SoberLaura

I'm just miserable. I was miserable when I was drinking, too, but I had that daily hours-long distraction time to get my mind off of it. Now that I'm 100% sober, I swear I'm just grumpy all the time. I know it will get easier, and that 24 days is just a drop in the bucket, but (I'm sure like many other sober noobs) I had some unrealistic expectation of clarity and sublime happiness upon sobriety. Intellectually I know this is not the way it works, but I gotta say I'm a little disappointed that I'm still so unhappy.

I have no intention of drinking again--like I said, I was miserable when I was drinking, too--I just think it's important to acknowledge that it's not all roses when you clean up your act. That's when the long-term recovery process becomes so important.

Laura

PurpleKnight

The body can't heal years of drinking in a matter of weeks, it's gonna take time to adjust physically and emotionally!!

It needs to do it's thing, but needs time to do it!!

Hang in there!!

Mairie

Hang in there Laura - you're doing fantastically

neferkamichael

SoberLaura, 24 days sober is FANTASTIC, congratulations. Unrealistic expectations are common when trying to change behavior, so please just give yourself some time and try not to fight with yourself to much. Rootin for ya.

sillysuzanfree

If you have the money and the time...treat yourself. Go to a nice spa...get a facial and a massage or whatever it is that might give you a boost. After that, come up with a list of some other ways you can get involved in recovery.

SoberLaura

Thanks, y'all! You guys rock!

Soberwolf

Your doing so well your doing it stay strong and keep on keeping on

Inflagrante

Hey Laura. I have the same number of days sober, but I feel pretty good. I think it has a lot to do with getting outside and exercising everyday. I'm a little lonely because all I seem to do is work, walk the dog, watch TV and sleep, but it's the getting outside with the dog part that's been keeping me sane. It gives me something to look forward to, I can feel my body getting stronger, and when I put my head down at night, I go right to sleep.

My advice would be to find something that makes you really happy, and set some time aside every day to do it. I need to start putting time aside to just read more!

~Lia~

I am a month and one day. I am right there with ya and feel like no one understands the turmoil that exists just beneath the surface. Face it head on, take pride in how far you've come.

Here is a quote that may help:

Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.
Theodore Roosevelt

Soberpotamus

Sounds familiar I was miserable for a while too. It really does get better with time though. Hang in there!

I found that by allowing myself the space to feel miserable, acknowledging it without wallowing, and then focusing on the next task that needed to be done... it all worked itself out in that first year. I had some serious self-hate, family resentments, and some bottled up rage, and delayed grief. All of that stuff hit me hard! For two months I didn't want to get out of bed. This all passed

Ride through this initial storm and you will be so glad you did!

SoberLaura

I used to do a lot of trail running, and I'd like to get back into it, but the problem is that it's August/September in Central Texas and 100 degrees every day. I always get cabin fever this time of year. I think once the weather cools a bit, I'll be able to go out and get some endorphins rocking and feel a lot better.

In the meantime, the weather is a great excuse to lie on the couch and watch TV :-)

Soberpotamus

I stayed inside most of the summer and used my exercise bike! I'm in Alabama. Haven't done trail running yet, but did do some 5Ks and 8Ks the past two years.

Anna

I think it takes more than simply 'not drinking'.

Have you made other positive changes in your life? That's where the peace and joy will come from.

DisplacedGRITS

I'm with Anna. My sobriety is the side effect of a greater change in my life. Because of this radical psychic change i've had, i no longer need to drink and i have lost the desire to drink. For me, drinking was no longer a pleasure. It was a necessity. I had to drink to live with myself and to tolerate the world. If all i did was quit drinking, i would be miserable. Take away an alcoholic's alcohol without the alcoholic having a radical change in lifestyle and thougts and you're left with an angry, unmedicated alcoholic.

Alcohol wasn't my problem. It was my solution. Nothing in my life couldn't be eased with alcohol. It didn't solve the problems in my life but it eased the symptoms of my disease and allowed me to simply exist in a world i could not otherwise tolerate. I'm an alcoholic, whether i'm drinking or not. I have to have something in my life that will let me live with the world and with myself. In absence of alcohol, i have a spiritual solution. It's not perfect but i am able to live a more fulfilling life than when i was treating myself with booze.

Again, alcohol wasn't my problem. It was my solution. Find a solution to your alcoholism and you will probably find yourself less miserable.

CaiHong

Well done Laura on the 24 days,

I can relate to the cranky old lady scenario. I definitely got much crankier when I stopped drinking, drinking helped to relieve the pressure that would build up. Early in sobriety At times I felt like I was about to explode.

Over 3 years sober now I still get cranky at times but most of the times I do not react to the anger and just watch it.

Hang in there, you are doing good.

CaiHong

SoberLaura

I've been on anti-depressants for 18 years, and I'm hyper-vigilant about monitoring my mood in that regard. I know I'm not clinically depressed. It's more just...general grumpiness :-P

My drinking really picked up about a year and a half ago when I left my controlling husband. My initial reaction was "I'm in charge now! I can do whatever I want!" So, on days I wasn't with my daughter (we share custody), I was drinking. Because I *could*.

Of course it got out of control, to the point where I was missing work and I was on my way to getting a DUI any day. I am so thankful that I caught myself before I did any permanent damage.

But that just leaves me back with all the pain and hurt and anger from my marriage and its end, and now I have nothing artificial to dilute it. I know it's all for the best, absolutely, but some days I just get so cranky and mad that I even have to deal with all this. It's totally just me feeling sorry for myself, and I know it will get better, but sometimes venting to like-minded folks is the only thing that helps.

Anyhoo, thanks for listening :-)

neferkamichael

SoberLaura, no doubt there is pain over the breakup, but please just suffer through it because your feelings will change with time and of course I hope for the better. I know it's a lot easier said than done but just get over the breakup as fast as possible and get on with your life. Thank you for sharing, rootin for ya.