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Old 09-07-2014, 11:24 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Also... what about OUR kids?


For those of us who are parents who have struggled with addiction - how do we help our own children avoid what we went through?

I read an article today that chilled me;

Shawn Windsor: Popular campus combo killed former Michigan football manager Josh Levine | Detroit Free Press | freep.com

This is one more reason to honor sobriety; to help model the alternative for our kids and help engage them in a lifestyle early on that will hopefully empower them with better awareness, emotional foundation and choices to make the most of their lives instead of falling into the cycles we fell into.
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Old 09-07-2014, 11:30 AM   #2 (permalink)
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That's a horrific article, only 22yrs old, very sad!!
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Old 09-07-2014, 01:44 PM   #3 (permalink)
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It scares me this is attend in colleges

That poor family

22 ? Jeez what can you say
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Old 09-07-2014, 02:30 PM   #4 (permalink)
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It was important for me to be brutally honest about the alcoholism in our family to my four children. My husband's father drank himself to death at the age of 59 and his mother had very bad cirrhosis of the liver until she quit drinking about 10 years ago, my mother is an active alcoholic and her mother and her mother's mother had major issues with alcoholism. I was well on my way to being a "full blown" alcoholic, but seeing my mother's actions and feeling the terrible feelings of helplessness, held me back from the brink and I have been sober for almost a year. I refused to sweep things under the rug or deny what my children witnessed with the alcoholics in our family. I have always been extremely frank about what this illness is and how badly it has effected the very people we love. I have three teenaged sons and I have never once seen any of them under the influence. I am not na´ve enough to think that they have never nor will ever drink, but they are fully versed in alcoholism. I also hope that my husband and I are examples of living a healthy, loving, peaceful life. A lot of my drinking was escaping from the pain of a dysfunctional family of origin. Now, I get that every family has its dysfunction, but my children are not being raised in a chaotic, violent, controlling, shaming household, so I honestly don't think that they feel as much the need to "escape" as my sister and I did. There are no guarantees, but I am doing everything in my power for my children to have an entirely different experience than my husband and I had growing up.
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Old 09-07-2014, 03:34 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I'll be honest. I make sure I never have kids because I couldn't protect them. I know the first time they drank alcohol or did drugs of any kind they would start to be like me. After that it would take many years to get through to them about how terrible drugs and alcohol are because we all know it starts out good. I just couldn't live with myself if I passed on the misery of drug and alcohol addiction to my children.
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Old 09-07-2014, 03:43 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I think that people who are happy or at least peaceful inside of their own heads, don't really like to be "outside" of their own heads. Now that I am reaching a level of serenity and peaceful acceptance of myself and my life, I really don't want anything to take that feeling away. I want to be in control. So, my goal in raising my children has been to be loving, supportive and an aid in helping them to feel comfortable in their own skin, to respect themselves as sparks of God/creation and for them to look at others as the same, nothing more and nothing less.
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Old 09-07-2014, 04:07 PM   #7 (permalink)
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This is what keeps me up at night. I am beyond terrified for my two boys and they're only 4 & 5. I don't have an answer as my own parents never drank alcohol in our home. My dad recovered before I was born and my mom chose to abstain because of the devastation from alcohol she saw growing up. Both my brother and I are addicts - so I really don't know.

I want my boys to have the college experience but I am so darn scared - I remember all too well what college was like. It is my greatest hope that they'll never pick up a glass of booze because if they do I'm afraid they might not be able to ever put it down.
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Old 09-07-2014, 04:49 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lebroncavs View Post
I'll be honest. I make sure I never have kids because I couldn't protect them. I know the first time they drank alcohol or did drugs of any kind they would start to be like me. After that it would take many years to get through to them about how terrible drugs and alcohol are because we all know it starts out good. I just couldn't live with myself if I passed on the misery of drug and alcohol addiction to my children.
Wow... You won't have kids because you don't want to pass it on to them??? Sorry when has it been proven that addiction is genetic?? I feel sorry for you tbh having children is the most precious gift imaginable...
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Old 09-07-2014, 06:23 PM   #9 (permalink)
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When I look at my whole family and they have an addictive personality what should I expect for my children if I had them? I respect everyone's opinion on this subject but I won't change my mind on this issue.
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Old 09-07-2014, 08:00 PM   #10 (permalink)
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It has been proven to be genetic. On the short side of what I've read apparently when someone has the gene drinking releases more dopamine into the system which makes alcohol be x amount of times more addictive than people who don't carry the gene. I think that there is more than one.

I worry for my son, he is very young but I will talk to him about alcoholism when he gets older. I will do my best to make sure he doesn't go through what I did.

It's funny, I said I would never have children because of how i was raised and i didn't think i would be a good mother. I got pregnant and decided to have him and it has been a blessing. There is a decent chance of him becoming an alcoholic if genetics are a factor. I worry about it a lot. The best thing I can hope for is to remain sober and keep him well informed about alcohol. I was warned, I saw it first hand and I am an alcoholic. But as Double Dragons said, Brutal Honesty is the only way I see to try to prevent it happening to him and to live by example.
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Old 09-08-2014, 04:16 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I think that as with so many things, this is one of those things that - while genetic influence may be there - can be influenced heavily by surroundings and context.

That's not to say we can't do everything possible to empower our children and still see them struggle with addiction. I just think that I really need to take all the steps I can to help give them a better chance at avoiding some of my own struggles with addiction.

Thanks for sharing everyone.
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