happyandfree

I just passed 200 days, yesterday. Very happy about that and it's been ok under very controlled conditions. I don't have alcohol in my house, don't go out to bars, and am not around it at all. But I have a family reunion at thanksgiving coming up. I'm already worried about it. It will be at my house. All my siblings, cousins, and other relatives will be here and when we all get together, it's party time. And I was always quite the party girl. Anyone have any experience with this type of situation? I did mention my concern to my sister and she said she probably won't drink either. So I suppose I could hang with her. But I am afraid I will be overwhelmed with a desire to drink since most everyone else will be drinking. And I may be stressed with all the cooking and preparation and give in. Help! I do have plenty of time to figure this out and make a plan. I somehow need to prepare myself mentally for this.

Tonymblue

Mocktails maybe. I hate social situations. Have always caused my relapses. Walking around with something in my hand helped. Man is alcohol so prevalent in our society.

happyandfree

It's especially prevalent in my family! Mock tails is a good idea - or at least something super extra special to drink. Maybe ill make a big bowl of some wonderful NA punch. And focusing on the positive, like spending time with family clear headed and not drunk and sloppy. I'm going to write down reasons NOT to drink.

Inchworm

I love that your sister will join you in sobriety. I just hosted a large family gathering to meet an Italian cousin for the first time. She and I and the kids remained sober throughout and we had a blast. It can be done.

autumn2

I know this may not be an option to you,but I would skip out on it this year. Spending a lovely holiday with my immediate family would be sufficient (husband and kids). If I thought this would make me fall off,I wouldn't even take that chance.

andyroo72

Hey there,

If it was me I'd have a definite escape plan or at the very least a plan to get some breathing space. I haven't yet been in a drinking situation where I've needed to come up with anything more creative than 'Hey, sorry, I've got to go,' but when I do I'm not averse to coming up with a bit of a story. Maybe having a migraine and needing to go for a walk round the block. Even faking a phone call and having a low key personal emergency. I dunno, I guess it is somewhat deceitful, but my call is it's worth it.

Soberwolf

This happened to me last Christmas when I was 5 months lots of ppl lots of drinking

I told everyone I had stopped drinking and that I don't drink no more !

It was a tough test but I got through it they can drink iI never want to drink poison again I hate alcohol its disgusting

You can do this

Notmyrealname

You got this. 200 days. Just don't drink. You know you're not missing out on anything worthwhile, just a lot of illness and regret to be had by picking up. You don't get to 200 days without figuring some things out.

Oh, and you might want to leave before everyone gets too sloppy

KDBnSLC

Is there anyway to have the reunion at someone else's house? That way you can leave if you need to. Otherwise make a plan. Ask your sister to change "PROBABLY not drink" to "not drink" as a support for you. If none of the above is possible, then just commit that you WILL NOT DRINK. It might be eye opening for you to see what alcohol actually does to people when you can stand back and watch objectively. Good luck. Stay close to SR. Even post as it's happening (time to get a smart phone) so that you can have us "there" with you. Technology is good.

Venecia

Happy, here's my two cents: cancel it.

I was in a similar situation earlier this year -- a get-together of my college friends and my turn to host. It is always fun, but always lots of drinks.

It came down to priorities -- and the knowledge, gleaned from friends here on SR, that these types of gatherings are a bigger challenge to our sobriety than we might even know. It's not just the booze but also the stress inherent in hosting. You're already anticipating the temptation, which ought to tell you something.

How about a nice email to family letting them know, this far in advance, that you're asking for someone else to step up to the plate this year. And that in 2015, you'll be happy to host. You don't owe much of an explanation.

It worked in my situation. In fact, I didn't even attend the get-together, which took place one week before my one-year sober anniversary. It was just too important and the stakes were too high.

doggonecarl

Your house...your rules. And you already told us there is no alcohol in your house. Now tell your family there isn't going to be any alcohol there. Emphatically let them know you do not mean BYOB. You mean NO alcohol. And do it soon to give sufficient time for the drinkers to cancel if they can't handle it.

You are not obligated to host a drinking party. It's a reunion...at Thanksgiving for goodness sake.

LBrain

think of it as having another three months of sobriety in your back pocket. you are in charge of what happens.

ccam1973

You've go this Happy. Even this early on, don't give your mind any sliver of a chance at listening to your AV. It will start lying to you any chance it sees a window of opportunity.

Your house, your choice, your strength that WILL prevail.

Drinking is not an option for someone who simply does not drink; not today, not tomorrow, not for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's eve, Not Ever Again!

200 days is an awesome accomplishment and in another 90 days you will be even stronger.

We've got your back.

MIRecovery

I could not agree more. Reunions are about family not drinking. You will ruffle a few feathers but who cares. My house is a place I feel safe and I will not compromise that for anyone . My sobriety has to be #1 because my life depends on it

If you were fatally allergic to peanuts would have any problems telling people not to bring them?

happyandfree

Thanks everyone. I like the my house, my rules idea. I'm going to give that some thought. I certainly don't allow cigarette smoking in my house... I can't cancel. It's really in the works and started out small and then kinda exploded cause everyone wanted to come. I also like the suggestion of asking my sister to not drink with me. And my other sister also. I think they will do it...so that should help. I'm going to at least really downplay alcohol consumption and will not buy any. In the past I have bought cases of wine and beer. I'll figure it out. I will prepare myself mentally and commit to not throwing away my sobriety. It will take some strength and determination, but I think I can do it. For all I know, maybe it won't be as bad as im anticipating. I was probably the one who drank the most anyway in the past. Well, me and a few others. I can do it. I know I will feel good about myself if I can. I will stick close to you guys when the time comes.