Sinderos

As I type this I am on the verge of pouring out the rest of my vodka. I desperately want a sober life. I've been here countless times and still never seem to make it. I really want to this time. I want to live a healthy life with lots of energy. I want to be sober. I want to be healthy. I don't understand why it's so hard to quit for good.

doggonecarl

Desperate enough to do anything to get sober?

I don't know what you have or haven't done for your sobriety. I may be generalizing, but those that fail are usually repeating what doesn't work. Try what you have been afraid or resistant to trying.

Mangoes

It's hard to quit, but not impossible. Lots of things are hard. When you were wee, learning to tie your shoes or ride a bike likely took all your concentration. You probably fell off your bike, skinned your knees, cried your eyes out, but we're begging your mom to let you ride again as soon as the bandaid was applied.
We fall, we get up. We learn this as children and somehow forget as adults that we are not perfect beings. We are human.
Make the choice. No one can make it for you. You've posted here. That's a great first step. The next step should be to pour out the vodka and be honest with yourself. Make a plan. What are you going to do to get back up on your bike? AA? AVRT? In patient or outpatient rehab?

Today is the day you can make the choice. We never reach tomorrow, so make your choice to live TODAY. You are so worth it.

GotGrace

It's hard because you are addicted.

The good news is, you can stop. What will you do differently this time?

Welcome back!

Soberwolf

For me to get sober I had to change a lot of things its going to be tough but you can do it

All the best

Dee74

Hey Sinderos

I think sometimes it's a case of looking what we;re doing for our recovery - accepting that it hasn't been enough...and then looking at what else we can add

more support? more lifestyle changes? finding better ways to deal with stress, sadness frustration or just pain feeling uncomfortable?

I believe you can do this. You're probably a lot closer to permanent recovery than you think

Just think about what you can add

D

Findingtheway

I'd recommend you throw out the vodka...though I know the struggle within that comes with it...5 days ago I had a choice.

The previous week was from HELL...and I STILL had little less than half a bottle of whiskey in my bag..

I walked down the street...thinking what to do...I knew there was a AA meeting close by...with a shaky hand I threw the half bottle in the trash...

I had to CONVINCE myself to do it...but it wasn't easy.

I'm 5 days sober as a result and joined the AA group...I have a somewhat clearer mind and additional support now.

I made the right choice. I encourage you to do the same.

The choice IS yours. I wish you well.

least

Pour out the booze and vow to make this the first day of a better life... sober.

Sasha4

Get rid of the 'for good' thinking.
Its to big for any drinker to contemplate - the rest of your life with no booze.

You get up in the morning and the first promise you make to yourself is 'just for today I will not drink'.

It does not matter if you are an AAer or not.
Just promise yourself.
When you go to sleep sober, you will have 1 day.

The next morning you wake up, make the same promise.
Think no further forward than that day. By then this will be day 2.

If someone asks or you think about birthdays, christmas, easter, holidays, NYE, push the thoughts out of your head by thinking you will cross that bridge when you come to it.
Think no further ahead than the current day.

Thats how I got myself 2 years in Feb 2014.

I still follow that thought process now.
Its the only thing that worked for me.
Give yourself a chance for it to work for you.

I wish you the best xx

Soberwolf

Love this post

desypete

can you tell us what you have done so far to try to stop drinking ?

for me i tried everything i could, until i finally came to see i could not do this on my own so i went along to aa and there i found the help i needed

so if you havent tried aa yet i would offer that up as a way out for you ?

good luck to you

jaynie04

Just like sobriety is an equal opportunity affliction, sobriety is an equal opportunity remedy. It doesn't matter how tall or short you are, skinny or fat, old or young, you don't need a special degree….it is one of the few things in life that is our's free for the taking. And we all possess exactly what we need within us…it is just a matter of tapping into it.

You can do this. I think I can pretty safely say that most here have been exactly where you are at. Sobriety is a string of small decisions you make daily, some people have just been making those decisions a bit longer.

You can do this!

Sinderos

I did pour it out and am successfully completing day one. I'm feeling very positive this time. I've taken the pup on two long walks tonight and did some cleaning. Staying busy is going to be the key for me initially.

I've read each of your posts and they were all so encouraging. I'm taking each one to heart and going to save it and read it when necessary.

Tomorrow evening is a Bible study which I have found to be very helpful. I'm going to get involved in some kind of activity to meet people and not feel so lonely all of the time. I'm also going to make a strong effort to get in a work out routine. There's a 5k in April I want to walk in and actually have a decent time.

Thank you all so very much for not being judgmental but very much so of putting it in perspective for me.

Anna

Sinderos, your ideas all sound really good. I think the point made was to add or change something to your routine and it sounds like you're ready to do that. I'm glad you came back and posted.