in them. And like you, some had people in them I had no idea who the hell they even are!
Those pics are now in a shoebox. I didn't throw them out, but they are put away :)

I'm glad you're doing well.

I think it's surprising how much we change in recovery. I agree with Jups. Maybe you don't want to throw the photos away yet, but putting them out of sight could be helpful.

photos photos photos my hubby has a bunch that he was going to burn I stopped him for they had family that is long gone some of grands that these are the only photos of the ladies and gents.. all drinking up a storm he has regrets I tell him show the grand kids and tell them how not to do this for alot of problems follow family line to family line.. love to you all.. kiddo just put them aside and do some new ones of the life that is today.. and in time they will over shadow the feelings of the past.. love a hippy from the 1960's

The past is the past and your not the same person. Congrats on 21 months! I always felt like I was a different person when I was drinking. I would trash them and move on.

21 Months is fantastic!! :You_Rock_

well done on 21 months