DisplacedGRITS

...and I'll be damned, she gave me solid advice! You see, I'm not used to asking for help. I'm the kind of person who will take on too much and try to make it work. I try to never ask for help. I feign knowledge where I am unsure or ignorant. I'm not okay not knowing an answer. My life has been lived in exclusive self reliance. The only time I haven't been self reliant was when I was drinking a devastating amount of alcohol. Even then, I tried to be someone who never needed help. Today, I admitted to my sponsor that I was unsure about how to handle a situation. She shared her experience with a similar situation and helped me see my experience more clearly. I asked for help and I got it. Amazing, right?! And I didn't feel dumb afterwards. I felt relief. I felt clear.

I'm learning a lot in sobriety right now. I learned that I'm allowed to be upset so long as I am willing to let it go. For example, I got upset with my husband over an incident that happened this weekend. He asked me if he was supposed to change his actions to not make me mad. Old me would have said of course! This time, I answered him no. I don't require him to change. If he does what he did again, I can pretty much promise that I'll become upset again but that's MY problem. Because of my sobriety, I can accept his behavior, feel my emotions and then let them go. Will he change? Maybe. Do I require him to change? No! Will we be okay? Absolutely. I no longer live my life with a tally sheet. I no longer mark down all my perceived slights and attempt to either "get back" at someone or use these transgressions to force someone to change to suit me. I just let it go and it's awesome.

Life sure is amazing. Every day is an opportunity to grow spiritually. Every day is the chance to live in the present and to live free of resentments. Every day, I have the beautiful option of calling someone whenever I need help with something. Everyday, I am blessed to be human, warts and all. Every day, that is, if I am sober.

SeekingGrowth

Beautiful, inspirational post.

Ruby2

Thanks Grits! That was great.

Mangoes

Wonderful post, thanks Grits!

Soberwolf

Well done grits i wish I spoke out more in the 3 months I could of got sober a lot quicker

Alcoholics have to speak out its no good saying I can't etc

Really well done grits

whalebelow

You sound like me. Took me years to start reaching out to others and a sponsor, jeez it sure is easier than listening to the committee in my head try to thrash stuff out.

Lol

Nuudawn

Great post DG! I really like how you shared how it IS so very difficult for us to reach out. It IS. I actually FINALLY decided to get myself a sponsor last night to do the Steps. Even though her husband had already taken me aside to tell me his wife was going to reach out to me cuz she knew I was in the health and wellness field (and she wants to lose weight)..and even though I told him I had already wanted to ask her about sponsorship...and even though he told me he knew she would be all for it...

It was still SO HARD to ask her..even AFTER she had asked me to attend a GSR meeting with her for support as she was appointed our temporary rep at our business meeting last night.

It was STILL HARD to be vulnerable and ask somebody for something.