Justwokeup

First attempt of sobriety lasted 8 months, trying it again. Now on day 30 and the second time is harder. Really want to make it this time so I will be visiting this site daily. First attempt had my doc putting me on Vibryd because I was not an alcoholic but just a depressed old lady. Almost lost my mind and the withdrawals were horrible. Slipped back into bad habit again and now struggling to save my sanity. Do not have any initiative to get out of bed, mind races continually and brain fog is unreal. All I want to do is sleep. Will take it one day at a time. Thanks for this forum, it offers so much support for us that have no one to talk to.

Findingtheway

Once upon a time I had 8 months...that was couple years ago...my last real go at it got me up to 54 days.

Today makes day 3 for me. My resolve is back. After last weeks torment I'm not going back...unless alcohol physically grows arms and drags me.

You're not alone in this. I'm committed to not drinking today. I hope you have a sober and safe day as well.

NorMar

To my past self in my early days of trying to get sober, and to a lot of people here today, 30 days (let alone 8 months) sober is an MAJOR, almost unimaginable achievement. I went through the wanting to stay in bed period, laying there in the dark dreading the moment when the suns first rays showed up. Meant it would soon be daytime. I preferred the solitude and loneliness of the night. Dreaded the daylight hours when someone might come knocking on the door, the phone might ring, and I might have to deal with something besides what I was going through. It was Hell on Earth.

No easy answers, you made 8 months before, you know you can do it again. Then build on that, learn from your experiences, and Go Forward. I'll say a prayer for you, Be Strong.

Soberwolf

Well done on 30 days that's fantastic sorry its tougher this time

For what its worth I think your going to do it this time just got a feeling

Keep posting and I wish you all the best

Justwokeup

Yes, 3 AM is my favorite time of day. I drank for 30 years, held down a full time job and was a pillar of the community. Never was a falling down drunk, never drank every nite but loved the wine and scotch. Generally knew when to stop, had kiddos to take care of. In 2012 I had several life altering events and spiraled into a deep hole. In early 2013 my mother passed and I contracted hepatitus from alcohol and raw shellfish i knew it was time to stop. Had the jitters, brain fog and have never felt like myself again but I quit. My life was still out of control and stress played the biggest factor in me picking up the wine glass in February this year. Five months of off and on drinking each night and I got another viral infection. Doc says no problems with liver (somehow doubt this as too much alcohol passed thru my liver for too many years) but I quit again on July 29th. My body is tired and my soul and emotions are threadbare but I want to make this happen. Getting old (61) sucks but getting old with feeling foggy is worse. Look forward to the day when my head clears. Why do doctors not want to address the issues with alcoholics? Seems all they want to do is ignore it and throw a pill at depression.

NorMar

Something about that 3 am hour that I always liked too. It was still part of last night, not really tomorrow yet (if that makes any sense.) About 4 am people around here start getting up and going to work at the oil refineries, cars are starting, etc. That meant it would be light soon, Damn.

I drank heavy for 30+ years, quit when I retired and it got out of control. Yep, getting old (65) sucks, big time. But I can't imagine the money I've saved, and the health issues I've avoided by being sober the past 4 years.

Most doctors will take the easy way out and throw a bottle of pill at a patient as a quick and easy fix. Actually lots of people probably prefer that instead of dealing with the real problem.

Dee74

Welcome back
whats your plan from here JustWokeUp?

D

FreeOwl

welcome back. I recently passed the eight month mark. For the first time.... ever. Since I was in my teens. It feels really great and I am continuing on with it, despite occasional nagging thoughts of "maybe someday" or brief moments of frustration and struggle with wishing I was able to join in with the others....

It took me a nearly six month sobriety, and prior to that a nearly three month sobriety, and interspersed along the past 10 years or so - several secret inner attempts to moderate or not drink here and there which all proved miserable failures.

I'm glad you're back and I'm glad you're back to thirty days!

Stick around and keep it up!

least

Glad you're back doing it again.

Justwokeup

Dee I am taking one day at a time. Left the high stress job, walking five miles a day, definitely need to be in the sunshine before the winter and concentrating on being prepared for the birth of a new grandchild at the end of this month. I have found a "sponsor" at my church who I have finally been able to reveal my issues to and just having someone to talk to is wonderful. My husband is an alcoholic but has no desire to quit and resents me doing so. Every time he goes to the liquor store he still asks me what I want. Happy to say I am telling him "not a thing". Hard not to be tempted as he starts drinking at 4 PM and continues to 8 PM every night. There is just something "different" about me wanting to and quitting this time. In the last 30 days I only felt an urge one time and called my friend. Am sure it is God's hands working in my life. I now have the want to never take another drink but again my doc said he did not believe I would be classified as an alcoholic. Think that if I think it it is so. Thanks for asking and although I know the journey will be hard, I am not going to give up on me. One day at a time, just getting thru the foggy head and praying. Thanks everyone. There is safety in numbers

bunnezjp

Once I let go of the control and will into God's hands, I began to find my Serenity.

Bunnez

Justwokeup

Hard day. Lord, give me strength to deal with anxiety and mind running in 100 directions.

Soberwolf

Hang in there it will pass I promise keep posting

Or maybe a blog of what your experiencing for future reference?

Justwokeup

Day 36......still having foggy head and balance is way off, that may be age but suspect too many years of alcohol. Have still not had the urge to pick up a drink, i put God in control this time. I found by eating dinner earlier (used to be 8 pm, now 6 pm) that i am less apt to want a drink. I have found that I not only have to change the drinking habit but the habits that made it easier to drink and change habits to make me healthier. I also have found that alcoholism is not just a drinking thing in my case but a result of many life issues. Thanks for listening.

PurpleKnight

You're right, it's not only about not drinking, but also how do we manage our day to stop facilitating alcohol, sounds like good progress!!

I do that now too, earlier dinner, I used to drink when I got home and then maybe completely skip dinner!!

Great job on Day 36!!

Justwokeup

Day 39, can deal with the urges (few and far between) but the foggy head is the worst! Feel like I am sitting in a corner watching myself do things. Fuzzy, fuzzy, fuzzy. Never remember having foggy head when I was drinking, guess the alcohol numbed the fog???

Notimetoloose

Congratulations on 39 days that is awesome.
Everyone is different, I was way of...fuzzy thinking, bad concentration and I felt like it would never get better but at the same time I knew it had to...I am not sure when the thinking got better as it was gradual. Unfortunately the first 3 months I felt mentally disconnected. I t does get better, hang in there..it is worth it.

Dee74

Great going justwokeup

D