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Iam dying and iam rich....

Old 09-01-2014, 12:12 PM
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Iam dying and iam rich....

Still drinking and still making money hand over fist, the funny thing is people say you can't be rich and an active alcoholic.. Come see my life!!
The money keeps me in denial, the resources keep me drinking.... Could go best rehab for as long as i won't or therapy... But don't...

I suppose iam going to die, and I welcome death! Iam that sick off this ****!!!! I know the 12 steppers are gunna pipe up and tell me I ain't hit bottom etc etc.

I know I sound like a rich man moaning, the truth is I come from the streets and I had a monster step dad. I love my mum but hate her for letting us live like that....

Rant over... Probably gunna get heavy drinkers commenting as I feel this place has more non alcoholics than the real deals.... But anyways!

Rant over. To the real deals... Your more amazing than you know.
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Old 09-01-2014, 12:21 PM
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Not quite sure why you posted but I'm a real alcoholic and I know you don't have to live that way. I was looking to die when I was active. My only complaint was that it was taking too freaking long to come. I was a respectable functional shell covering a whole bunch of nothing. Sobriety isn't easy but when I die now I won't be dying as a miserable drunk.

Success/failure. A drunk life is a failed attempt and you only get one try at life, so why not try to get a little real success for the time you have left?
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Old 09-01-2014, 12:22 PM
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Hi lionhearted sounds like alcohol has definatly got the better of you like it did me at one point I didn't care if I died I was truly lost and alone and i didn't care

Then I nearly died for real twice .... Still carried on drinking ... Death wish ?

Lion something happened 1 morning I sort of woke up and then I was fighting all these thoughts and feelings and to this day I'm still fighting well not fighting but you catch my meaning

I am 13 months sober and in 14 days I'll be 14 months sober for the first and hopefully last time in my life
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Old 09-01-2014, 12:23 PM
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there is no sliding scale when it comes to needing to clean up one's life.

you either are or you are not.

you either want to or you do not

I don't know if I qualify as the "real deal" according to the Lionhearted1. But I can assure you I qualify as one who needed to and wanted to.

So what about you? Did you come here just to rant or are you concerned about yourself and want to do something about it?

Welcome to the forum. You'll get plenty of support here. We don't discriminate, we help rich people too.
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Old 09-01-2014, 12:29 PM
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Hey, are you a high earning high functioning alcoholic philanthropist? If so, you can help by paying my 45K school loan. It will make you feel better. And I can go back to school to learn a new occupation!

I was in anesthesia, making more money than I could possibly spend. Then I effed it all up. I am unemployable in my field now and my income, well, it went down.

Thanks!!!
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Old 09-01-2014, 12:34 PM
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Originally Posted by mfanch View Post
Hey, are you a high earning high functioning alcoholic philanthropist?
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Old 09-01-2014, 12:36 PM
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Well Lionheart, I am not sure where you get the idea that rich people are immune to alcoholism. I was in rehab for 35 days with plenty of wealthy "real deals" like yourself and I can tell you that all the top paying professions are awash with alcoholics.
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Old 09-01-2014, 12:40 PM
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Lol... It is funny...
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Old 09-01-2014, 12:48 PM
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No iam not a philanthropist...
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Old 09-01-2014, 12:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Lionhearted1 View Post
I suppose iam going to die, and I welcome death! Iam that sick off this ****!!!!
Hi Lionhearted1: this is where alcohol takes us when we live with it.. all of us.

I forget who said this here.. but someone said they quit when they wanted to not drink more then they wanted to drink. This is a long processes but the entire journey is rewarding. It's really about building a relationship with ourselves. It begin's painful as we face the things we've done but we forgive ourselves and as the weeks pass we define ourselves by our actions to overcome a devastating force in our lives. It feel's amazing to decide to quit and be on day 30 now! I am at the start of my journey as-well but know alcohol is out of my life.

I try not to give advise but I am compelled to mention that being nice to people makes us feel good about ourselves. Feeling good completely reinforces our own confidence and respect for ourselves. I feel a big part of sobriety is finally respecting ourselves and others. There is nothing to run away from then and life can be happily embarrassed within solid constructs of our own choosing!

Most things that bring excitement in the physical appear to be peripheral to happiness. When our central human emotional requirements are not met then a deep hunger ignites. For me, I find happiness in knowing that I do not bring suffering to myself or others anymore. I feel better and can slowly see that one day I will have meaningful places in others lives of my choosing. Maybe the secret is more about cultivating a relationship with ourselves and the world around us and less about not touching alcohol.

The short answer is simple though.. stop drinking and consider seeking medical assistance if your currently drinking a huge amount daily. You can absolutely do this and you certainly deserve this, as we all do! Consider keeping a journal of your daily activities and how you felt. This helps us see how are daily decisions make us feel.

Much love and respect
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Old 09-01-2014, 12:54 PM
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umm, don't really know what to say...but, i am a real deal

don't let that making money go to h*ll -i did was years i'd save thousands a month - i made a little over $500 last month. i'm self employed & guess i'm gonna have to find a real job. but, where can you get a job these days w/o a drug test??

hate my family & where i come from too.

yeah, many days i think i might as well die because i really got nothing to live for...
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Old 09-01-2014, 12:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Lionhearted1 View Post
No iam not a philanthropist...
Damn. Well, I tried.

I will say this. Alcoholism is progressive. It gets worse over time. I'll let you do the math on that one.

"high functioning" just keeps us sicker longer. It did for me.
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Old 09-01-2014, 01:05 PM
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Hi Lionhearted. Good to hear from you.

It's never too late to lose everything. I once had it made too. I kept going with my drinking until I managed to sabotage myself, despite swearing I'd never let it go that far. Don't forget that 'hitting bottom' for some can mean death. I hope you'll find a way to stop the behavior that is obviously making you miserable. If there's no joy or happiness in it, why continue? It doesn't sound like you're enjoying all that money you're making. I'm glad to see you posting.
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Old 09-01-2014, 01:23 PM
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Lionhearted1, I am quite comfortable financially. I took early retirement from a very well-known company where I was a v-p shortly after my parents passed away and left me very well-off. I am on my 17th day of sobriety; you might not consider me the real deal as I never got a DUI, never went to detox, did the majority of my heavy drinking at home where I live with only my dog. BUT, if I had killed someone while driving drunk, or done who-knows-what while in a blackout, I doubt very much my money would get me through.

Try sobriety for a few days. I was thinking that if I cannot stay sober this time, I might go to a luxury spa - - one of the new ones that are alcohol free, only natural foods , etc. That would be my detox.
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Old 09-01-2014, 01:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Lionhearted1 View Post
Probably gunna get heavy drinkers commenting as I feel this place has more non alcoholics than the real deals.... But anyways!

Rant over. To the real deals... Your more amazing than you know.
Perhaps you could worry about whether or not you are an alcoholic first.

Last time you were here you said you has plans to go back to AA, did that come to pass?
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Old 09-01-2014, 01:28 PM
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Lionhearted - welcome to SR! I have no idea if you would have considered me a heavy drinker or a hard-hitter or what, but for me there was no doubt whatsoever and if I hadn't got sober I definitely would not be alive now (through suicide most likely...)... regardless, there are thousands of alcoholics here at SR, some recovering, some trying to recover.

I am pleased to say I am now 19 months sober after 23 years of drinking (much of the time alcoholically)

Oh, and lucky you to earn so much as there is no way I could have afforded my 'habit' when I lived and worked in London....
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Old 09-01-2014, 01:32 PM
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Lionhearted, sounds like you're miserable, plain and simple, right? You may be able to buffet your misery in more comfortable surroundings but, nevertheless, the core of you is miserable.

You can continue to say, "I can drink as much as I want with few or no real repercussions because I am rich." And maybe that's true. Was for my father. He still died in abject loneliness and physical agony.

At the end of the day, it's all a choice, of course. But hard drinkers, light drinkers, hardcore addicts, dabblers, whatever. We've got to be pretty miserable with the way sh!t is going down on the inside to start posting here, right?

If you stop drinking or using, eventually life gets a lot better. Obviously or else so many of us wouldn't be posting here telling our stories that it DOES get better. So it works, the numbers speak for themselves.

So the choice is never about money. It's about how long and how bad you want to continue the misery. Because I promise you, no amount of money will ever make it fun again. Can't buy that, although so many of us have tried.

And that misery WILL drive you to totally disregard your life. I would bet a large percentage of us have been there too.

In the end, it's a choice whether you want to be miserable or not. That is all that really matters. All the other stuff is circumstantial.
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Old 09-01-2014, 01:37 PM
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You could put all that money to
a good or worthy cause to help
people that could surely use it.

The sick, dieing, animals, cancer,
....just to go to a place and see
famin, that don't have luxuries
and would give anything for human
kindness and help.

Just saying.
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Old 09-01-2014, 01:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Lionhearted1 View Post
Still drinking and still making money hand over fist, the funny thing is people say you can't be rich and an active alcoholic..
Actually....the very rich and the very poor have much in common when it comes to addiction. Read a study about that once.

Hope you change your mind about your recovery though. You could be having a much better time in life than the rest of us Joe-Schmoes. You seem to be miserable and I'm sorry.
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Old 09-01-2014, 01:41 PM
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I'm really wondering what this emphasis on being rich is about? I don't think it's a particularly admirable thing in and of itself. Maybe your balancing off wealth against alcoholism and erroneously thinking that makes some kind of sense?
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