SolitaryThinker

Hey everyone, I slipped up again for the 193582819102th time....I'm on meds and I didn't take them yesterday and drank alone all afternoon...I'm back on course but I just feel really upset at work, and tired...I feel lonely and depressed again...nobody in my life wants to deal with my crap...I just want some positivity and someone to talk to...please help me <3
I feel defeated and on the verge of tears...

Hope2014

Today will be hard, but tomorrow will be better and the next day better than that. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I hope this is your last day 1. (((Hugs)))

Coldfusion

You're not defeated. The fact that you are here posting is a victory for sobriety. You can do this!

Alynn

Deep breaths and mediation today. You can get through. This was me yesterday. I never want to go back there. tomorrow will be much better and you don't have to feel this way again.

Hugs and prayers!

desypete

have you considered aa ?
its a great place to meet people who feel just like you and have lived just like you and they dont live that way anymore, they might be able to help you ?

SolitaryThinker

Thank you, I'm just really dismal today, and upset. Really upset
I have been in aa many times, I don't like it, it makes me more depressed...

SolitaryThinker

People in AA get clingy, and I'm not a fan of letting people down...like when it gets too much for me

SolitaryThinker

I was in IOP at the begining of the summer, I liked that a lot more, but my work schedule won't allow me to go back for another 2 weeks, I miss it greatly, I still see someone once a week but my appointment isn't till Friday

hopeful4

Hello. I am sorry you are struggling. It sounds like you are in a cycle, and that cycle is producing some depression for you. You said you did IOP, I am sure you learned things there. What can you do today for yourself to apply the things you learned. I know for myself, when I feel depressed or have anxiety it is so much better to get out resources and review and take charge of the situation as much as possible.

You have reached out here, you are not alone. You deserve more, as do the people who I am sure love you. Please apply what you know, stop looking back as you cannot change the past, but use those resources to change your future!!!

XXX

SolitaryThinker

That's true, I have a folder I kept everything from there in, I need to get out of work

SolitaryThinker

I'm having an embarrassing medical issue at the moment that's painful, I'm trying to find someone to cover my shift and can't, it's also what's bothering me...but I'm very depressed, I just hate me...I'm medicated but didn't take it yesterday

Dee74

Try and remember that a lot of the depression and self loathing you're feeling at the moment is a by-product of drinking again.

If AA is not your thing thats fine, but I think you need more support - SR is great but it doesn't seem to be enough for you, ST..

Do you have any ideas - have you looked at other recovery groups at all?

D

SolitaryThinker

I donno..sorry I posted on the wrong thread

Dee74

Maybe thinking about what to do next is a good idea ST?

D

SolitaryThinker

Nothing is there when I do...I feel stuck

Dee74

are you back on your meds? From an outside perspective, they seemed to help you feel more positively about things?

D

SolitaryThinker

Yea I'm supposed to take them before bed and took it last night

SolitaryThinker

I feel like a looser

Nowsthetime

Try to remember these feelings next time you want to take that first drink. Hang in there these feelings shall pass. It will only get worse if you drink...

SolitaryThinker

I feel like this all the time, it's why I drink...part of the reason I do...