bouncer13

Been at trying to get sober for months. Made a month once. I go 4 days dry then get pissed or depressed and go back to drinking. I'm out of ideas. I go to meetings. But home alone the depression gets to me at night. The relapses are just getting longer and worse.

sugarbear1

have you worked the 12 steps?

Stiv

I can relate, I am trying to cage the beast too, and I think that might be the thing, cage it and let it know it’s not coming back out, ever.

Keep posting!

bouncer13

My sponsor has me starting the steps. I'm praying and accept that my life is not manageable. I get lost in a place though that I can't stop thinking about negative ****. I don't have a job. Rebuilding my life at this point seems impossible. I don't even know if its worth it anymore.

sobercatholic

You "go to meetings," but do you work the program? Find a sponsor yet? (That might help a little with the isolation you're feeling each night.) Have you started working the Steps? Getting "pissed" or "depressed" are probable signs of deeper issues that the Steps can help you deal with. Have a Big Book and 12 and 12? Read them!

Meetings aren't enough, they're only a part of the program. You have to work at it.

sobercatholic

I replied a few minutes ago before I saw this. OK, so this is a good start. Getting lost in a place, etc., is something I and probably every other alkie has been through. And rebuilding always seems impossible at first. DOn't look at the whole project, just do it (you know what's coming!) "One Day AT A Time!"

And rebuilding your life IS WORTH IT!!

Stiv

"I don't even know if its worth it anymore."

It's worth it brother, keep on the right track, you can do this!

ru12

Have you seen a doctor for depression?

If AA isn't working for you perhaps try Rational Recover or SMART or SOS or Life Ring. Some just use this site. Keep trying. Life is so much easier sober.

Ruby2

I'm sorry you are having a rough go. Are you reaching out to people at the meetings? Are you calling people when you are down or just to talk? Meetings alone will only get you so far. Do you hang out afterwards? Maybe go out for coffee or ice cream with someone. Are you speaking at meetings or sitting and listening?

I tried just going to meetings and that wasn't enough for me. I call people now. Or text. if I am having a tough time and need help I will call and say that. Reach out. Maybe add more meetings. Or different meetings if you aren't finding the ones you go to a good fit. You can do it. Hang in there. If meetings alone aren't working, add something new.

bouncer13

I still don't speak. I don't talk to the folks at the meetings really. I can't even afford a coffee right now. My jobs were all in bars and I has to quit them to get sober. Still haven't been able to find work.

sobercatholic

Don't worry about not sharing. Maybe try and chat with people before or afterwards. I'm lousy at giving that kind of advice as I'm not very chatty and a bit introverted. But back when I was in early sobriety, I managed to talk a little with people before and after. Try it.

And the coffee at meetings is usually free. Grab a cup. Find out who the coffee maker is and compliment them (even if it sucks). That's a way to start talking.

About jobs: I don't know what financial support you have, but perhaps you can't handle jobs right now. This is something you'll have to discuss with your sponsor (who could also introduce you to people to talk to!)