Mrrryah1

So far…………………. day 7 is OK. Panic and anxiety still through the ROOF! I almost had a mental breakdown trying to order a salad on my lunch break today. :|

A close friend, who knows what I am going through right now, mentioned how some guy “brought her pizza & wine” on the weekend and how lovely it was.

It really bothered me. How dare she mention “the W word” when she knows what I’m going through!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lol. (I know - I'm being self-centered here - but hear me out).

I think I need to be a complete hermit and just live in work/my bed/AA meetings/sober friends/SR for the next while. Pretty much entirely shut out everyone/everything else.

I mean, no facebook, no hanging out/chatting with my "normie friends", no people/places/things other than those things mentioned above.

Is it wrong to want to shut off the entire outside world., just for a little while, and give 100% to my recovery?

Just until I’m strong enough to cope with these situations?

I feel guilty for thinking this and wanting to do this.

But as far as my sobriety is concerned, I feel like a little baby deer on shaky legs right now.

Advice anyone?

Soberpotamus

Not at all wrong... do what you have to do for your recovery! Even if that means being alone for a while. I did! Some of us actually need to regroup, have that down time, and kind of chill mentally, in solitude. For me, it wasn't "isolation" it was "getting still within myself" and it was healing.

That friend who mentioned the wine and pizza... not the best thing she could have said to you!!

sthlondonab

Hey there

The above pretty much describes my first 30 days (today) I would go easy on yourself and to focus on yourself is a good plan. And the above doesn't sound like being a hermit. You can reach out in AA, work is always a good focus to take your mind off the AV and sober friends are a bonus. And SR of course rocks.

I am only just very tentatively putting myself into a few situations which could be triggers (I.e the pub) but I have built support from others and AA peeps for this and it is slowly, slowly and gently, gently with an escape route always planned.

Do what feels right for YOUR recovery.

Dee74

I did cloister myself for the first month, altho I don't think you need to be a hermit forever...but if you're like me, your old life and social circle was all about the drinking...I had to build a new life.

Think about all the things you can do that can't/won't involve alcohol Mrrryah.

You won't regret it, looking back

D

Soberwolf

Exactly this

TSDD

I've never heard of anyone getting drunk from being too far away people who drink or situations where there's likely to be drinking. Seems a safe bet to me if you feel uncomfortable about certain people, places, or situations.

There's no "wrong" way to stay sober. Do whatever you have to do to get through the day and buy you some sober time.

least

No, you don't need to be a recluse forever, but it won't hurt to put your recovery first for a while. Do what you have to do to stay sober.

FormerDrunkGuy

I don't see that as selfish, you have to look out for your own interests right now. Also you really have to question the intent of someone who brags about receiving wine as a gift to a drunk who is 7 days sober. Just saying.

Lola23

Nope,don't feel guilty at all about it. It doesn't even sound like you're being a hermit...you're going to work, yes? And AA meetings?? That's great.

I think staying away from potentially boozy situations in the beginning is a good plan. I've been trying to find other things to do, so I'm not just sitting at home climbing the walls...coffee shops for people watching have been nice, and so have visiting the local library (honestly, there are some real characters there).

I wasn't able to completely avoid EVERY situation where drinking was around, so it was imperative that I cut back where I could.

MelindaFlowers

Mrrryah,

I had to treat myself like I had the flu for at least a week when I was finally serious about stopping. And when I have the flu, I'm certainly not very social so yeah, most of my time was spent on the couch, drinking some soda and water, snacking, and clutching my laptop and SR close. I was sick and needed to put my health first. I don't know if I could have handled going out and trying to stay busy that first week. I'm at two months now and I still take it pretty easy. Socializing past 10 pm or so is pretty much unheard of. I think most people only stay up til 2 am if they've been drinking.

I think it's totally fine to be a hermit for awhile. Great job on the week!

FeenixxRising

Do what you need to do to stay sober Mrrryah. I isolated myself for the first 30 days or so. Reducing the outside distractions was helpful. At home, I could keep myself occupied without constantly thinking of alcohol.

Lenina

mrry, sometimes it just take what it takes. I did more or less sequester myself in early sobriety. it was fine. I did have to go to work but I never ever drank on the job so that wasn't an issue. Find sober company and do sober activities.

In time, you'll learn, accept that you don't drink and it is OK to be in social settings, like weddings, dinner parties and such and it's just not a big deal. Give yourself enough time in a program so that not drinking is second nature.

Love from Lenina

rocketsled5

Hi Mrrryah, I think feeling guilty about feeling a certain way is a common problem among alcoholics. Do whatever you have to do to stay sober and you definitely don't have to feel guilty. Not drinking or drugging is number 1 on the list. Everyone has feelings and I think it is OK to take care of yourself first and foremost.

I still get a bit of anxiety when sharing at meetings and meeting new people. I've been sober almost a year and the anxiety was extremely hard to deal with in the beginning. It goes away with time and I'm more comfortable in my own skin...

Have a good night and congratulations on your fine start.

happyandfree

I did the same thing as many have said. Pretty much stayed home and went to work for a while. Don't get yourself in situations where you might be tempted right now. You are doing great. Stick with your sober friends, AA, and SR. That's not isolating, that's taking care of yourself.

Jupiters

yup.
get some good movies, snacks and hole up for a bit. It's great you have work and AA to stay in touch with people, but I don't blame you for wanting to hibernate right now. I think you have to do whatever it takes to get through these early days and if that's what will keep you sober, than you have to do it.

I think what your friend said was a bit careless, it would irked me a bit as well. LOL

PurpleKnight

I pretty much did that for the first month or so, just to grind out some Sober time!!

You gotta do what you gotta do!!

firstymer

My advice? Keep doing what you are doing. You are doing GREAT! Try to be good to yourself and try not to feel guilty.

Good luck.