did you change ?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Only everything SW. 
My old life was geared to drinking...I couldn't live that life in recovery without some major changes....
not only 'people places and things' but the way I dealt with things too...I had to take drinking off the table as a viable option and find other solutions.
It was scary...but I've never regretted it
D
My old life was geared to drinking...I couldn't live that life in recovery without some major changes....
not only 'people places and things' but the way I dealt with things too...I had to take drinking off the table as a viable option and find other solutions.
It was scary...but I've never regretted it
D
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
the list is huge in the things i have had to change to live the life i live today and each day i end up finding new things i could add to the list.
when i look back at the scared man i was hidden away in my flat throwing up in buckets to get another drink down my neck well there sure is a huge change from those days
when i look back at the scared man i was hidden away in my flat throwing up in buckets to get another drink down my neck well there sure is a huge change from those days
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Flevoland
Posts: 103
I had to change several things to get sober. In some respects it kind of felt like I had to "hide" for awhile in order to get myself put back together. I didn't go to some celebrations where alcohol was served, I stopped throwing parties at my home, I stopped meeting friends for dinner which always meant drinks were involved. I did not have to stop doing these things forever, but I did have to stop in order to get myself under control.
I also had to find new ways to occupy my time. I had previously wasted all my free time drinking myself into a stupor. So, I ended up changing my routines. I attended classes, went to the gym etc. etc.
I have been lucky and I have not had to forgo too many friendships. My close friend bonds were not based on our alcohol consumption so when I quit I was still able to find activities we could enjoy together.
I also had to find new ways to occupy my time. I had previously wasted all my free time drinking myself into a stupor. So, I ended up changing my routines. I attended classes, went to the gym etc. etc.
I have been lucky and I have not had to forgo too many friendships. My close friend bonds were not based on our alcohol consumption so when I quit I was still able to find activities we could enjoy together.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
One thing that changed for me is that I re-committed to sobriety after a year and a half of returning to drinking during a time when I had a new relationship unfolding.
My Lady doesn't drink much at all. Hardly ever really and if / when she does she literally just has "one or two". Mostly just one. Because I was in this relationship, she's a Mom, I'm a Dad - I changed a lot of my patterns by virtue of being in a committed and deepening relationship with a pretty much non-drinker.
Gone were the days of going to lots of parties and gatherings and going out to music or bars - because a lot more of my free time was now spent with my Lady and her son and my daughters. Sometimes we still go out or go to gatherings - but with her as my "wing man" - I don't feel as awkward about not drinking. She often joins me in drinking a fizzy water or sodas or something alternative. But if she does choose to have an alcoholic beverage, she'll pick one fancy beer, drink that and then not have any more.
So I have an ally in my sobriety and - without really even thinking about it or having to consciously avoid old habits, my life had evolved away from a lot of the drinking-centric activities that used to be a heavy influence in my heavy drinking.
I often feel like I didn't really make a lot of drastic change - but this thread has made me realize how my relationship had already influenced a lot of healthy changes that supported my sobriety.
My Lady doesn't drink much at all. Hardly ever really and if / when she does she literally just has "one or two". Mostly just one. Because I was in this relationship, she's a Mom, I'm a Dad - I changed a lot of my patterns by virtue of being in a committed and deepening relationship with a pretty much non-drinker.
Gone were the days of going to lots of parties and gatherings and going out to music or bars - because a lot more of my free time was now spent with my Lady and her son and my daughters. Sometimes we still go out or go to gatherings - but with her as my "wing man" - I don't feel as awkward about not drinking. She often joins me in drinking a fizzy water or sodas or something alternative. But if she does choose to have an alcoholic beverage, she'll pick one fancy beer, drink that and then not have any more.
So I have an ally in my sobriety and - without really even thinking about it or having to consciously avoid old habits, my life had evolved away from a lot of the drinking-centric activities that used to be a heavy influence in my heavy drinking.
I often feel like I didn't really make a lot of drastic change - but this thread has made me realize how my relationship had already influenced a lot of healthy changes that supported my sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
I really didn't change my physical surroundings or my circle of friends and family. I'm fortunate in that my family and friends are not heavy drinkers. I did stay home more than usual for the first month or two. I rarely drank alone or at home, so being home was a safe place for me. Now I go anywhere and everywhere I used to go, but I do it sober.
My changes were almost all internal and dealt with attitudes and perceptions.
My changes were almost all internal and dealt with attitudes and perceptions.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 283
i changed everything.
i am no longer married. i don't work. i live in a small flat, on very little money. i see my daughter once or twice a week. i have a grumpy cat for company.
you know what though? i am rich in sobriety. the friends i can count on from 20 years friendship have been amazing. my family are very relieved that i quit drinking before it (or me) killed me. i have made so many good friends in AA. my relationship with my daughter is so, so special - she went to live with her dad last year as a direct result of my drinking and didn't communicate with me at all for months. we spend quality time together now (mostly laughing like drains at all sorts of in-jokes and internet madness).
i don't regret any of the changes i have made. i wouldn't trade this life for anything.
i am no longer married. i don't work. i live in a small flat, on very little money. i see my daughter once or twice a week. i have a grumpy cat for company.
you know what though? i am rich in sobriety. the friends i can count on from 20 years friendship have been amazing. my family are very relieved that i quit drinking before it (or me) killed me. i have made so many good friends in AA. my relationship with my daughter is so, so special - she went to live with her dad last year as a direct result of my drinking and didn't communicate with me at all for months. we spend quality time together now (mostly laughing like drains at all sorts of in-jokes and internet madness).
i don't regret any of the changes i have made. i wouldn't trade this life for anything.
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