Hope2014

Lionhearted - addiction doesn't care if you have or have not. It doesn't care what color, shape, iq or social circle you are in. It affects us all across the board. You want to get getter or you wouldn't have taken the time to find this site, or post your words. You're angry and rightfully so- I started that way too. What you'll realize as you begin to heal is that a lot of those emotions: anger, fear, sadness, loneliness etc probably fueled your desire to continue to drink, so that you didn't have to feel or acknowledge them. And until you stop masking it with poison, you can't fix the core issues.
The people here are real and help each other, including myself. I don't think you want to die, I think you are in a tremendous amount of emotional pain and that giving up to alcohol is the easiest answer. It isn't easy getting sober, but it is worth it. You will feel better, look better and realize your true purpose once you take away the poison and peel back the layers. I hope that you stick on this site and continue to post. There is a lot of support here, but you have to want it.
Don't allow yourself to drown because your glass is now half full. Your life is worth fighting for.

Thepatman

Why not surprise her and attend her first day of school? I have a 7 year old. I'm doing this for me first, but he's right there on top of my list.

I find strengh in him. He told me last week "is it me or since you don't drink beer anymore you are more petient with me and spend more time playing?"

Now if that don't get a man to realise sobriety is worth it all, then nothing else can.

jaynie04

Pat…you sound like a rich man to me!

Mountainmanbob

My best friend from rehab years ago had it all
Pretty and very sweet wife
Two beautiful little twin boys
A very successful business
Big new house
Plenty I mean plenty of money

He just couldn't stay sober
In and out of rehabs and paying cash for treatment
His business partner called me one day
While in yet another rehab
He had committed suicide

This need not also be your story

MM

DoubleBarrel

Don't lie to yourself. You are hurting her a lot too.

whalebelow

If your ashamed about being alcoholic, the truth is you do not understand what alcoholism is.

I have it too, and I have it just the same as I have blue eyes and I'm 6ft2

It's genetic, like male pattern baldness.

Ever seen a family of dad and three sons? Dad is bald, so is one of the sons and two of them still have a full head of hair?

That's all it is mate, pre-disposed to a condition and when you found alcohol the fuse was lit.

Whatever you decide to do, just know there is a solution.

You don't have to live with untreated alcoholism, you have a choice.

FeenixxRising

Beautiful Thepatman.

jdooner

I used to identify with my money and things - its all an illusion. It does not matter if you have zero or 9 zeros in your bank account. The enemy is not in the bottle nor is the solution. Everything you need you have already you just need some help and guidance on how to find it. As a tip its not in your cars, not in the bottle or your flat in London or your hedge fund or property management company...its in you.

First thing first is you got to get sober buddy. Without that your building a house in quicksand.

Mags1

Hi Lionhearted, sorry you're in pain.

I was between the devil and the deep blue sea for a long time. I couldn't face the thought of life without alcohol. It was so much easier not to think about it and just get drunk most nights and in the day if I got the chance.

I had to do it 1 day at a time, then it went weeks, months etc.

I really have freedom from being tied to drink. It sets you free.

Great feeling, hey, freedom from the chains of alcohol.

SoberHoopsFan

There were periods of my life where I had very very high paying jobs. Alcohol took them from me eventually. However, no matter how much I was making, I was never "rich" when I an active drunk. I was as "poor" mentally and emotionally as anyone on the planet. Money and possessions are fleeting. Sanity and mental health are far more tangible. You aren't "rich" when you're abusing alcohol, that's how I look at it.

And as others have already said, alcohol will find a way to divest you of all the material and financial things you have worked for at some point anyway. If you were like me, you're only one bad binge away from a prison cell or financial ruin.

Not a huge fan of the tone of your opening post to be honest, but if you want to stop drinking, you're in the right place to get help. Y

EJ43

Hi lionheart- cash is not a variable in my eyes, if anything it allows you more access to the booze and having a successful career with be your AVs biggest argument! How could you be a lush living like this and being this successful? Well you can. All walks of life, it takes every sliver from every stinking corner.....wealth, poverty, education, age, race.....it is the melting pot of drunks! Hopefully you keep
Coming back!!! Good luck and hang in there!

Hevyn

I hope you'll come back Lionhearted. We care about you.

RevivingOphelia

Despite things being rough for you right now, your post made me chuckle a bit; good luck with finding new employment, mfanch.

Lionhearted, I hope you find some solace and better health in sobriety.

Kaneda8888

The delusion of material wealth. When my alcoholism was at its zenith, so was my career so far. Wealth, prestige, power, jet setting and all the trinkets that come with it. On the outside, I was invincible and the upper end of the 1%. On the inside, I was utterly, utterly miserable and the bottom of the ninety nine%. Every day was a living hell; constantly planning my suicide; filled with self-loathing, self-pity, paranoia, guilt, remorse, shame. I was convinced I could not break this cycle of drinking madness.

It took a DUI and being kicked out of my house to bring me to my senses. Slowly with multiple relapses, I managed to finally stop and stay stopped (hopefully for ever). I am fortunate not to have lost my true wealth - family, friends, my physical and mental well being. Those are invaluable and make any material wealth look pathetic.

You need support and a recovery plan. You need to stop the vicious cycle of negative emotions, grit your teeth and reach out for help. There is no shame in asking for help. Dont let the delusion of material wealth fool you into thinking that you can do this by yourself. The challenge is to look within yourself. It may seem an insurmountable challenge but it is not. Take one step and focus on that one step at a time. Then take the next step.

I am sure you have the courage to achieve this ! Stay close to SR !

Eddiebuckle

My mother died an active alcoholic. She didn't work because she didn't have to, had access to any medical care she wanted. We tried doctors, interventions, rehab. I will never know why she couldn't quit, but money sure didn't change the outcome.

I'm not sure if you are asking for help Lion, or simply throwing in the towel. But my first sponsor used to say that alcoholism is a disease of loneliness that we try to cure with isolation. Wealth, its accumulation and the trappings it bestows, is a very effective means of keeping the rest of the world at bay. But in an of itself, wealth is meaningless. I assume that was the point of your post.

Lionhearted1

Thank you all... I am jealous I suppose that I can't get sober. You lot are absolutely amazing: I hope in time people forgive me for my egotistic post,
Sorry!!

ESD907

Nothing to forgive. I bet all of us can relate in our own way. We are here and hope you stay.

nigey1

Best of luck lionheart. I remember u from around my join time.

Money can certainly be important in providing security and resources to live.

Myself, I am on an average wage but have found that since being sober I don't really spend it other than on items I need. I just have no real drive for accumulating money or possessions.

This was not an intention, rather something that evolved with my sobriety.

I didn't always but I now find contentment and satisfaction in the nature of my work rather than the rewards. Just being able bodied, healthy and contributing is much more than some can dream of.

I hope you enjoy what you are doing too.

Dee74

You really can tho - there's no secret, no magic

I had to give up on the idea that I had to drink to be really me, or do my job, to have fun, or deal with my life...etc etc

All that was nonsense.

Once I accepted that it was nonsense, things got a lot better LH

D

Meraviglioso

My grandmother had the following quote hanging on the wall in her bathroom (of all places!)

"Rich is not how much you have, where you are going or even who you are, it is who you have beside you"

As an alcoholic it is difficult to have real, meaningful relationships with other people. It sounds to me that you are angry that you have "everything" yet still are not happy. I think a part of you sees that the alcohol is interfering with that. I hope you will stay here and seek the help you need elsewhere.