Seriously considering AA
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Seriously considering AA
Some of you may recall my post about AA here in Italy, particularly the very small town that I am in. I was heavily warned against attending by many close friends. They told me that aa here is not the same as in the us of the uk and attending is seen as a horrible thing. But I just can't do this alone, I can't. You all have been amazing, really and truly. But I keep falling back into drinking and I want sobriety so bad I am willing to go to any length. I just don't care anymore what people might think or say. I am planning to go and not tell anyone. How bad can it be?
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Join Date: Jul 2014
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Oh and I wanted to add that my town has just one meeting a week. The meeting next week will correspond with a visit from a friend of mine who has been sober from alcohol and drugs for 8 years. She did this with the help of AA. I want to ask her if she'll go with me. I'm on the fence though as she is traveling with her girlfriend, it is a special trip for them as they just got engaged, and they will only be here a week. She also doesn't speak a word of Italian so she would be lost a bored for an hour-or however long the meetings last. I'll think about it though.....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 167
Maybe your friends don't want you to go because they will be losing a drinking buddy. Where are they getting their information from? There is no harm in going and you can decide for yourself if it was worthwhile. Stick to your plan and attend the meeting.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Sorry to read that you continue to struggle. I think it's good to gather has much recovery help as you can.
Then meeting is next week. What will you do until then?
I don't know what your most recent struggle has been, but you might want to look into Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT). Most of our relaspes can be attributed to that relentless voice (our addiction) that tells us we deserve a drink, we don't have a problem, we can handle a party or going into a bar. The AV...the voice that overrides our rational decision to quit IF WE LET IT.
You might get ready for your meeting by reading the Big Book of AA. There are versions online.
Good luck.
Then meeting is next week. What will you do until then?
I don't know what your most recent struggle has been, but you might want to look into Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT). Most of our relaspes can be attributed to that relentless voice (our addiction) that tells us we deserve a drink, we don't have a problem, we can handle a party or going into a bar. The AV...the voice that overrides our rational decision to quit IF WE LET IT.
You might get ready for your meeting by reading the Big Book of AA. There are versions online.
Good luck.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Meraviglioso, I'm not sure why there's a different perception of AA there, but by all means, do what is going to help you! I'd try to put out of my mind the judgements of others. Others are going to judge us no matter what it is we do in life. That's just a fact.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi. I’ve been in AA close to 4 decades and had many fears about going all because of ignorance. I was taught by the old time hard liners that with a glance, or so it seemed, when someone was BSing and call them on it. Today things are much gentler and softer because people understand and are in person to hold a hand and give a hug when needed.
We probably hear things we don’t want to hear but it’s for our benefit and we soon look back at our fears and chuckle to ourselves.
I recall talking to my first sponsor about a problem I had and he quickly shot back I only had one problem and that was drinking, the rest are situations! Boy did I hate that but he was correct. Part of my/our processing is many are undisciplined and controlling and then find sobriety to be difficult. This results in a need for schooling in order to adapt to a sober lifestyle.
I was taught that getting and staying sober was my number one job before family, job or anything else, boy did I reject that until I saw the light that without being sober the other things would be beyond reach.
Never in my period of drinking did I think that being comfortable in my own skin would be a major feeling/accomplishment.
As far as understanding the language, I’ve done a fair amount of travel since being sober and in just about all non English speaking meetings I’ve attended the love, welcome, comfort, understanding and electric feeling in the rooms is a common language, ask others who have experienced it.
BE WELL
We probably hear things we don’t want to hear but it’s for our benefit and we soon look back at our fears and chuckle to ourselves.
I recall talking to my first sponsor about a problem I had and he quickly shot back I only had one problem and that was drinking, the rest are situations! Boy did I hate that but he was correct. Part of my/our processing is many are undisciplined and controlling and then find sobriety to be difficult. This results in a need for schooling in order to adapt to a sober lifestyle.
I was taught that getting and staying sober was my number one job before family, job or anything else, boy did I reject that until I saw the light that without being sober the other things would be beyond reach.
Never in my period of drinking did I think that being comfortable in my own skin would be a major feeling/accomplishment.
As far as understanding the language, I’ve done a fair amount of travel since being sober and in just about all non English speaking meetings I’ve attended the love, welcome, comfort, understanding and electric feeling in the rooms is a common language, ask others who have experienced it.
BE WELL
2Cor5:17
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Between Doctor's opinion & pg 164
Posts: 4,187
I believe your doing the right thing! Absolutely 500% in favor coz do it for yourself not others. Quit listening to those that don't really have your best interest in mind. As for friends, there's plenty in the room & around the world
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,909
Go! And definitely tell your friend. I think you will find relief in it and your friend will be happy to listen and help. Time to stop worrying about other people, be "selfish", put your sobriety first. There's nothing more important that you can do in your life right now. Do whatever you need to do until it works for you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Originally Posted by ghostdad 
Maybe your friends don't want you to go because they will be losing a drinking buddy. Where are they getting their information from? There is no harm in going and you can decide for yourself if it was worthwhile. Stick to your plan and attend the meeting.
That said, and fully acknowledged, I don't are anymore. I need help, period.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by Meraviglioso
No, it isn't that, I don't have any alcoholic friends here, all my friends here drink responsibly. My friends have warned me that because alcoholism is so little understood here, and also rare, seeking support is almost worse than being a drunk. Those close to me warned that being seen going into a meeting would have majorly negative consequences in terms of my daily life.
That said, and fully acknowledged, I don't are anymore. I need help, period.
That said, and fully acknowledged, I don't are anymore. I need help, period.
As posted above we go to any lengths, that might mean leaving the country.
BE WELL
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
WOW!
Incredible honesty in your post........I know nothing, zero, zip about the culture of where you live. The very fact you have posted the perceptions and your trepidation in going is to be highly commended.
Good for you recognizing that you can't do it alone. I read a lot of good people on here who seems to be able to gain quality sobriety without face to face support. My hats off to them - this should not be equated to being strong, but may in fact be their pride. Not judging, whatever works , works. Only mention it because you(we) should not feel you are inferior.
No way that works for me - tried, tried, tried for a very long time. I would imagine the people you'll find at the meeting are among the most sincere and courageous around. To admit they need the help of others. This really is showing STRENGTH and not weakness btw....
Been sober just a brief time period of 82 days today. Providence intervened in my life by bringing AA to me.
Imagine the person you may meet to help you on your journey ( sponsorship ). Even though there's only one meeting per week, the resource of having that person and others to call/meet with for coffee etc in between groups is priceless.
Are these open meetings or closed???? If they are open, the admission your an alcoholic is unnecessary. Either way, GOOD FOR YOU!!!
peace my friend,,,,,,
Incredible honesty in your post........I know nothing, zero, zip about the culture of where you live. The very fact you have posted the perceptions and your trepidation in going is to be highly commended.
Good for you recognizing that you can't do it alone. I read a lot of good people on here who seems to be able to gain quality sobriety without face to face support. My hats off to them - this should not be equated to being strong, but may in fact be their pride. Not judging, whatever works , works. Only mention it because you(we) should not feel you are inferior.
No way that works for me - tried, tried, tried for a very long time. I would imagine the people you'll find at the meeting are among the most sincere and courageous around. To admit they need the help of others. This really is showing STRENGTH and not weakness btw....
Been sober just a brief time period of 82 days today. Providence intervened in my life by bringing AA to me.
Imagine the person you may meet to help you on your journey ( sponsorship ). Even though there's only one meeting per week, the resource of having that person and others to call/meet with for coffee etc in between groups is priceless.
Are these open meetings or closed???? If they are open, the admission your an alcoholic is unnecessary. Either way, GOOD FOR YOU!!!
peace my friend,,,,,,
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
Meraviglioso (love that name, btw!) - without a doubt please ask your friend if she will go with you to the meeting next week - even though she doesn't speak Italian she will understand the key elements of the meeting and will be able to perhaps explain some of it afterwards to you. Further, if it is an 'open' meeting her girlfriend could go too if she would like to, as support to you and your friend. Whatever is going to help you should be the things that you try, whether AA, AVRT, Smart Recovery, here at SR, counselling, prayer, meditation etc etc.
I wish you the very best and hope to hear how you get on
PS I love, just love Italy but have not been for a visit in over 10 years (so sad)... such a beautiful and vibrant country... I miss it and would love to go and visit again sometime...
I wish you the very best and hope to hear how you get on
PS I love, just love Italy but have not been for a visit in over 10 years (so sad)... such a beautiful and vibrant country... I miss it and would love to go and visit again sometime...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Thanks for all the feedback. I'm going to give it a go. It is at a really inconvenient place and time, but I'll try to arrange for childcare and such. I saw online that there are daily meetings in the nearest large town, but that would require a 1 hour 40 minute train ride each way, plus a lengthy walk. It would be a 5 or 6 hour ordeal to attend, not to mention the cost of the train tickets. I could drive, which would only be an hour each way, but the cost of fuel and tolls is crazy and then there is driving and parking in the city which is an absolute nightmare. I am not sure I can manage that with the kids, work, etc.
I'll have to look around and see what other options i have.
I am doing much better than I was. I fall but immediately pick myself back up again. I have periods of no alcohol in between these slips. I never had that before. I am getting closer to absolute sobriety, I know it, I've never been this close in all my attempts at stopping. I just need an extra push right now, extra support.
I'll have to look around and see what other options i have.
I am doing much better than I was. I fall but immediately pick myself back up again. I have periods of no alcohol in between these slips. I never had that before. I am getting closer to absolute sobriety, I know it, I've never been this close in all my attempts at stopping. I just need an extra push right now, extra support.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by Meraviglioso
Oh and I wanted to add that my town has just one meeting a week. The meeting next week will correspond with a visit from a friend of mine who has been sober from alcohol and drugs for 8 years. She did this with the help of AA. I want to ask her if she'll go with me. I'm on the fence though as she is traveling with her girlfriend, it is a special trip for them as they just got engaged, and they will only be here a week. She also doesn't speak a word of Italian so she would be lost a bored for an hour-or however long the meetings last. I'll think about it though.....
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