missunhappy

Full stop. Never can do the social thing, im all or nothing, as with most you I guess.

Have blatant addiction problems, I do think anything that affects the dopamine neurotrasmitters of my brain makes life temporarily seem bearable...I have so much support within family but im too ashamed to go too deep about how bad it is, I have counselling, I see professionals regarding mental health there to help me but I cannot see the benefits of the help i recieve until I get rid of the alcohol problem...

I wish i'd sought help before I started drinking alcohol...im a person who keeps diaries & blogs. Its horrible to read back & see im still stuck in the cycle ive been in for the past 11 years. Telling myself I need to change...Ive been 18 months with pregnancies, 3 months. 1 month, about another 5 weeks or small spats of "going sober". The fact I make these attempts & return to patterns so fast its all so obvious now.

Im an alcoholic. I have a major problem. I joined earlier this year & made it 12 days after my first thread but WOW, how quickly did that result in me binging almost every night since. I read here all the time, as much as I dont want anyone else going through it, im glad to have found you & I feel this is the most understanding place I can turn to... Im so scared but I want sober now, no more of this... Im sick to death of it. Im rejoining soberness & im going to stay that way!

wichitaks

I like your post it's weird to realize one day that we are an alcoholic we hear the term but we never think that is us and one day realize that it is...

dSober

You want to find out what it is and fix it? Google "big book".

zoey09

I wrote a similar post earlier today, totally get where you're coming from. It's not as though I will die if u take another sip of a drink (although that's entirely possible).

The emotional hurricane. I go thru each time is exhausting... That's the part where I don't see myself being able to go thru it again. I've had enough "Day 1s" to last me a lifetime... Enough is enough at this point.

Here for you, let's be done with that cycle k?

Soberwolf

Well done you !

You can do it you know you got so much support here

ANewDayNYC

Thanks for your post - glad to see you are committed to sobriety. You can do it!

mimsy1

I'm new to recovery also. Making plans for handling the difficult times, and deep breathing, have helped me. You can do it!

DefconOne

Alcoholism is the systematic practice of alcohol abuse. Its a disease of the mind, body, and soul. The correct term for what we are is 'alcoholist' not 'alcoholic'. A lic is a dead corpse, perhaps that is where the term came from because practicing alcoholists will eventually die a horrible death. So at best it seems an alcoholic is someone who died from alcohol abuse. Some use the term 'lic' on the web as a short term for 'like I care' but we all care for other alcoholics here so that is another reason it doesn't apply. If you abandon alcohol and become sober, you become a teetotaler and practice teetotalism That of course comes from the idea that you prefer 'tea' to hard drink.

Anna

I'm so glad that you seem to be really ready to accept your alcoholism and therefore, be able to begin to deal with it. As you know from reading here, there are different methods of recovery, and there is always support here at SR.

IOAA2

Hi.
That statement can mean a lot in the pursuit of sobriety. We need self honesty about our drinking instead of denial along with accepting the fact we cannot drink in safety.
From now on action is required by not picking up the first drink and getting a program of support to develop into a way of life to allow emotional growth and happiness to enter.
It’s work but there is usually damage to repair.

BE WELL

Hevyn

Hi missunhappy. I'm glad you're ready to reclaim your life.

I was a slow learner too. I tried everything to hold on to drinking. I don't even know why, since it was never fun in the end. It became a habit I was afraid to let go of, & it never made me happy. It feels wonderful to be free of it. You can do this.

PurpleKnight

Yeap, once the penny finally dropped for me things got a lot more straight forward!!

Dee74

Welcome to SR missunhappy

D

Nuudawn

Totally understand what you are saying here...

And as far as your thread title? Yup. It's a bitter pill to swallow ain't it sister? In your dopamine deficient corner my friend...

Altoids

What Hevyn said. Pretty soon, after some sober time, maybe you can change your name to missHAPPY.

instant

In the end it has only been sobriety that has brought me the freedom I looked for in alcohol.

You can have it too. The first steps are the hardest

gratitude28

Thanks for this post - it is just what I needed to read. I "went back out" after ten years of sobriety. And I am struggling with life every day now. I need to go back to day one. Alcohol zaps any happiness from me and completely plunges me into depression. And I ask myself, why the hell would I drink it then? I'm ready to have my life back and sad that it is going to be hard to get straight again.
Grat

Croissant

sadly, I think the term "alcoholic" is our own worst enemy in that it deters us from seeing we have a problem. "Oh, I'm not that bad, I don't drink all day" - well, yeah, I would if I could, and I have.

Glad you made your way back, missunhappy!