DeltaBravo

I've gone days without drinking only to slip up and slide back into it. There have been several days where I was so strong and the thought of drinking didn't cross my mind. I've recently had so many slips and slides down this slope. How do I say no to myself? I've said no to other people...but to myself...how do I do that?

PurpleKnight

Willpower only goes so far, our addictive mind will soon wear it out and win the day!!

I could convince myself of anything in isolation, my mind wanted to drink, there was no one arguing with it and so I drank!!

Having support was the key to getting outside of my own thoughts, something to give a second opinion on things, short circuit my own thought processes, reaching out either here on SR or to other options BEFORE drinking can be very important!!

Support in recovery can be the Kryptonite of the alcoholic mind!!

Nonsensical

Same process.

My addiction is a liar living in my head. I can't wish it away. I can't think it away. It doesn't know morality, shame, fear, or remorse. It can't be educated, bargained with, reasoned with, or (above all) believed. It wants only one thing - alcohol. It will tell me anything it can think of to get me to drink. I tell it no.

You can do this.

aborkie

I could never say no to myself, until one day I had a very compelling desire to stop drinking for health reasons. Look for your reasons to stop and focus hard on that.

Mountainmanbob

A sign of maturing and growing up
Saying no to the flesh
MM

Soberwolf

By saying no I don't drink no more more and get a plan going to help with the support you get on here

You can do this !

AnvilheadII

by committing to not drinking again ever NO MATTER WHAT.
no excuses, no back doors, no reservations.
100% commitment. even when you don't wanna.

freshstart57

I decided it wasn't going to be about saying no to myself, about self denial. I made it into saying yes to me, and to my life, saying yes to making it worth living.

While I had been drinking my face off for years, I had been denying myself physical health, a good night's sleep, the freedom to drive a car at any time of day, a healthy marriage, good job performance, all sorts of things. I had also been denying myself self-respect and the respect of other people whose opinions matter to me. I used to be good at all sorts of things, but I was not good at anything anymore. I knew I could feel like that again, but only if I quit drinking. No more self denial, I was going to say yes for a change.

As for those thoughts about drinking, I don't say no to them or yes, I just let them be there, all by themselves. I look at them, stare at them even, until they get smaller and stupider and then blow away.

Altoids

THIS!!! Say YES to your new sober life.

Imabuleva

AVRT + SR + goals that I can only achieve sober seem to be working for me this time around.

airwick

Simple, yet somewhat difficult. You say "no'

VikingGF

For me, it was identifying the addictive voice in my head and realizing it was not me. If it were, I would not have been arguing with myself. Pretty quickly after learning that, the voice quieted down. Realize that you want to stop, and pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!

Eddiebuckle

Until you can see sobriety as the reward rather than punishment, it will remain a struggle.

Dee74

Like others have said, saying no to myself didn't really cut it...because sometimes (most times) I said yes.

I had to commit to absolutely taking the option of drinking off the table...however uncomfortable or angry that made me.

I built up a good support network and I made sure I used it before I drank again.

Some the effort required to do that was phenomenal - but not impossible.

Connect yourself here DB - join some threads...post daily or more than daily - *especially* when you feel you don'lt need to..

Put recovery at the forefront of your mind and your consciousness - things will change

D

music1987

I have found myself dreading the weekends because I know I cant say no to myself. It is like a damaging slide I hate going down, but i dont have a choice. At the bottom I feel shame, I get a sick feeling when I think about checking my CC statement and then i spend a week beating myself up only to do it again. Joining SR today has given me hope. Reading around has allowed me see that im not alone on this roller coaster

Dee74

I'll try to be more brief

My advice is don't even have a conversation with yourself.
Don't engage those thoughts.

Think of a plan - things to do, people to call - when you have those thoughts, and you'll get through them

D

neferkamichael

DeltaBravo, it is a skill you learn. Make a commitment and honor it, rootin for ya.

Nuudawn

I agree with Dee in that we shouldn't engage with the craving..or thought..desire to drink. When my mind starts thinking a drink would be a good idea..that's when I go into red alert. That's when we need to go into action to battle the idea..thought..desire..craving.

JasonNorth

You have to take some time out from your usual weekend activities & friends.

Do something different. go visit an elderly relative you haven't seen for ages. clean your house. go running or go to the gym. get through one or two weekends without your friends & then come back when you have a stronger resolve & tell them you're doing a 30 day detox or something. that's what i told my friends. "I'm doing a detox & avoiding alcohol to get my six pack for my holiday in February."

LBrain

I could never say no to myself, until one day I had a very compelling desire to stop drinking for life reasons. Look for for your reasons to stop and focus hard on that.

Until the desire to stop is stronger than any excuse you can imagine, you will not stop. No amount of education, philosophy, religion, or program is useful in aiding someone to stop drinking unless their desire (commitment) is paramount to all else.

Regardless of what anyone suggests or advises as a means to get and stay sober, until one grasps that reality they are just spinning their wheels.