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-   -   Irritated (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/343899-irritated.html)

Luper 09-03-2014 01:53 AM

Irritated
 
I know I am a bit sensitive and a little? cranky only being at day 8, so pardon this vent.

I know I deserve it because of the things I did in my past, but if one more person comes up to me and says "are you drinking?" I think I'm gonna blow a gasket!!!!!!!!

I have been avoiding phone calls and changing my routine. I have been going for an early morning walk...by myself. That's when I ran into a neighbor who said that to me yesterday. Keep in mind that I am a little cranky... lol

My first reaction was, WTH, if everything thinks I am, then I guess I might as well go ahead and drink................ I know, AV talking.

So, with smoke coming out of my ears, I continued my walk, went home and made a nice breakfast with a big glass of orange juice. I so wanted a drink!

I know I can't avoid situations like this and I really don't blame these people for saying things. They have seen me stumble around, fall down, and carry cases of beer into my house......but walking is the one thing right now that calms me down and clears my head. I don't want to start avoiding that too just so I won't run into someone......

Don't know what I am looking for here today...just irritated with myself I guess. I am really trying so hard this time, and comments like that just bash my self confidence. I know you guys get it, so I came here...do people say this stuff to you?

Sorry for the rant, and thanks for listening.

Dee74 09-03-2014 02:01 AM

In the beginning yes - I'd been a drunk for a long long time :)
But I stayed sober - and gradually people did forget I'd been any other way...

Try and be patient luper :)

D

soberclover 09-03-2014 02:44 AM

It is frustrating isn't it?! You are doing so great with your 8 days of sobriety!!! Let those words roll off your shoulders as you continue to hold your head and shoulders high knowing you are doing the next right thing along your sober journey. :)

Treerat66 09-03-2014 02:45 AM

Hi Luper,
Rant away.
Enjoy your walks.

awuh1 09-03-2014 03:10 AM

Hi Luper. Don't give up the exercise. Even if you don't walk, do some sort of exercise indoors. I have a gut instinct you may also be dealing with some depression. Perhaps not, but its something to consider. BTW if that's the case the exercise could be helpful with depression also. I can relate to the anger around 8 days. It got better for me fairly soon after that point.
All the best to you.

sprout50 09-03-2014 03:38 AM

Sounds like your neighbors have nothing better to do than mind other people's business and I don't think you deserve it. Don't let their comments give your AV an excuse. Keep doing what you are doing and know that the people here understand.

Luper 09-03-2014 03:55 AM

Thank you guys. Guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself today, so I apologize. Really trying to stay positive and focused.

Yes, awuh1, your gut instinct is correct. I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and severe anxiety which is why I chose to self-medicate. I do have a great doc and therapist, so as part of that program, I am supposed to leave my house at least once a day...to desensitize my fears.

Thanks for your support...

SuperMega 09-03-2014 04:00 AM

Ugh! I remember being so pissed at my husband when he would ask me if I was drinking when I was sober. I would immediately flash hot with anger. It was so offensive to be accused of being drunk when I was working so hard to be sober.
In time he quit asking and I realized that I was so drunk all the time there was a blurred line as to what my behavior was like drinking vs. sober.
Give it some time. Like Dee said, put more sober time under your belt and people will stop remembering your drunk moments.
Chin up and DON'T STOP WALKING!! =)

KAD 09-03-2014 05:20 AM

Ugh... "Have you been drinking" is probably one of the most irritating questions anyone could ask me, whether I have been or not! I've even had dreams that I've been sober for a good while and everyone thinks I'm drunk. It does take time for people to get used to the "new" you. The important thing to remember is that you know you are sober and what others think is really irrelevant.

FreeOwl 09-03-2014 05:26 AM

That use to annoy the crap out of me too.

It tapered off as time went on.

Also - in many if not most cases, the question can be viewed as an expression of caring. People don't realize that it irritates us... They are simply trying to relate to us and often have experiences of us being unhealthy. This is an 'opener' for them to say they're glad for us, to express that they care and are proud of us.... They just don't get how to approach it.

In any case, as time goes on this sort of thing happens less and stops being annoying.

:)

IOAA2 09-03-2014 05:33 AM

Hi. The expression “this too shall pass.” The thing is it takes time and we don’t like that word. Until I started to change the old me my actions and reactions were the same as when I was drinking so I needed to work on me once the alcohol cleared from the body. The big word is WORK.

BE WELL

birddog406 09-03-2014 05:43 AM

Don't be sorry and it really did not come off as a rant. As time goes on, the comments will stop and if they don't stop you will be a stonger more committed person and you may not even notice the comments. Hang in there it is like a learning curve that ultimately evens out. 8 days is an enormous success, don't let the folks get you down, they really do not know what they are doing. But you know what you need to do and don't let these folks ruin your success or get in the way of your goal. Give me your pain, I can carry your pain...just can't carry my own. You can do this. Do this for you.

birddog406 09-03-2014 05:51 AM

I have OCD and as part of my therapy I had to do things to desensitzie my fears. Keep it up, this is important for your mental health and good for your spirit. Walks are one of the best things on earth and you deserve to do what you enjoy.

Soberpotamus 09-03-2014 06:00 AM

It's understandable you'd be irritated by that. Truthfully, it's absolutely no one's business whether or not you're drinking. Unless they are an employer and are paying you to do a job of course. Neighbors and friends can be nosy and intrusive, and rude.

All that said, we can not control others or what they say to us. Best thing you could probably do is ignore it and change the subject. That will send a message to them, quick.

Soberwolf 09-03-2014 06:11 AM


Originally Posted by Dee74 (Post 4875843)
In the beginning yes - I'd been a drunk for a long long time :)
But I stayed sober - and gradually people did forget I'd been any other way...

Try and be patient luper :)

D

Yes!! Ppl forget like it didn't happen but it did happen I remember lol

Nowsthetime 09-03-2014 07:46 AM

I always try to use these instances as fuel for my sobriety. Don't give your AV a chance to trick you into drinking. It only about you and people believe what you do, not what you say.

You CAN do this!!!


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