TitansFreak

Its something I've told my fiance

The years of abuse have created a monster and others included myself don't like this person
I can't tell you who I am or what I believe in or what kind of person I'll be with the dope gone I've been living an illusion for so long
But for damn sure I'll promise you I'll be better man than I am now.

SolitaryThinker

I'm in help, I see multiple therapists and a psych every week and am medicated, sober wolf I'm just having a hard time keeping up with what your saying...
I don't even know...
I'll slow down tho...

SolitaryThinker

I love so much about live that it's unfortunate I despise it so much...I'm trying to be kinder to myself today...

SolitaryThinker

Purple- that's the thing too lol, like I'm only 28 but I feel like I'm running out of time at an alarming rate...so it leaves me frantic buhaha

SolitaryThinker

I worry a lot, like my mom does too and she's an alcoholic as well, bad, we have an overly textbook example of a codependant relationship...but I'm really gonna start telling myself that things are gonna be ok for me....I really freak out about the future and past on a daily basis...I really gotta convince myself that things will be ok (to a realistic extent)
I know I'm gonna be this way forever too, like with the depression and meds and stuff, so I'm accepting it...and moving on...

SolitaryThinker

I'm overly sensative too, and hate it being a guy but instead of wishing I wasn't, I gotta just embrace it...my fiancé loves it about me except when it leads to arguments lol...but yea I'm a sensative dude

Soberpotamus

Do you have a pet?

SolitaryThinker

I sorta do, actually something that's bumming me out also, my sister moved back into my house and bought a cat home with her, I've been taking care of it for months now and I pretty much feel like it's mine, but they are both moving back out in October, I'm getting un-attached, it makes me feel sad knowing he's leaving...but once I can get my crap in order and moved out myself I'm gonna save a kitten from a shelter, I want my own...

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Mr randy

SolitaryThinker

I've had cats my whole life tho pretty much

Soberpotamus

I've had cats forever too. Love them

I just got two dogs! Both beagles.

The reason I asked you that is because the dogs are helping me to live in the NOW instead of living in my head, or in the past, or future. I also have to plan ahead for them. Anticipate their needs. That kind of thing. All of this contributes to me staying grounded.

It really helps to have something to look after, to put some things into perspective.

SolitaryThinker

My living situations don't allow for more pets, but wishful thinking...hopefully...

SolitaryThinker

Ungh I'm so far from grounded lol, I hate this

SolitaryThinker

Like I'm almost 30 now, it's just a joke...

SolitaryThinker

Like I stayed sober today but hated myself

SolitaryThinker

I can't do this again tonight, I can't start feeling sorry for myself...unggggggggg

SolitaryThinker

I'm getting to a point where I'm just gonna shut up...cause even on here people are like "your not changing"
It's annoying

SolitaryThinker

I'm annoying, and needy...I could sit here and write all the stuff my therapist and psych are going over but I'm not gonna, not cause I don't wanna share, it's too long...but I absolutely am aware and know why I'm acting the way I am...

SolitaryThinker

I can't slow down and enjoy life, I just can't....

Dee74

Yeah you can.
It's a skill like any other.

It takes time patience and commitment - and a willingness to face our fear, and suffer a little discomfort for the greater good

why not post to some other folks ST...offer some help and support, even if it's just acknowledging you're listening...get involved in other threads. It might take you out of your own head for a while?

D

SolitaryThinker

Nothing to offer at the moment...