Meraviglioso

Jeez, I can't seem to catch a break today, or maybe I am just having a day where I am fighting off cravings more. I don't know. Today I was doing some "social networking" via facebook for the business I run here. I have "liked" various pages via the business in order to interact with potential clients. We are a small agriturismo that produces olive oil and open our villa to people on vacation. So I have "liked" various food&wine pages, pages that focus on Italy, slow food, etc. In any case, I opened the page today and was scrolling down and every single post was from a magazine or page with a delicious plate of food and a dewy looking glass of white wine. I enjoyed red and white wine equally, but something about a photo or looking at a bottle in the store of white wine really sets something off inside me. I had to close the page and give it up for a while.

So I decided to take the kids out for haircuts. I took them to the usual spot which is located right next to a bar..... they were fully booked, so we left. A good thing I think. So then I decided to go to the shop to buy my son's books for the upcoming school year. This is his first year that we have to buy books, so I didn't know where to go. I finally found it, right across the street from another bar! Ugh. Got that done, skipping the bar thankfully, then headed to the fish monger. I go there regularly and it is just fish. Today though they had a special offering of white wine from a local producer and asked if I wanted some.... yes no yes no yes no yes no yes NO NO NO NO!

Stop stalking me AV and wine!

Sometimes the only place I feel safe is my own home. I know I can't avoid alcohol for the rest of my life, but days like this it is so annoying!

Now a question. I bought some mussels today, which I love but have always cooked with garlic, dried peppers, parsley and white wine. No white wine for me in this house. It is not having the wine in the food that gets me, it is opening the bottle and then having open wine in the house, I just can't do it yet. Does anyone have a tried and trusted replacement for white wine? I need some liquid in there to get the steam going? I feel like water would be too bland. I am not sure what to use as an alternative here. Any advice from fellow cooks?

Jupiters

chicken or fish stock?
I've heard clam juice works in a pinch as well. Or lemon juice.

Thatdeliveryguy

MY A/V gets on my nerves sometimes and it all comes at the most inopportune time! I've been carrying around a book when I go out or always try to have some distraction at hand so when my AV comes a calling I can try to redirect my mind.

I don't know any wine substitutes sorry, I am not a good cook. However, mussells sound real good right now, I hope you find your substitute and the meal turns out well.

Meraviglioso

I don't have any fish stock made, but I do have chicken stock, I'll give that a go. And add some lemon. Speriamo bene! (lets hope for the best)

Soberwolf

I wouldn't go near anything that will make your urges worse just for now

I would just start a thread throw myself into the forum

Mussels are fine with lemon chives and spring onion in clam juice

doggonecarl

There is an element of the AV stalking you, but there also seems to be an element of you clinging to your "love" of wine. I mean, your stumped about cooking without it. So somehow you are going to have to recognize the thoughts you are having, then drop them. Because you are letting take refuge in your head.

Meraviglioso

You are right Carl, so right. But what about all the other stuff, the photos and such, does anyone else suffer from that? I am certain I am not alone in that. But it hasn't hit me so hard before. I regularly surf food websites for recipe ideas and they are often displayed with wine, but today it really affected me. Ugh. Fortunately it is 19:00 here, I've got my kids with me, always a good motivation. We'll have dinner in an hour, a bath and then I just want to go to bed!

ScooterBoo

Now a question. I bought some mussels today, which I love but have always cooked with garlic, dried peppers, parsley and white wine. No white wine for me in this house. It is not having the wine in the food that gets me, it is opening the bottle and then having open wine in the house, I just can't do it yet. Does anyone have a tried and trusted replacement for white wine? I need some liquid in there to get the steam going? I feel like water would be too bland. I am not sure what to use as an alternative here. Any advice from fellow cooks?[/QUOTE]


I would use clam juice or NA cooking wine.

Soberwolf

I love to cook I can send your favourite recipes without the alcohol

Know what u mean bout the websites

Hang in there I love to cook I can help !

doggonecarl

Oh sure, it's tough in early sobriety to be bombarded with images of alcohol. Beer was my drink of choice. I couldn't look a beer can thrown on the side of the road without thinking about drinking. But that was it...it was just thinking. I looked at it like waves crashing on a rocky shore, boom, boom, boom, steady and persistant. But my rock was "I'm never going to drink and I'm never changing my mind." So slap away AV waves, I'm not budging.

What about those AA meetings?

Meraviglioso

Would love that soberwolf! I just adore cooking. I never cooked until I was 20 years old. My mom HATED to cook. She was a lovely mother, but dinner time was her weak spot. We ate tv dinners and total crap all the time. At age 20 I had to cook for a job I had and it was the first ever time I followed a recipe. I have loved cooking from that moment. It is so relaxing, creative and a way to share love and comfort with others. That siad, so many recipes call for wine! I think one day I will get there but it is too soon for me. I made that mistake before. I was just about 2 weeks into sobriety and had my relapse when I started drinking the cooking wine.

doggonecarl

Thousands don't!

When we say on SR that we have to make a lot of changes to recover, this is what we mean, changing the mindset that somehow removing alcohol is leaving a void in our lives. "Oh, how will I cook without wine?"

Take it as a challenge, not a punishment.

Quit focusing on the hole and look at what can fill it up.

sugarbear1

olive oil, butter, garlic, other seasonings of your choice

water isn't bland, it helps us taste the mussels better.....
bars are everywhere, your brain is giving you excuses.....
.....your brain is in overdrive, tell it to hush!

Meraviglioso

I don't really think "how will I cook without wine?". Of course it is totally possible. That does not take away the fact that a. I loved wine b. I enjoyed cooking with wine c. certain recipes ARE better when cooked with wine
Now, that said, a. I admit I am an alcoholic so no matter how much I love wine I will do my best not to drink it b. I won't buy wine or cook with it for the foreseen future c. as someone enjoys cooking I will find creative and tasty ways to get around the wine issue.

But denying it would just be flat out lying on my part. Do I love wine? Do I romanticize wine? Do I wish I could drink wine and look like the gorgeous magazine spreads I so admire? Yes, a resounding yes to all of them.

There are some of us who are far in our journeys and some of us just at the beginning. I no doubt have work to do on my mindset but I am here on SR with a real, true desire to get to the place you and others are. Lying to myself or everyone else during these first moments would be counter-productive.

Meraviglioso

No go. I had plans to go this past Tuesday but the father of my children called me that day and said he would need to be out of town for business so I couldn't go as I did not have childcare (the meetings are once a week, Tuesdays at 21:30) I fear this will be a regular issue, but will work around it when I can. In the meantime I hope to get support here as I can.

Meraviglioso

You put butter in? Hmmm, hadn't considered that before. I put a little olive oil in the pot with the garlic, let that heat for a bit. Then I add the mussels. I *used to* add wine about halfway through to give a bit of liquid and flavor. Ten I added lemon and parsley at the end. Tonight I am going to go with the chicken broth. I think fish broth would be better, but I don't have any made. I usually make a batch of chicken broth about twice a month and freeze it in water bottles, to thaw as needed. I eat fish very often, but as I usually cook fish with lemons in the carcass I don't save the bones or head for making broth, it is more of an event specific thing I do.

Venecia

It does get easier.

I can empathize. The advertisements for wine are omnipresent and always super-glam. We know the flip side of that coin. Not one glam thing about it.

I'll defer to others with better kitchen skills than mine. Truth is, cooking was a bit of a trigger for me. I've not cooked with wine since going sober -- it's just not something I even want in the house. You've got the right attitude: with creativity, you can find away around it.

And props to you for getting on and sharing, asking questions. Better ask and share than come back later and say "I regret that I did this because (fill in the blank)."

Hang in there, Mera. However hard it is to get sober and into recovery, the alternative is always so much harder. You can do this.

Imabuleva

We can't drink. We know where that leads, so why not just see the thoughts for what they are... a VERY bad idea and move on? Every single one of my relapses has ended in he!l. And they all started with thoughts of moderation and romanticizing the drink.

PurpleKnight

Hang in there, it's not going to feel like this forever, it gets easier!!