justinJustQuit

Kindling in alcohol withdrawal is strange for me. It's extremely true though. When I joined here in December last year I think, my withdrawals were some minor sweats, mild anxiety etc...

I detoxed cold turkey a month ago and was downright terrified. Crawling skin, auditory hallucinations, and severe shaking and sweating. (and tons more, but most on here know what it's like I'm sure)

I don't know how to feel about kindling, but I know I feel bad that I allowed myself to fail this many times. I've read about tapering, medical detoxes and whatever else. I failed at tapering, (drinking less alcohol is almost as bad a detox) but medical detoxes I can do.

I really don't know why I started this thread, it's just whats in my mind. Oh and I have no idea how some of you could go through that without going to the ER.

biminiblue

Congrats on a month sober.

I am never going to forget how awful it was - so I don't have to go back there.

justinJustQuit

I don't have a month sober. Sorry, those were two different thoughts. I'm detoxing with meds right now. :-(

justinJustQuit

It's hard to remember how bad it is for me. I wish I remembered bad things better. (at least for this case)

BBQBOY

Justin, take it from me, kindling is very real. I've probably detoxed 25x in my life. I went from mild withdrawal after years of drinking (in my 30's) to severe withdrawal from only bingeing for a couple of weeks. Every detox gets worse believe me. I can no longer drink because I don't think they make a benzo strong enough to handle my well being if I go back out. I guess kindling is part of my recovery process...I don't want to die! Just my 2cents..take care.

jezza

Chuffin awful hence why I wrote every symptom down & when I read it I close my eyes and imagine I'm feeling it & oddly enough I start feeling it which is a great reminder! Has to be the worst feeling in the world.. well it was for me, terrifying!!!!

Soberwolf

I went thru WD properly once or a good few times in a 3 month period

I did last 18 days once in that 3 month period but not sure if that counts as true WD if it does I went 5 days a few times few days here few days there

They forced me to detox handcuffed to a hospital bed after the night of the fire

I think in them 3 months I went through WD a few times

It was the worst the last time I always done cold turkey and yeah it felt like the dimensions of the room were changing I was scared nervous terrified completely alone in a burned out room it lasted at its worst 4-5 days and I had severe dehydration I had no strength struggled to hold 5 kg

I knew I had to do it alone I couldn't hide from myself any longer and tbh I'm glad I did it like that

I can now lift over 200kg !!


I am never going through that hell again

PurpleKnight

Main thing Justin is that this can be the last time!!

You can do this!!

justinJustQuit

It will be the last time.

KAD

In my 26 years of drinking, I never experienced withdrawal at all until around the 18th year. I didn't know what hit me, and that was nothing compared to how bad it got later! Kindling is definitely a very real phenomenon. It is difficult to remember the essence of how bad it feels. We just have to keep reminding ourselves that it's horrible and we don't ever wanna go through it again.

ScottFromWI

Not to put a damper on your resolve Justin, but you've said this before. What specific actions will you take to make sure this is the last time? You've got several at your disposal. And we are here to help - all you need to do is ask.

Perhaps you could actually make a written list that you can use to remind yourself each day? Keeping track of things and making sure all idle time was accounted for with something ( anyting ) helped tremendously.

Hobbers

What I feel (hope) works for me is to remember not the detox itself (I've gone twice, but I can't say I felt anything WD-like more than a really bad hangover), but how bad I HATED the PLACE I was at/sent to, and how much I HATED being there, and being with 'those people' for days on end.

Might sound bad, or make me sound like I am 'better than' someone, but I wasn't coming from 'a bottom'/the gutter- far, far from it. Worst two experiences of my life, and the second was FAR worse, in a FAR worse place, with far more dangerous/dissimilar people than myself. THAT, probably more than anything, scares me from drinking again.


And if that is what it takes... that works for me.

Thatdeliveryguy

Every detox I've ever had is worse and worse and worse. I too went from the mild to the wild, to the point of calling an ambulance one time because I thought I was dying.

Tonymblue

The kindling effect on withdrawals is the scariest damn thing i can think of. My withdrawals got so bad i literally thought i would die. The thought of them lingers in my head constantly. I will never go through that again.