suki44883

Chances are good that your parents already know more than you give them credit for knowing. In any case, we're talking about your life here. They deserve to know what is going on since you are living in their home.

So far as having a plan, the first step to a plan is not drinking again. Go see your doctor and be honest about your drinking and he/she can help you. Find an AA meeting, even if it means driving 15 miles, and go. You will be welcomed there and find a lot of people dealing with the same things you are. Find an addiction counselor. There are many things you can do for support.

SR is great online support, but face-to-face support is invaluable.

This bears repeating...We are talking about your life here.

robgt350

this is a good place to get support and help. it was for me.
good think you are right, that no one got hurt.

Sulu1

Welcome to SR

As others have said, a plan is vital, so it might be worth doing a bit of research on the various ways to abstain (AA,SMART, AVRT etc).

The good thing is that this situation need never happen again. In glad nobody was hurt, maybe it was the wake up call you need!

MelindaFlowers

When I was still drinking I was worried that if I told my parents that meant I couldn't drink again. I did not tell them so I always had that free pass in my back pocket to drink again without anybody noticing. When I finally decided to stop drinking I told my mom that I don't drink anymore. I also told my close friends. It was not a huge declaration or anything. I didn't even use the word "alcoholic." Just that I was not drinking anymore.

I say you have two choices:
1. Don't tell your parents and stop drinking
2. Tell your parents and stop drinking

The telling your parents part is about 1% as important as the stopping drinking part. After a few weeks or months they will probably ask and you can say "I don't drink anymore."

There is no grudge to hold against a non-drinker. The circus charades and destruction stop when the drinking stops. There will be no more horror stories to forgive or worry about. It really doesn't matter what you tell them. I didn't tell anyone until I had about a month away from drinking and I knew I was actually going to do it. I am a big believer in showing with our actions by not drinking. We can stand on our head, cry, throw shoes across the room but we just can't drink. Not ever.

There is really nothing to hold over your head if you're sober. Even if you did cause chaor while you drank, everyone will be relieved and happy that you don't drink and the memories of the chaos will quickly fade.

LBrain

Not wanting to burden your parents is okay. They may or may not have a grudge over it.

Not getting help when you know you need to and getting hurt or killed - I think they will have a grudge over that.

sprout50

All AA meetings are open to beginners as others here have said. The hard part, is getting yourself through the door the first time. But once you do, you will be pleasantly suprised at how welcoming an evironment it is. You can go online and find meetings. If your friend is willing to go with you, find a meeting that has an OD designation. This means open discussion and is open for non alcholics as well.

As for telling your parents or not, well, that is up to you. For me, admitting out loud that I was an alcoholic, took away the pretense. It was freeing and led to my family supporting me in my sober life.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum EJ!!

Sounds like it's time to get a plan together and start a new chapter to your life, a plan can be simple, not drinking is the goal, even if it's checking out SR each day, whatever it is I think you know things can't continue as they are!!

You can do this!!

Nuudawn

I am not sure what the relationship dynamic is with your parents as you mention a fear of them "holding a grudge against you". That seems well...unhealthy.

My drinking worried my family way, way, way more than my recovery EVER has. If you live with them...I'm thinking they are aware of your issue.

Sweetie what you have detailed here is incredibly serious business..as I'm sure you are aware. You "assaulted" your friend. If she was not your friend..or better, not that supportive and forgiving of a friend... you could be in jail right now.
You could have also gotten a DUI....or way worse, killed someone ..or an entire freaking family..someone's mommy or daddy..

You think admitting an alcohol problem is of greater risk to your mom's heart ..than being arrested or killing yourself or others behind a wheel?

Look at that above. Look at it! If you drink again ..all this can happen..and you are not willing to pull out ALL THE STOPS to prevent you from this behaviour ever again??

Honey..C'mon now. Man up. Take responsibility what happens when you ingest alcohol. Look at the monster that is summoned. Do you EVER want to toy with that beast again? I fear for everyone in your proximity if you this does not scare the hell out of you..that it does not make you do WHATEVER possible to NEVER drink again.

Sobriety is hard sweetie. It's awesome ..but it's hard. Please, please do whatever it takes.

Be honest with yourself and loved ones. Immediately.

anattaboy

Above all don't drink! Even if yer ass falls off! If it does pick it up, put in a bag and carry it to a meeting (or here). Can't tell you how many times I've heard that at my home group from one guy in particular but it stuck. Contact someone sober if the goin' gets rough. That's it--Congrats!

12345678900000

I am willing to do what I need to do. I'm just not quite ready to tell them. But I'm gonna go to some meetings thus weekend and I will tell them what's going on in a week or two. They have been planning a vacation for month's and are finally going this weekend. And I've put them through Hell the past few months so I want to wait and tell them after they get back. I don't want to tell them now cause they might decide to not go and they need a vacation.

awuh1

If you've put them through hell the past few months, telling them you're serious about dealing with this problem might be the greatest gift you could give them at this point. Just a thought.

Jupiters

from what you're saying, I'd bet anything they have a very good idea of what has been going on.
I hope you do get to some meetings ASAP and share your decision with them

melki

That's honourable. I agree with the previous posters though. No bigger gift you could give your parents than following through on sobriety right here, right now. That alcohol should be removed from the house while they're gone on vacation (if you're not ready to tell them, maybe give it to a friend for safekeeping?) Being alone in the house with booze is a recipe for trouble. Not ganging up on you, just speaking as a fellow in recovery. And a little as a parent.

Sasha4

Be really careful.
Let this be a wake up call.

The results of drinking can be deadly and long lasting and change your life forever.

There are many posters and adverts in the UK to warn people that getting drunk may make you do things that could kill or harm someone else and your life as you know it will be over.

It could be one deadly punch during a booze filled disagreement or fight, not taking no for an answer when being intimate with a girl or partner or driving whilst in a drunken blackout and killing someone or multiple people.

I remember being at an AA meeting and a lady was sharing her story. She said that she once came round from a blackout to find herself in her car, driving with her 3 kids in the back.
That scared the life out of me.

This is not just you because of your post believe me.
It could have happened to anyone of us.

Regarding your parents I totally understand.
Perhaps you could get your head together a bit, look at recovery methods, go to a few AA meetings then tell them.
It might be worth asking other young AA members how they told their parents and think how you will tell them.

I would say though that carrying on as you are and something horrendous happening (death, drunk driving etc) then this is more likely to devastate your parents forever more rather than you saying 'hands up, I have a problem with drink'.

The other thing to remember is that this is nothing to be ashamed of. Some people regard alcoholism as a disease no different to other chronic life time diseases.
It has been compared to an allergy too.
Maybe that might be worth reading up on so you know not to feel ashamed.

I'm glad you found us.
I hope you continue to come here and share and post.
In a way its good this has happened whilst you are young.
You have acknowledged your problem now while you are young. For some drinkers it takes loosing everything - friends, home, job, freedom, health, family - until they finally get it that they cannot drink.

I wish you the best xx

ghostdad

Speaking as a parent that's what we signed up for. Your not giving them a chance or much credit for that matter. We didn't have kids so life would be all rainbows and unicorns. I can tell you one thing is guaranteed - we hate surprises.

MelindaFlowers

If you stop drinking today then the rest will fade into the past and a new healthier life can begin.

I wouldn't worry so much about telling them. Just show them.

83mama0f2

Welcome. You will feel at home here! Keep coming and checking in. Were all in the same boat!

Altoids

How are you doing today, 1234...? Keep posting letting us know what is going on. We all care, and we will help and encourage you through this.

Taking5

Hello Pinson from a fellow Alabama dude. Roll Tide (or War Eagle if you prefer). As others have said, there are a ton of good meetings in Birmingham. I get up there on business on a regular basis and I am sure I could put you in touch with some people to get you "jump started" in AA if you'd like.

You should check out several different meetings if you want to try AA. I know there is a young person's AA group in Vestavia Hills (I don't qualify so I've never been).

Good luck and keep us posted.

Fly N Buy

Solid advice, well struck taking5!

EJ, is part of your concern about talking with your parents the fact you are still a teenager/underage??
Do your folks allow you to drink in their home>>>

I will go against the grain here somewhat I guess......perhaps check out some meetings and wrap your head around YOU. For many of us this is really the number one issue is attempting to figure out who oneself is.

Obviously you have remorse about a really bad thing you did putting those you care about, yourself and others unknown in peril. Many among us have done similar things.

Let's see a show of hands regarding arrests, jail time, domestic occurrences etc.....
The point is sometime we forget our pasts in throwing advice out. This is your life man, take ownership of who you are an not based on random posts....( including this one!) People are here to help - well, some. But folks with 20 or 30 posts stating emphatically here's what to do, makes me ill.

So, work towards forgiving yourself and someday making amends to your friend - in time. You will discover saying I am sorry is but a rudimentary start. Perhaps go to 10-12 AA meetings and discover two things:

Are you an alcoholic?
Or just a young man who did a stupid thing while drunk?

If you quit and start the relapse bounce game, you may scar more people, frankly. You need to be certain of the above - If you are truly alcoholic, you cannot have in the back of your mind - someday I will drink again, successfully - This time, I have learned my lesson.

These are some things to consider perhaps, as you move forward.

Peace to us all....