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TitansFreak 09-04-2014 12:29 PM

The Long Road
 
Okay let me start by introducing myself. My names Tyler I'm 23 and have been a Pain Killer addict for 6 years. Lortab,Percocet mostly and I'm just over a week sober. Not the first time but I hope its the last. About 6 months ago I made it over a month sober but I was seeing a psychiatrist and she put me on Subutex..it worked great until I was switched to the new stuff called Zubsolv and it made me absolutely sick and subutex included are worst than any pain killer I've taken. Also it cost me 250 a month for the visit and over 200 for the script "no insurance" so after I quit taking it I made it about a week and after that I hit the drugs harder than ever. Now I'm doing it cold turkey maybe a BC powder here and there only to satisfy the mental part of taking something. Usually in done with the psychical part of W/D by now but this time is different. I'm still going to the bathroom all night even with Imodium and my energy levels are terrible I can't even motivate myself to do the dishes pitiful.

Now lets discuss the beginning of my addiction.
My father passed away when I was 19 and I started taking pills recreational before then. But my father was my best friend we worked together everyday and I lost him..and all hell broke lose I locked myself in my bedroom everyday in the dark and played video games and got lost in time..note my mother got plenty of percocets a month and they were given to me like candy during this time. I was trying to numb the pain. So after 2 years of heavy abuse and locking the world out I turned 21 and met the woman that soon will call my wife. She brought me out of my room threw me back into the world and helped me grieve my fathers lost. That being said I just stopped grieving about a year ago. I felt great and I loved myself agian and loved her. She didn't take pills she liked to drink and I mean drink you under table we spent many nights in the bars and when I asked her to marry me I told her the drinking had to stop. All this time I was continuing to abuse pills and she had little knowledge about how bad it was. She finally quit drinking after some hard times. And I would give her pills to help with the with drawls and she eventually became addicted and now it was a two headed monster and I was taking more than ever. Now we have sworn to each other that pills are no longer a option and we have stuck by it..but now years of abuse is slapping us in the face we are so far behind on all our bills that daily life stresses us out..i keep telling her and myself "we reap what we sow" and it can only get better from here and that's a fact. Basically I'm here to kind of get yalls experience and advice through this process. I'm a super fan of the Tennessee titans and Sundays are my only relief and alot of that stems from me and my father we watched the game every Sunday together.. Sorry forgot to mention that earlier. Any advice will be much appreciated

Thanks

PurpleKnight 09-04-2014 12:44 PM

Welcome to the Forum Tyler!! :wave:

My addiction was alcohol, but it was also a road to nowhere, things though did start to get better once I got Sober, it took some time, but if you keep pushing through the initial rough period, the better times will come eventually!!

You'll find loads of support and advice here on SR!! Great to have you onboard!! :)

TitansFreak 09-04-2014 12:48 PM

Yes I witnessed alcohol abuse first hand.. And he withdrawls were something viscous lol but we made it threw that she's over a year sober. And we can get through this also we just have to keep our heads in the right place

ccam1973 09-04-2014 12:52 PM

Tyler, welcome to SR and congrats on one week! You'll find great support here. I'm new to the sobriety thing as well; 60 days sober today; and as you know it does get easier with time.

I have to say even through the ups and downs of these early days, my life is SO much better without drinking. I was a heavy / daily drinker for 21 years and couldn't stop after that first drink. I would also take any pain pills I could get my hands on too; although drinking was my main passion.

You can do this. I know it is hard, but life is full of hard choices and obstacles seemingly positioned right in front of us on purpose.

The SR community is my only support group. I find it helps to be as active here as possible. When ever I am feeling tempted... I log on, when ever I can't sleep (which has been a big side effect with my sobriety so far)... I log on. You get the picture.

I read past posts when ever I can and stay tuned in as much as possible.

So sorry for the loss of your father. You can turn this corner, you have made the decision and now it's up to you to stick to it.

This community will be here to support you through this fight. we've all been exactly where you are today as far as addiction is concerned.

Best of luck! I am also a Tennessee fan, but of a different nature; Go Big Orange!

TitansFreak 09-04-2014 12:57 PM

Yea man this is my only support besides my ol lady.

I just found this today and think it will be a great thing to just voice your thoughts without judgment..but I drank also but was a social drinker I could drink one or two and be done.. Now give me a bottle of pills and I going to do my best to finish it off in one day.. I hate that something has been in the drivers seat of my life for so long but I don't feel self pity about it.. Its up to me to change it

Soberwolf 09-04-2014 12:57 PM

Grief and Loss - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

I hope this helps

Soberwolf 09-04-2014 01:00 PM

Newcomer's Daily Support Threads - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information


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