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As an SR community can I ask everyone that wants to share

Old 08-28-2014, 04:09 PM
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As an SR community can I ask everyone that wants to share

Why did/do you drink? Why did you/do you want to stop? How did you find Sober Recovery? If there is one thing you could share with this community that would add value in your mind what would it be?

So, I am curious about everyones experience, how did you get where you got, what would you offer a newcomer like me or any newcomer.

My experience, I drank as a way to soothe my pain, my regret, my self loathing, to assist with mental issues and to get over pain I had regarding a deep seated gambling addiction.

I wan't to stop drinking because my health is not well, I don't like the person i've become and this is truly starting to control my life. I hate the feeling of being controlled by an inanimate object that kills!

If I could share anything with this community its get help. Get lots of help post like you've never posted. Ask for suggestions and guidance, know that the people here won't judge, and most of all I love reading about peoples experiences so as much as I share mine i want to share in your recovery. So get help, never be ashamed, and no matter what know that SR and the people here do care.

Just wanting to here everyone's story, so many here have helped me and shared in my experience I want to share in yours ,and hear what you want heard. Even if you are actively drinking please reply, let this community help you too. That is what the fourms are for right?

Good night to you all, looking forward to hearing from you friends, and stay safe and sober as always. I am no longer a delivery guy, but in my heart I will always be one! Be kind to yourself, Jeremy
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Old 08-28-2014, 04:35 PM
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I started off in pubs with the lsds etc I moved to a new area eventually found alcohol through one of my mums blackouts and it became gradual over years

Fast forward 2009 my mum dies ten years sober thru t.cancer after 3 months my alcoholism explodes I go rage crazy cold AWOL on the world my health deterioted to the point it just became normal for me to get rushed to hospital from vomiting blood and gastroenteritis one day with a bucket full of blood I just looked at my gf I said I'm beat I'm not winning fast forward 3 months of intense trying failing 2 house fires I got sober here I am at 13 months a brand new man completed 2 college courses starting mining training in September bought a brand new oven saving up for massive king size bed and doing the house up

Posting on here has become so much for so many different ppl who I really enjoy conversating with and I suggest you immerse yourself in the forum it has so much knowledge


Check my blog for more or send msg

SPK soon
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Old 08-28-2014, 05:43 PM
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I drank because I am an introvert and extremely shy. Actually I have had people describe me as "odd" the first time I met them. The thing is that, when I get to know people, or when I am with my friends or with one or two people, I can just talk normally, but with strangers or large groups I just clam up. I dislike making small talk as well, but I am making myself smile and say hello to people I meet, the cashier at the shop, or the new guy who makes my coffee. Actually we had a nice chat yesterday. I asked him where he's from and he was telling me about his country.

My best friend says I am the sweetest, kindest person she knows, but I have to learn to accept my shyness. I am trying to focus on other people more and less on myself.

I started drinking in college and it became worse when I entered the world of work. At the moment I am unemployed and working on my sobriety. I see a therapist once a week and I see an addictions therapist as well. I really feel that therapy is helping. There is loads of help out there. We just have to ask!
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Old 08-28-2014, 06:38 PM
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I posted this the other day, but I'll repost here. This realization has made a big difference.

Having been on and off the wagon many times since I joined last year, I was feeling like it was hopeless. I hated myself for not having any willpower...which is great for fueling depression. Last night I woke up at around 2:00 am, and it hit me: "I have all the willpower I will ever need...it's my addiction that has none." I understood, in my head, the concept behind The Addictive Voice, but it never worked for me. I couldn't integrate The Beast, I think that's what they call it, concept into my recovery. I finally understood it last night...whatever you want to call it, looking at it as a disease, addiction, AV, Beast... Once I could separate myself from the addiction of drinking it all made sense. This is a major breakthrough for me. MAJOR!!! My addiction has no willpower, I have PLENTY!!! Anyway, I just had to post this (mostly to organize it in my head).
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Old 08-28-2014, 07:00 PM
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I drank because it temporarily filled the "spiritual hole" deep within me.

In other words, the effect produced by alcohol was "God like"

Joe & Charlie in their big book study said ... "we drank because of the promises"

here is what they mean

(1) Whenever we drank alcohol we were going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

(2) Whenever we drank alcohol we would not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

(3) Whenever we drank alcohol we would comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.

(4) Whenever we drank alcohol, no matter how far down the scale we had gone, we could see how our experience can benefit others.

(5) Whenever we drank alcohol that feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

(6) Whenever we drank alcohol we would lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

(7) Whenever we drank alcohol self-seeking will slip away.

(8) Whenever we drank alcohol our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

(9) When we drank alcohol ,fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

(10) Whenever we drank alcohol, we would intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

(11) Whenever we drank alcohol We would suddenly realize that Alcohol is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Replace the word alcohol with God & there you have it. How it works !!!!
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Old 08-29-2014, 03:46 AM
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I grew up in an abusive home. My father beat the crap out of my brothers (I have 6 siblings-some of my sibs are much older than I am). When my parents divorced, we lived in horrible poverty and my older brothers were drinking and using drugs. They took over where my father left off. The house was filled with violence. My brothers wreaking havoc at all hours of the day and night-breaking things, beating each other up, beating me up etc...My mother couldn't handle it and began beating me as well. She never hit the other kids in my family. I think she was too afraid of them. But me, she started beating when I was 6 yrs old.

As an adult, this didn't stop. Two of my brothers beat me up. I married a man in the navy and moved 1200 miles away and 3 of my siblings found me and showed up on my doorstep. All using and all causing problems. One brother used to leave me death threats on my answering machine.

My entire life, I have suffered from severe anxiety which also led to some OCD issues. I don't know how many nights I have walked around checking all the window and doors to makke sure they were locked so my sibliings couldn't break in.

Oddly enough, I took the same route to deal witth my problems that my sibliings did. I drank to numb the panic attacks and fear.

I was never the violent drunk that my siblings are-I was the hiding drunk but a drunk just the same. I took a good look at my husband and kids, how withdrawn I had become and how it was effecting them. I needed to break this family chain for their sake and mine. I went to them (my kids are older) told them I was an alcoholic, apologized to them all and told them I needed their help. They have forgiven me and have been very supportive.

I tried AA but because of my panic disorder, speaking in groups is a problem. I looked online and found SR. I had to find group support that would work for me and SR has been great. So here I am, day 13 and sober.
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Old 08-29-2014, 04:47 AM
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Why did I drink? Many reasons, I liked the giddy feeling that it gave me. It didn't start as a problem. It heightened under three specific circumstances. First, it made me a member of the cool kids club at school, later and second, my first husband who was abusive and controlling would not allow me to drink because he didn't like to see me happy so when we divorced I went full throttle with it because I could. Finally, when I remarried it was to a hardcore alcoholic and drinking became a nightly event. I'm now divorced from him but if I had to pinpoint when in my life I crossed the threshold that's it. None of these are excuses they're all reasons that led to my demise between wanting and needing to drink and to where I am today.

After my marriage to the hardcore alcoholic and our divorce I met someone who was not a problem drinker. He also knew my ex and I proclaimed that I only had a problem because I had been married to my ex. It soon became apparent that I had trouble of my own. That was 15 years ago. The span of the last 15 years has been trying to quit, sometimes putting in the effort, sometimes half trying and just making it look good. Each time I quit and went back it got worse. I even had it down to weekends with the occasional weekday thrown in. However, on the weekends just give me the beer and keep your hands away from my face. It was no longer about the fun it was about the party and how long I could make it last.

Then, something happened. Well, bad things began to happen. I became Jekyl and Hyde when I drank. I ended up with a DTE (reduced OUI), lost a career job, and a year ago in May it almost ended my marriage. You would think that those three things are what I'm saying made me quit but they're not.

What made me finally quit was the realization that I had lost myself. I truly believe that's when I was getting ready to move from an extreme problem drinker to the doorway of no return. It was the realization that what came in a bottle was more important to me than anything else in my life. That the only thing that I looked forward to every waking moment was the point in time that I would be able to tip that bottle to my lips. Not to mention that whereas I would sit and drink and truly enjoy the buzz previously, that had stopped. Now when I opened a beer I would drink about 1/4 of it and as I continued to drink for the next 10 minutes I would feel relief. That would quickly turn to NEED. That 10 minutes began to dwindle as well where the range of enjoyment dissipated down to about the first wave of the buzz and sometimes not even that. It was not enjoyment, it was all about where that next beer was coming from and how long I could make the night last. It was about total and complete annihilation. Wow, what fun.

I could say that I drank because of all the crap that happened in my past. I could say that I drank because my ice cream fell on the floor the wrong way. I could say that I drank because it made me more fun. All lies. I drank because I needed to drink. All the rest are just excuses to continue. At the end really I drank because I hated myself for drinking. So what did I do to make myself feel better? I drank. It's pure insanity.

The day that I realized that I was so addicted to a substance that it was more important to me than everything, and took precedence no matter the circumstance, was the day that I said "What the hell am I doing?" It was the day that I finally accepted that I can't drink. Point blank. As scared as I was of the future all the denial seeped out of me and I was left standing in my kitchen that morning with full enlightenment and knowledge. It was the day of my awakening, May 27, 2013. It was the first day of the rest of my life.

It was a really rough road in the beginning and I found SR by doing a search online about sobriety. This place has been the difference for me many times between continuing on and just giving up. I read posts from people here and it gives me strength. I revel in successes and I'm thankful when I see posts from people who went back to the demon and have returned. We're all fighting the good fight and I have never felt closer to a group of people than I do to everyone here. My pain is truly understood and so are my successes. I read posts from those in pain and deeply identify and smile when I see posts from those who succeed. I'm consistently reminded that this is hard work no matter where you are in the battle.

If I could offer one thing that helped me through all this besides this board it's honesty. Full and complete honesty with one's self. Whoever said that you can't lie to yourself never experienced addiction because oh yes you can. It's finding out how to not do that. One way is by coming here and posting when you feel a craving. Make yourself listen to the replies and let that knowledge and experience overrule everything that your head wants to tell you. If you do that you will win this. In addiction you are your own worst enemy because you'll talk yourself right into it every time. The people on this board will help you not to do that.

You just have to listen.
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Old 08-29-2014, 05:13 AM
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Hi All

As somebody who has only attended a couple of AA meetings and I am nervous about when I will be called to share so I penned something I thought to convey which my enlighten you on this topic. remember it is a bit of a speech but here you go.

"Hello All

I thought I need to introduce myself. Hi I am XXX and I am an alcoholic, you know that is the first time I have said that publically . It has taken me many trials, tribulations and late nights to begin to admit that to myself an you know what I don’t know if I really do believe that yet but I think I must the lies and half truths you tell yourself they are so much easier to believe.
My personality and upbringing is I don’t fail, men are strong, men don’t show emotion, we provide, I have had high power jobs, house, money stuff, employed lots of people run large projects etc I cant be an alcoholic well I think I am wrong and I was slipping into a form of insanity trying to be everythingto everyone who did not matter and taking my eyes off those that mattered

I reflected a lot on what I here at these meeting and a lot of it rang true and put up a lot of red flags, I was drained when I left and I knew when I came to speak it would be difficult to but I will try so excuse me if I jump around.

So why am I here most of the bad things and experiences in my life revolved around alcohol but you know what through either sheer good luck or good management I always bounced back and damage was limited but each episode erodes your soul and those whom you loves respect of you and you know what incidents were becoming more and more prevalent and there are things I have done which I am not proud and will likely share as I become more comfortable at later times.

I got away with it more often than not but was slipping into a place were alcohol was consuming my thoughts, not drinking in mornings but hey had a few at work , head all over the place dwelling on every little issue not being a good husband or father.

I have three kids and mostly insulate them from alcohol and a wife who does not drink and for whom I don’t really offer the support she deserves why because I was pissed and would work hard being pass out half the time not remembering bed. Luckily I am not traditionally an angry drunk or violent thank god but I could pay out at times but sometimes the worse wounds are not physical

So why am I here something needs to change and I know the world wont and its unfair to ask innocent others to do so I must.

I know that now and I know I need to put the grog away pay my penance and become a better person and I am hoping support, judgment somebody to be frank with will help me in this but I will share a story with you which I am proud.

My wife went into labour and like any dad to be I headed off at a rate of knots to the hospital but you know what I stopped at a bottle shop and bought travellers along the way as I knew I would be there for a while and why not I don’t know why but I did so I suppose I am an alcoholic"

That is what bought me here I need to heal for myself and those close to me .

5 days sober today
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Old 08-29-2014, 05:29 AM
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Originally Posted by LadyBlue0527 View Post
I could say that I drank because of all the crap that happened in my past. I could say that I drank because my ice cream fell on the floor the wrong way. I could say that I drank because it made me more fun. All lies. I drank because I needed to drink. All the rest are just excuses to continue. At the end really I drank because I hated myself for drinking. So what did I do to make myself feel better? I drank. It's pure insanity.
The day that I realized that I was so addicted to a substance that it was more important to me than everything, and took precedence no matter the circumstance, was the day that I said "What the hell am I doing?" It was the day that I finally accepted that I can't drink. Point blank. As scared as I was of the future all the denial seeped out of me and I was left standing in my kitchen that morning with full enlightenment and knowledge. It was the day of my awakening, May 27, 2013. It was the first day of the rest of my life.


If I could offer one thing that helped me through all this besides this board it's honesty. Full and complete honesty with one's self. Whoever said that you can't lie to yourself never experienced addiction because oh yes you can. It's finding out how to not do that. One way is by coming here and posting when you feel a craving. Make yourself listen to the replies and let that knowledge and experience overrule everything that your head wants to tell you. If you do that you will win this. In addiction you are your own worst enemy because you'll talk yourself right into it every time. The people on this board will help you not to do that.

You just have to listen.


LB you hit so many things I identify with, in fact most of them. The pain, insanity, escape, deep feelings and on and on.
I didn’t know what I didn’t know and being undisciplined stayed on that drinking path for far too long. With some sort of awakening I found that self honesty about my drinking along with the acceptance that I could not ever drink in safety became clear in my foggy brain.
Then the ever important word CONTINUED work enters the equation OF STAYING SOBER.
I feel the numbers of alcoholics that remain sober could be a lot higher if we don’t slack off in our daily maintenance of staying sober. As is said, the built in forgetter kicks in and sobriety takes second place.
Again great post.

BE WELL
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Old 08-29-2014, 06:01 AM
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I grew up around Ivy League educated people and children of them. I never could match their academic prowess or expectations. The result was a person extremely introverted with a lack of self confidence. Started using all kinds of stuff in early teens but stopped everything but alcohol. Like most users I never needed a single reason to use because all reasons worked.

I still see highly intelligent people drinking heavily around me and shake my head as to how they do it. It almost seems like an epidemic. I know I can't do it anymore. The fact is I look forward to having clear thoughts and better communication skills. I don't want to die a brain dead introvert in the corner.
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Old 08-29-2014, 06:10 AM
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Well lets see.

It started off because I had an abusive childhood, so I'd stay away for days with my friends drinking vodka in bus stops and parks.

It was an escape.

Then I got taken into care following an incident where I was beaten so badly the hospital brought in social services. I actually didn't drink very much then, I was pretty happy.

I turned 18, no more social services, I couldn't get a job in time and I was homeless. On the street I started drinking and smoking to deal with the pain. Sometimes I wonder how many people drink because they're homeless compared to how many are homeless because they drink. Anyway, after a few years on the streets I got a shot as a labourer. I worked and saved up enough money to get a flat.

But by then I was addicted. From that point on it's just been habit.

That's pretty much it. I don't know what woke me up that night and made the lightbulb go off in my head. If I were a religious man, I'd probably say somebody was looking out for me. I'm 29 years young now, determined to go into my thirties a new man.
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