justinJustQuit

Well here we go again. Fell off again. Got a script for librium to detox.

I'm right on the cusp of losing my family, job, and last but not least: life.

I have been going to AA, and reading on here. (Maybe not posting as much as I would like)

These detoxes are getting downright scary. Just this last time I started having the feeling of skin crawling. Hopefully 250mg will be enough to get me out of the woods. It should be but i am clearly on the verge of either a great comeback or a turn for the worst.

This is my absolute last detox as an outpatient. Next time I'll be doing inpatient or IOP.

VikingGF

There doesn't have to be a next time.

Good coming back, you can do it.

trachemys

Man life is pretty good. Alcoholic man life sucks.

You'll get through it.

least

Make it your absolute last detox period. Then you'll never have to go thru this again.

Sulu1

Don't set yourself up to fail, make it so there is no next time!

Welcome back though Justin, you're in the right place.

PurpleKnight

You don't have to do this again, you can turn this around!!

Which is more important to you, your life or drinking?

The answer should be pretty clear when you mention the consequences of continuing with this chaos with regards family, job, and your life, doing all that you possibly can to not go back to drinking should be paramount!!

You can do this!!

justinJustQuit

I'm waiting minute by minute for walgreens to get my prescriptions filled. I am withdrawing hard right now.

All the normal shakes, crawling skin, rapid heart rate, dry heaves, flu like symptoms. I need those pills like now.

I'm going to beat this. My body is screaming at me to stop.

I have really bad intestinal issues and I'm dizzy nearly all the time sober or not.

Serenidad

I get where you are! I'm there! (Not in detox....YET....but HELL). All I know for sure is I was sober for almost 6 years and decided to try "controlled drinking". Fast forward 10 months and Now I am worse than ever! Good luck. We can do this! Alcohol is the devil!

Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery

justinJustQuit

It really is a bad place to be. I wish I could fast forward past all this detox crap and make my life better.

Tonymblue

You can. Trust me. I was right there two weeks ago. Get those meds, get home, get some nutrition. Then get online and post. Thats what got me through the worst of times. The depression is a just a side effect. You are a good person. If you werent, you wouldnt be here trying to help yourself and your family. Hang in there. We are here for you.

Anna

You can choose to make this the last time you go through this horror.

Each detox is getting worse because that's how the disease works. It gets harder and harder. I'm glad you talked to your dr and I know you can get through this.

Dee74

Next time I'll be doing inpatient or IOP.

I really hope you decide to make this time your last time Justin.
I used to think life sucked too...it's not surprising with the amount of booze I was drinking.

with the suffering you go through in withdrawal, what makes you drink again?
I'm genuinely interested.

D

justinJustQuit

I literally just have a bad day at work or whatever and say "screw it, I won't detox after one night."

But that one night is never one night obviously.

justinJustQuit

Oh and you do detox after one night unless it's been an amount longer than I have obtained in a long time.

PurpleKnight

That's where the recovery plan, the support structure, the reaching out to someone needs to kick in Justin

I'd drink too if I simply isolated in my own head with my mind telling me that a drink wouldn't do any harm

Believe me, there are always going to be bad days at work, Sobriety is learning to live without the quick fix of alcohol!!

You can turn this around!!

justinJustQuit

Starting tomorrow, I'm going to be on here a lot. I'm not letting this kill me like it has been.

I'm a good person with a ****** childhood. I just need to not have sobriety lose it's priority. I need to keep it at the forefront of my mind.

It's ridiculous that I work for the best software engineering firm in the Midwest but can't stop buying **** that's killing me. Everyone thinks I'm a genius but me.

justinJustQuit

You are totally right. I've got the theory, but it's much easier said than done. I will do it this time.

FeenixxRising

I hope you make this your last detox Justin. You really don't have to go through this again. The light at the end of the tunnel is worth the effort to get sober. Are you working the Steps in AA? And if you're still drinking while attending AA perhaps you need to add some other type of help, like therapy?

justinJustQuit

The worst part is I see my dad whose had part of his leg amputated, has to have dialysis three days a week and lives in a nursing home at 59. All because of alcoholism.

I have vision into this and need to stop it before I don't get to see my kid grow up from this crap.

justinJustQuit

I had therapy, and they said my childhood sucked. Yeah i worked that out on my own...

I attended AA until I moved, but have been looking for a group that fits me since then. The older guys have the insight but I relate to people younger like me.