Thatdeliveryguy

Hang in there solitary thinker, I've fallen off many times. Every day is a new opportunity at a new life. Don't depress, try and find answers, don't stop till you find an answer that works for you.

SolitaryThinker

I'm not depressed about slipping up..well I am, but I'm like this 24/7...I need like a depression/anxiety forum probably more then anything but there isn't one as extensive like this anywhere on the internet...I'm still connected with my doctors and such...taking my meds...I just have nobody left in my actual life willing to listen anymore

SolitaryThinker

I've been asking my mom (when she's sober) and she said my dad was exactly the same way as I'm acting right now, cept he never took drugs before just drank, and im an ex crackhead, so I really screwed myself...I'm trying to hold everything together and I'm just frustrated every day...most of y'all can clearly see it...I just want this to be over 8(
Not in a I wanna die way, I just want to not be me, or have this all be a bad dream, and I keep waking up and it's not...

TitansFreak

Look depression is a hell of a disease. This is a phrase I've always used my father told me.

Worrying is like a rocking chair it gives you something to do but gets you nowhere.

And you apply that to much more than worrying

SolitaryThinker

How am I supposed to accomplish real life hardships and situations if I can't even make it thru 24 hours without flipping out like this...I hear everyone loud and clear...I'm not a dumb person...and very aware of everything...but what am I gonna do? I can't possibly see how I can be there for other people or make a family, or have a good job...I just don't see how I can do it

SolitaryThinker

My issues are deeper then just being an addict...I'm not giving up on therapy I know that

TitansFreak

Look....im in construction and run my own business...my work is hit and miss may work all month may be off for a month luckily my ol lady has a steady paycheck or we wouldn't make it...i say that but we were also spending like 300 dollars a week on pills..im in the same boat we are about to get married and I have a 3 yr old little boy by another woman..and have not been a very good father because of drugs nor a good partner but you have to know the things that deep down in your core you believe and take those morals and build a life around it..

SolitaryThinker

I'm just gonna shut up...

TitansFreak

Don't get frustrated...we understand that I look in the mirror everyday and I'm not happy with myself but the fact is thats going nowhere if you run away from it

SolitaryThinker

The one thing I truely believe in Is I can't wait to get the living hell off this planet...

SolitaryThinker

I purposely didn't create any offspring because I would never EVER pass this on to someone else...and as the days pass I only feel that even stronger

SolitaryThinker

Pills are a bitch tho I can def relate...I liked speed more personally tho

SolitaryThinker

That's not an easy fight bro I def feel ya

Thatdeliveryguy

Solitary thinker, I know you're down and I am concerned about you. Are you safe right now? What things would you like to talk about? Is there any resolution that might help, if you just want to talk, keep talking... We've all been there and I know it helps. I hope you are ok, hang in there talk away my friend.

TitansFreak

Yea I've done them all but pain killers were my choice..and I felt the same way before I didn't want to pass down failure but your not a failure..we are victims of our choices and the things you can accomplish sober are endless who's to say your not the next president..many successful people are recovering addicts and that's a fact

SolitaryThinker

I'm delivering food at a 2nd job...

SolitaryThinker

I could talk all night, D knows this....it's no resolve honestly...I'm just really angry with myself and seriously HATE me so so badly, I wanna stop...but I don't see it...I don't even see a drop of positive things about myself, I'm just gonna be stuck...crazy and alone...and I'm ok with that I guess

SolitaryThinker

I don't even want success or money any more to be honest, I used to...I just wanna wake up not sad, and hating everything and everyone around me, for starters that would be a lovely step in the right direction...I got all this hate inside of me, and I don't take it out on people, I'm not big on physical altercations, I don't talk smack to people for no reason, so I just sit and hate myself, with just cause up to a certain point, but this is just redic...

TitansFreak

Man your working 2 jobs wtf that there shows you got great work ethic and that's something to build off

SolitaryThinker

Honestly, what's driving me nuts, is everyone has some kinda "groove"
Like I know not to compare myself to others, but everyone I know on here and in real life has even a teeny tiny little thing to look forward to..my entire life just feels like work...