On the brink
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
On the brink
Hello, I haven't posted in a long time. I found a period of sobriety last time I was on here, but some upset on the site made me retreat and use it as an excuse to start drinking again.
I found a boyfriend who I loved, but for some reason the pressure of the relationship had me drinking a lot more - maybe I was trying to be the perfect happy girlfriend. I have a back pain thing and have managed to get myself a regular tramadol prescription, so now I am hooked on two things.
I got promoted, i have an important job - I have to get up shortly and I drank wine an hour ago.
I am a complete mess, I don't know how to stop - when it was just booze it was easier, but the combination has made me insane.
I found a boyfriend who I loved, but for some reason the pressure of the relationship had me drinking a lot more - maybe I was trying to be the perfect happy girlfriend. I have a back pain thing and have managed to get myself a regular tramadol prescription, so now I am hooked on two things.
I got promoted, i have an important job - I have to get up shortly and I drank wine an hour ago.
I am a complete mess, I don't know how to stop - when it was just booze it was easier, but the combination has made me insane.
Failure Is Not An Option
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Carmichael, CA
Posts: 244
Hello Daisy 1,
I'm sorry to hear your struggling. For what it's worth, this is what I suggest. Start with baby steps.
Step 1 - stop drinking.
Step 2 - prepare yourself for withdrawal
Step 3 - gather your coalition (M.D., support group(s), therapist, family, friends) to help see you through what's ahead.
It is what it is. You recognize you must change your situation. Specifically, the combination of drugs & drink aren't working for you, but against you. Give in and resign yourself to do what must be done. Hopefully, there will not be any "upset" on SR.
Focus on getting through today. Worry about tomorrow tomorrow. Doing something is always better than doing nothing.
I'm sorry to hear your struggling. For what it's worth, this is what I suggest. Start with baby steps.
Step 1 - stop drinking.
Step 2 - prepare yourself for withdrawal
Step 3 - gather your coalition (M.D., support group(s), therapist, family, friends) to help see you through what's ahead.
It is what it is. You recognize you must change your situation. Specifically, the combination of drugs & drink aren't working for you, but against you. Give in and resign yourself to do what must be done. Hopefully, there will not be any "upset" on SR.
Focus on getting through today. Worry about tomorrow tomorrow. Doing something is always better than doing nothing.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 479
Hi, Daisy.
I too am sorry to hear that you are struggling. I think Resolv gave you some pretty great advice! You mentioned that this site has been helpful to you in the past, so maybe it's time to stick around and post more and share your struggle with us. I want you to succeed and believe you can do it. I believe baby steps are the best way to tackle something that is difficult and seemingly overwhelming to us. You got this!
I too am sorry to hear that you are struggling. I think Resolv gave you some pretty great advice! You mentioned that this site has been helpful to you in the past, so maybe it's time to stick around and post more and share your struggle with us. I want you to succeed and believe you can do it. I believe baby steps are the best way to tackle something that is difficult and seemingly overwhelming to us. You got this!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
welcome back daisy.
yup, first things first - stop drinking. Pour out the wine if there is any left.
Focus on today. Are you able to take time off work, even a few days?
I'd also consider seeing a Dr. since you're taking meds and booze together, not a good combo
please stick around again, hopefully we can help.
yup, first things first - stop drinking. Pour out the wine if there is any left.
Focus on today. Are you able to take time off work, even a few days?
I'd also consider seeing a Dr. since you're taking meds and booze together, not a good combo
please stick around again, hopefully we can help.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Welcome back Daisy. Good to see you're still looking for your sober path.
Since there is only one way to stop drinking (you stop pouring alcohol in your mouth) I assume what you actually mean here is that you don't know how to be happily sober.
The diverse community here at SR proves there are many paths to that goal. Many of us have found our way to a happy sober life. None of us found it while we were drinking. Put the bottle away and work on the rest.
You can do this.
Originally Posted by daisy1 
I don't know how to stop.
The diverse community here at SR proves there are many paths to that goal. Many of us have found our way to a happy sober life. None of us found it while we were drinking. Put the bottle away and work on the rest.
You can do this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
Thankyou all, and hello soberwolf ❤️.
I can't take time off work, I work for a British nhs hospital - more than three episodes of sickness in three months, no matter if you have a sick note or hospitalised, you get sacked ( in my hospital anyway).
I've seen my dr in the past and he just shrugged and said stop drinking - take a look at the page for the united kingdoms detox centres on this site - there isn't any help easily available.
I can't do it!
I can't take time off work, I work for a British nhs hospital - more than three episodes of sickness in three months, no matter if you have a sick note or hospitalised, you get sacked ( in my hospital anyway).
I've seen my dr in the past and he just shrugged and said stop drinking - take a look at the page for the united kingdoms detox centres on this site - there isn't any help easily available.
I can't do it!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: FPO
Posts: 119
Resolv has great ideas, Daisy. You will need help. The clarity of life takes some getting used to, but it's like a new prescription with glasses - things seem off and a bit strange at first, but then you are thankful to see clearer and farther ahead. Big hugs and prayers for you!
Beth
Beth
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Manchester
Posts: 104
Hi Daisy,
I can relate to a lot of what your saying.
There comes a point in every drinkers life, where we make a choice.
We choose to drink every night and day until the alcohol eventually kills us, where by everyone says "if only they had stopped drinking, they knew they had a problem".
or
You make it your mission in life to do whatever is necessary and I do mean whatever, to stop and stay stopped drinking.
Daisy you have to start taking the hits in life. You have to keep going forward, instead of reaching for the bottle and hoping it goes away, but thats the con that we have be sold. Alcohol doesnt drown your sorrows, it only lets you forget about them for a little while, instead of dealing with them.
You just have to start taking some hits and yes you will get beat the ground by life a lot, but you got to bounce back up, thats how winning is done.
Don't let me or anyone on here or even in the real world tell you anything that makes you start drinking again. Just snap you fingers and say "Not this time" and move on.
Good luck, you can do this.
I can relate to a lot of what your saying.
There comes a point in every drinkers life, where we make a choice.
We choose to drink every night and day until the alcohol eventually kills us, where by everyone says "if only they had stopped drinking, they knew they had a problem".
or
You make it your mission in life to do whatever is necessary and I do mean whatever, to stop and stay stopped drinking.
Daisy you have to start taking the hits in life. You have to keep going forward, instead of reaching for the bottle and hoping it goes away, but thats the con that we have be sold. Alcohol doesnt drown your sorrows, it only lets you forget about them for a little while, instead of dealing with them.
You just have to start taking some hits and yes you will get beat the ground by life a lot, but you got to bounce back up, thats how winning is done.
Don't let me or anyone on here or even in the real world tell you anything that makes you start drinking again. Just snap you fingers and say "Not this time" and move on.
Good luck, you can do this.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: London
Posts: 204
Oh honey.
you can do it. you have to find the strength!
go to work tomorrow & take a walk after work along that beautiful Dorset coast & let the sea air calm you.
you already know the choices you have to make & the actions you have to do.
be strong. do it.
x
you can do it. you have to find the strength!
go to work tomorrow & take a walk after work along that beautiful Dorset coast & let the sea air calm you.
you already know the choices you have to make & the actions you have to do.
be strong. do it.
x
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Welcome back Daisy 
Coming back here is a great start
I hear you when you say you can't take time off work...but if you continue on as you have been you'll very likely be sacked anyway - if not worse.
Most hospitals I've heard of have help for employees who are addicted. Can you look into that?
What about recovery groups? AA, SMART, LifeRing?
D
Coming back here is a great start
I hear you when you say you can't take time off work...but if you continue on as you have been you'll very likely be sacked anyway - if not worse.
Most hospitals I've heard of have help for employees who are addicted. Can you look into that?
What about recovery groups? AA, SMART, LifeRing?
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
If you doctor doesn't take your addiction seriously as well as potential withdrawal, sack him. The key is with a doctor, they can help you detox safely.
Worst come to shove, on your days off / weekend, get to the ER and tell them you want to detox. If you put enough sugar on the story they can keep you for 48 hours and monitor you.
But one thing is sure, you can do this and we are all rooting for you.
Worst come to shove, on your days off / weekend, get to the ER and tell them you want to detox. If you put enough sugar on the story they can keep you for 48 hours and monitor you.
But one thing is sure, you can do this and we are all rooting for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
I worked in my ER for years, I would have to show up in a different one - although I've worked as an agency nurse in the entire south west so I would likely know them too.
My hospital is nasty and everyone is hiding illness because truly, if they decide you aren't fit for purpose they get rid of you. I've only just been promoted and if I left now a brand new service would fail, I really have to carry on for now - maybe in October I will book some leave.
But yes I will be sacked anyway at this rate! I only had one bottle of wine last night, instead of my usual two and I was climbing the walls. So today I won't buy any and come on here all night, it's a start right?
No one knows, I keep slim and my skin isn't red or anything, however my hands are starting to shake and I have to take blood a lot so it's embarrassing, you're right I have to do something. Thanks guys xx
My hospital is nasty and everyone is hiding illness because truly, if they decide you aren't fit for purpose they get rid of you. I've only just been promoted and if I left now a brand new service would fail, I really have to carry on for now - maybe in October I will book some leave.
But yes I will be sacked anyway at this rate! I only had one bottle of wine last night, instead of my usual two and I was climbing the walls. So today I won't buy any and come on here all night, it's a start right?
No one knows, I keep slim and my skin isn't red or anything, however my hands are starting to shake and I have to take blood a lot so it's embarrassing, you're right I have to do something. Thanks guys xx
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 166
I always drank for the same reasons as you daisy1, life often feels unbearable for me sober. I guess for me I had to accept that a lot of things in life will always get me down, even on a daily basis but the reality is life will always get a lot worse in the long run with alcohol. With addiction you will always be walking in the dark, without it you won't always walk in the light but you'll certainly get a good sun tan :-)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
I like that maverickspoint :-). Last time I managed three months sober and although I started enjoying life more in many ways, a lot of things from the past kept flashing through my head. But you are right, life does have bad days, and I did cope with things better - I remember crying about a dead badger on the roadside (which I see all the time here in the country, sad but doesn't make me cry) but coping far better with things like annoying people in supermarkets and work etc.
Beth thanks for asking xx My day hasn't been great, I've been in a very bad mood. I don't think people knew but I was thinking really irritable thoughts towards them. Tramadol is making my moods swing terribly, I'm just wondering if I ought to ditch them first :-/ - or can I do both at the same time? Or am I trying to persuade myself to have a drink? Arghh xxx
Beth thanks for asking xx My day hasn't been great, I've been in a very bad mood. I don't think people knew but I was thinking really irritable thoughts towards them. Tramadol is making my moods swing terribly, I'm just wondering if I ought to ditch them first :-/ - or can I do both at the same time? Or am I trying to persuade myself to have a drink? Arghh xxx
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