joyfullysober

I don't even remember a day in my life were I didn't go to the beach with a cooler full with beers. Or the vodka bottle in my golf bag. Or the road trips with my drink in the cup holder. Its sad I know, but having been sober a month was too little to stop associating activities with drinking. I started drinking at 14 yrs old, so I have very few fun memories that didn't involve drinking. How long does it take?

I know there is no absolute answer to that question, but would someone at least humor me ?

Mrrryah1

It only takes as long as it takes you to start making those memories!!!!!!!!!

I have to re-learn how to do things sober after infusing most of my hobbies with booze.

Research new hobbies. Try new things.

I started small. Things like going out for lunch to a new restaurant with a friend. (I always found lunch was safer than dinner and less likely to be a trigger for booze).

Fitness was a great one. Things like trying out a Rock Climbing gym, a Hot Yoga class, signing up for an obstacle course/race.

It takes time - but the more effort you put into finding new hobbies & making new sober memories the quicker it will happen!!!

Jupiters

just like it took time, years for those memories to be made - it's going to take some time to make new memories.
won't it be nice to have actual memories that are exactly that, a GOOD memory. One that isn't revolved about booze?
Not "oh I recall that day, we drank so much, it was awesome"

no, an actual MEMORY.
I'm loving the ones I am making every single day

PurpleKnight

Memories are created in the present, to be looked back upon in the future, so you can starting making them today, that Friday evening out for coffee with friends, that hangover free morning going for a walk and enjoying the sunrise, that hobby/interest you've been meaning to rekindle, but alcohol got in the way!!

Life is all there for the taking, and the memories will follow!!

Ghostlight1

I started drinking at fourteen, too.
At first the memories were of fun. Thirty years later they were of a waking nightmare.
I drank when I did anything, even calling it fun. In truth I was a terrible drunk and the fun had long since passed.
You're alive, you're sober how you make new fun memories is up to you.
I found a whole new world open up.
I have fun grocery shopping sober. Or riding my bike.
When you're as bad an alcoholic as I am, every day is a blessing. And fun.

Soberwolf

Hi I'm nearly 14 months I have turned my life around it started after I wanted more from my life around the 30 day mark I knew the only way I would find happiness if I never ever drank again, realised alcohol had messed my life up (with a lot of help from yours truly lol) and what i was going to do about it

Well had to abandon alcohol the same way it abandoned me no more not a drop

Had to make a lot of changes some came easy some of it humbling a lot of it obvious as I spent more time in recovery

I listened intently to old timers (these are a rare breed) they are my future I also listened intently to newcomers when I first started and realised I was changing I seen a lot A LOT of relapse and people dying

For me this is my 1 shot I woke up something happened and I'm not letting go of it I found it alone but i couldn't of done it without help

My sobriety to me is as precious as a new born I'm careful at all times but you wouldn't even know it

Am I happy yes I'm on a stupid iPad watching crappy tv my gf just asked do I want some nando spicy chicken crisp I said no I'm regretting that as I hear her crunch

Yes i am very happy life is what you make it

Youl have hard days youl have easy days but above all youl have you days and that's where you find out who you truly are

Good luck

Hevyn

I completely agree with the others - Ghostlight & soberwolf in particular. I feel the same about the nightmare I created by drinking - & am so grateful to treasure every day of truly feeling alive.

Joyfullysober - I was skeptical early on. I wasn't sure I'd be enthused about anything again. As I got some sober time behind me a whole new world opened up & I didn't think about the old one much anymore. I think it took me a few months to forget about the sad old days.

FreeOwl

the thing about new memories without alcohol is you actually remember them!!

it doesn't take long.

start doing things.... do them without alcohol... they become memories.

Within a year, they'll feel like the 'norm'.

Keep at it!

Soberpotamus

I'm close to 1.5 years now and for the first time since my childhood/teens I actually have some pleasant, positive and even lovely memories It's an odd sort of feeling, to suddenly realize you are making happy memories for yourself. I am not sure at what point I realized this, but it was a bit of an ah-ha moment. I told my husband that I have never been happier or more content in my life! It feels good to know that by staying sober, I am allowing this to happen.

doggonecarl

Ah yes, the fun memories of drinking. Here are some that I culled from your previous posts:

• The hangovers are getting worse and I find myself in a vicious cycle where I have to drink the next day to start feeling normal again.
• Driving without remembering how I got home,
• Making a fool of myself in gatherings,
• Leaving the door opened and my house was robbed,
• Not being able to remember,
• Fighting over small things,
• Feeling my head spinning,
• Starting to feel bad again. I know its because of drinking.

Yeah, fun memories.

MIRecovery

Memories start immediately but you have to change your mind set from fun memories with alcohol to fun memories without. It is not a punishment it is how most people enjoy life

cometk

This was discussed in a recent meeting I attended and it was referred to as "Romancing the Drink".

When I started sobriety, I didn't know how not to drink. But now that I have given myself the opportunity to emerge from my cloud, I am learning that drinking never really did anything good for me. And that it is up to me to take control and have a good time and not just drown out the boredom.

I still romance the drink to the extent that I remain curious what a certain wine or craft brew might taste like. But these thoughts are only curiosities that I really don't have any desire to act on and I've really eliminated any desire to get drunk.

Enjoy making new memories.

CK

FreeOwl

oh... hey!!

Remember that time you got totally plastered and blacked out for hours?

Yeah, me neither.



Memories and Alcohol are not pals.

Yesterday I made some of the most incredible memories with my daughters. From sunrise rock-hunting to seeing them off to the first day of school to picking them up from the bus to hearing about their days excitedly to going swimming and jumping off big rocks to dinner and showers and going to bed reading books and drawing together.....

I made some of the greatest, simplest, most wonderful memories.... no alcohol required.



The memories are there to be made, every moment, every day. And incredibly; alcohol doesn't have to be a part of any of them!

joyfullysober

Thank you all for your input and kindness. I will keep it in mind. And for the postings I have put here in the recent months, I guess cynicism can be found given they represent the last years of my drinking career, which led me here. But anyhow, I'll take it.

joyfullysober

I read yours FreeOwl, and wanted to comment but didn't want to ruin your beautiful post

very inspiring though

doggonecarl

Indeed. So don't let the earlier memories lure you away. We all had our fun times. That ticket has been punched.

Stay strong.