jryan19982

I'm back because I failed. I started to hang around friends who drank and I did well for a little while. Then I figured its one night. And now I am back to be an everydayer...

I failed and I am not happy.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Jryan. Realizing the problem is a good first step, do you have a plan for this time around?

jryan19982

Working on a plan. Have a pounding head ache from yesterday (football and beer) so thinking is not my bight spot at the moment. I think it will involve some mix of staying at home with family watching football (and cooking since I love making football foods), and finding a meeting or two to go to.

PurpleKnight

Make today a new day 1, you can do this!!

I really had to accept that I was now a "non drinker", weddings, birthdays, Xmas, no matter what it was, I was now a non drinker like so many others out there, that 1st drink would spiral, maybe not on the first day, but with a few weeks I'd be back to the same volume of drinking!!

You can do this!!

Alynn

I can see where that temptation would be to much...

jryan19982

I hear that. I did great the first two times. Had one or two beers (at a slooowwwww pace) and then called it a night. Then that led to the next few times a few more, then a few more, then every day.

Its just really upsetting that I let almost 30 days go to waste. I was doing awesome too. Felt good, was being productive (mainly fixing up a quad) and was so impressed when things started to fall into place. Now it feels like I have to put the puzzle back together again.

jryan19982

The sad part was, that those friends applauded me for quitting... and no one really asked, are you sure? I guess I am a big boy, so no one should HAVE to ask. I think I have one of those friends to help me out though as he is thinking about stopping since his liver tests were high...

FreeOwl

maybe you didn't fail...

maybe what happened is you got yourself knocked back onto the path of True Success.

Jupiters

They aren't a waste though. So try not to think of them like that. Flip the switch. Find the positivity in this.
And while you may have to put the puzzle back together, those 30 days gave you insight as to where *some* of the pieces need to go.

Sulu1

There is no such thing as failure when you never give up.

jryan19982

Yeah I know you are right. That was very poor choice of words on my part. I can and will learn from this. And now I know kind of what to do and what not to do. I can learn from this...

Jupiters

I think it's just a natural part of us, we always see the negative first. It's like built into us for some reason - it takes hard work to flip that switch. Nobody warned me it would be WORK. lol

Soberwolf

Nice to meet you

Findingtheway

Don't think you've failed. Just look at what you do differently to get further this time.

I'm on day 12...I had 54 days a few months back. I'm going to surpass that this time.

Any sober day is not a failure in my book.

pakman

The fact that you are back here in SR is a sure sign that it's not a failure, but a new beginning. Give it go again!

Fly N Buy

Much like our obsession, the reality is this: yesterday is gone, and tomorrow is not here - sober is simply a today thing for all us. For those with 20 + years or 20+ days, makes no difference.

A daily reprieve is all we get. Sure, milestones are nice - but today is all any of us get and if we let pride get in our heads and stumble, the reality of getting back up becomes more difficult.

Get up, dust yourself off - learn, and keep trucking man.

peace

Anna

I hope you keep posting. Early recovery is tough. I wasn't able to be around alcohol or people drinking for a long time.

jryan19982

It sure is tough. Thanks for the all the well wishes.

SparkyMcSparky

And make sure you have a plan (at least one that doesn't involve drinking).

At some point you will again find yourself with friends who will be drinking. Even making "football food" at home may bring on the cravings. When this happens, what will you do? Will you be full of food, and have a case of club soda with you, or will you succumb to the hollow illusion of "I can just have one or two"?

Every time we fail, we learn. Every time we learn, we plan differently for the next time. Figure out what happened, and get a plan, man!

Best wishes.

jryan19982

For now, I will be watching football or hopefully Orioles playoff baseball with my family and kids. If I ask for alcohol not to be present my wife wont have any. But yes I see your point that eventually I will be out with friends watching football or baseball or whatever.

I think some sprite and OJ or cranjuice will do the trick.