Are you ok?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,358
I'm okay now, courage. I have flopped back and forth in this past week. Never really "not okay" but pretty sad at times. There are some very unhealthy things happening at work and it saddens me. Thank you for the reminder that asking for help is a sane thing to do.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Today I am filled with ambivalence. I truly feel I was on an early pink cloud for lack of better term - newly sober, making changes. I suppose the enthusiastic beginner sums it up.
Daily, it seems all I hear and see in meetings is relapse discussion which then get me into the "Thinking" mode leading me to look at probabilities of success. I think we all know the statistics of long term sobriety and it depresses me.
Frankly, I am so impulsive by nature - always have been. MAJOR flaw. Now, I am wondering if my sobriety is just another fad in a long list of fad's
It's tough for me because I had run the gauntlet over many years with zero legal/law hassles, still married for 31 years etc. My youngest went to college recently and that level of accountability - Dad you're a drunk - has been removed.
I have been lonely in a relationship with a woman who doesn't seem to care about anything other than puppies and babies.....so to speak. The cute part of life - the maturity of an 18 year old woman at 55 years old.
So, I am soberly ambivalent today - sadly.
Not sure a pint of ice cream will pull me out....I am sure tomorrow will be better though and have no intention of greeting the devil rum.....TODAY
peace
Daily, it seems all I hear and see in meetings is relapse discussion which then get me into the "Thinking" mode leading me to look at probabilities of success. I think we all know the statistics of long term sobriety and it depresses me.
Frankly, I am so impulsive by nature - always have been. MAJOR flaw. Now, I am wondering if my sobriety is just another fad in a long list of fad's
It's tough for me because I had run the gauntlet over many years with zero legal/law hassles, still married for 31 years etc. My youngest went to college recently and that level of accountability - Dad you're a drunk - has been removed.
I have been lonely in a relationship with a woman who doesn't seem to care about anything other than puppies and babies.....so to speak. The cute part of life - the maturity of an 18 year old woman at 55 years old.
So, I am soberly ambivalent today - sadly.
Not sure a pint of ice cream will pull me out....I am sure tomorrow will be better though and have no intention of greeting the devil rum.....TODAY
peace
p***enger
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,021
Thanks for checking in, Fnb. Do I know you in the face-to-face world? Are we related? Oh, that's right, you're just an alcoholic, like me.
That impulsiveness -- that's a nice word for it. I've been called everything from willful to sociopathic. Son leaving home for college? Totally scary, you have my complete compassion. Lonely in a relationship? ...my loneliness knows no bounds, but it's little to do with my spouse, it's more to do with my gigantic need to be loved.
But don't pay too much attention to the statistics. Did you know I'm something of a statistician? Really! And in terms of alcoholism, there's really not that much that they tell you that's useful.
What I know, absolutely, is that today, it's better for you and me both to be sober.
That impulsiveness -- that's a nice word for it. I've been called everything from willful to sociopathic. Son leaving home for college? Totally scary, you have my complete compassion. Lonely in a relationship? ...my loneliness knows no bounds, but it's little to do with my spouse, it's more to do with my gigantic need to be loved.
But don't pay too much attention to the statistics. Did you know I'm something of a statistician? Really! And in terms of alcoholism, there's really not that much that they tell you that's useful.
What I know, absolutely, is that today, it's better for you and me both to be sober.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 38
I cannot mention for me that it is not about stats either. But just having someone ask you "are you ok" can make a world of difference. Especially your spouse. And you really can only do it for your children so many times. So courage thank you for this thread and FNB I pray that we get that support from our significants. Both of you please stay sober. If it were not for SR and my sister I would not have made 28 days. Under the right circumstances it can be done and I hope to follow you someday.
Aloha.
NOT sober808
Aloha.
NOT sober808
p***enger
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,021
Originally Posted by sober808 
I have realized I have poor coping skills.
Then we quit the booze and sometimes we add the coping skills rage, bingeing, self-pity ....
It's not easy to get sober. Or pretty, often. But you can be ok, sober808.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by courage2
Thanks for checking in, Fnb. Do I know you in the face-to-face world? Are we related? Oh, that's right, you're just an alcoholic, like me.
That impulsiveness -- that's a nice word for it. I've been called everything from willful to sociopathic. Son leaving home for college? Totally scary, you have my complete compassion. Lonely in a relationship? ...my loneliness knows no bounds, but it's little to do with my spouse, it's more to do with my gigantic need to be loved.
But don't pay too much attention to the statistics. Did you know I'm something of a statistician? Really! And in terms of alcoholism, there's really not that much that they tell you that's useful.
What I know, absolutely, is that today, it's better for you and me both to be sober.
That impulsiveness -- that's a nice word for it. I've been called everything from willful to sociopathic. Son leaving home for college? Totally scary, you have my complete compassion. Lonely in a relationship? ...my loneliness knows no bounds, but it's little to do with my spouse, it's more to do with my gigantic need to be loved.
But don't pay too much attention to the statistics. Did you know I'm something of a statistician? Really! And in terms of alcoholism, there's really not that much that they tell you that's useful.
What I know, absolutely, is that today, it's better for you and me both to be sober.
Today, as is predictable - life seems more balanced and funkless! The lesson for me is simple = keep on truckin' and stay sober.
The full moon seems to bring out weird feelings in me I have noticed. Wonder if anyone else experiences this???
peace to us all....
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,449
I'm kinda "meh" today.
Just not a great day compared to how up and positive I've been. I got crap news re: my raise yesterday. I also found out the BF's car is gonna cost me more than I anticipated. BUT - I am the one who ruined it, so I have to pay for it. Financially I'm a bit screwed but I keep telling myself...it's ok. It'll be fine, and I know it will....just will take a few months to get back on track. and some creative budgeting in the meantime.
Just feel in a real funk.
Just not a great day compared to how up and positive I've been. I got crap news re: my raise yesterday. I also found out the BF's car is gonna cost me more than I anticipated. BUT - I am the one who ruined it, so I have to pay for it. Financially I'm a bit screwed but I keep telling myself...it's ok. It'll be fine, and I know it will....just will take a few months to get back on track. and some creative budgeting in the meantime.
Just feel in a real funk.
Gl@ss Artist & Cat Lady
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 880
Good one. I have always found it hard to ask for help. I don't want to seem weak or also sometimes worry what people will think of me. Also their reaction. I have gotten some negative reactions after asking for help. Like my husband not speaking to me for weeks, stuff like that. I feel like I disappointed someone (besides myself). Ugh!
I have reached out to a doctor and one friend. That's as good as I can do for now.
I have reached out to a doctor and one friend. That's as good as I can do for now.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Actually, I am great today, Thanks for asking
I am getting better at asking for help but only after I have exhausted my mind thinking about it. I still want to solve my own problems. There are times I know what I need to ask and who I need to ask but I procrastinate. I know I will probably see them at the meeting next week and figure I can catch them then instead of just picking up the damn phone. That sucka is SO heavy!
I just had a discussion with someone not long ago about asking and accepting help.
I don’t want to ask because I assume the other person will want something in return. Then I had to ask myself, “do I feel that way when I help someone?” and the answer is no so why in the heck do I assume that another person would feel that way.
I am so used to tit for tat relationships that it is taking a long time to get through my thick head that most people are not like that. They help because they can and they do not want anything in return or place a “you owe me” on a tally board.
I am making progress, slow progress, but progress!
I am getting better at asking for help but only after I have exhausted my mind thinking about it. I still want to solve my own problems. There are times I know what I need to ask and who I need to ask but I procrastinate. I know I will probably see them at the meeting next week and figure I can catch them then instead of just picking up the damn phone. That sucka is SO heavy!
I just had a discussion with someone not long ago about asking and accepting help.
I don’t want to ask because I assume the other person will want something in return. Then I had to ask myself, “do I feel that way when I help someone?” and the answer is no so why in the heck do I assume that another person would feel that way.
I am so used to tit for tat relationships that it is taking a long time to get through my thick head that most people are not like that. They help because they can and they do not want anything in return or place a “you owe me” on a tally board.
I am making progress, slow progress, but progress!
happy, joyous an free!
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: northeast
Posts: 693
full moon weirdness noted here too!
i wanted to thank you again courage for this thread. funny what will stick with you and resonates when you need it! i was not ok last night. and i did something that i've wanted to do for a long time.
i have much support going on - SR, meetings, therapy - yet i have really wanted and needed family face to face support. i've had many excuses not to seek this out: i don't want to burden or upset anyone, feeling a loss of control, not wanting to expose another person's issues which are a major part of my struggles, appearing weak, etc.
but last night i reached out and it was amazing. and i now have family face to face support. none of my fears manifested. it went well and will be easier next time i need to talk. and it proved helpful to her too!
so thank you again!
hope everyone is ok today. and if not tell someone! a burden shared is proving to be a burden lightened for me!
ps welcome to SR kendrasfriend! it's an awesome place!
i wanted to thank you again courage for this thread. funny what will stick with you and resonates when you need it! i was not ok last night. and i did something that i've wanted to do for a long time.
i have much support going on - SR, meetings, therapy - yet i have really wanted and needed family face to face support. i've had many excuses not to seek this out: i don't want to burden or upset anyone, feeling a loss of control, not wanting to expose another person's issues which are a major part of my struggles, appearing weak, etc.
but last night i reached out and it was amazing. and i now have family face to face support. none of my fears manifested. it went well and will be easier next time i need to talk. and it proved helpful to her too!
so thank you again!
hope everyone is ok today. and if not tell someone! a burden shared is proving to be a burden lightened for me!ps welcome to SR kendrasfriend! it's an awesome place!
p***enger
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,021
Jupiters, I'm sorry to hear your not-good news. Positive change will come in time -- that's one good thing about the wheel of fortune, is it will keep spinning. Stay open to it!
ElleDee, I'm glad you're reaching out to someone. It gets easier with practice.
GracieLou, I'm the same way with the phone! I hate the phone!
Yay!!!
ElleDee, I'm glad you're reaching out to someone. It gets easier with practice.
GracieLou, I'm the same way with the phone! I hate the phone!
a burden shared is proving to be a burden lightened for me!
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,628
Tikitiboo, courage, thanks, hope you are too and all my friends at SR.
Tomorrow may change but for now I'm in a good place, I want to keep all this feeling and positive ness and save to bring out on a down day.
Tomorrow may change but for now I'm in a good place, I want to keep all this feeling and positive ness and save to bring out on a down day.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 242
Love this topic. Because I do not like putting on a happy face, when I feel like crap. And saying, yes, I'm ok when I'm really not. I don't like to complain or whine, so I usually keep things bottled up, and we all know that's really unhealthy. So today, no, I'm not ok. $ is tight, looking for work, trying to make ends meet, etc. But I try to remember it can always be worse. Hoping and trying to work on things so it gets better. So funny this topic is, because recently I realised that I was truly a negative person. I've been trying positve affirmations every morning now, and trying to see the glass half full, rather then empty. So thanks so much for asking how I am. And sorry if its not what you want to hear. Life isn't always I'm ok, because life isn't that way. Great thread.
p***enger
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,021
Hey dingodog -- at least you have a super cool username! That's something to be grateful for. I'm glad you shared your woes. I'm terrified of being out of work, and if you're staying sober while struggling with financial worries and unemployment, you have more than my sympathy -- you have my respect & awe! 
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