justine

Hi Everyone I Havnt Posted For A Few Weeks As I Have Just Come Out Of A Bad Period Of My Recovery.what A Dark Place That I Hope I Never Have To Go Back To.
I Was Doing Extremely Well For The First 3mths And Started Thinking "how Easy Is This!!!what Was I Afraid Of?" Well To All You Out There Just Starting And Thinking The Same Thing Be Prepared For A Reality Check That Will Really Test Your Strength And Have You Wondering Why You Are Doing This.
I Was On Such A High For Them First Months Only To Come Crashing Back Down To Earth.i Am Happy To Say I Did Not Let It Get The Better Of Me But Now Completley, Without A Doubt, Understand The Reasons Behind Relapse!as This Is My Longest Time Clean It Is The First Time I Have Experienced It. All The Other Attemps I Have Made In The Past Were Quick Failures So I Wasnt Really Giving Up Much To Take Steps Back But This Time I Reminded Myself Of How Far I Have Come And What A Waste To Give Up Now!!
Depression Is A Scary, Scary Thing!!!!
I Am Glad It Is Over For A Now Though I Am Sure I Will Have To Go Through It Again In The Future.i Am Just Thankful I Came Through This Time With No Slip-ups.i Cant Let This Thing Beat Me Though Because It Has Taken Enough From Me.
Please Someone Tell Me I Will Not Be Tested Like This Forever!!!!
Like The Saying Goes Hey "one Day At A Time"!!!

spirit

hi justine, thanks for your PM!

so glad you have survived. my first attempt i only lasted three months and that feelling of being bullet proof really sneaks up on you doesnt it!!. big congrats for not getting dragged back down!


remember you are a living breathing example of strength and recovery.

hugs to you
from the other sandgroper
kath

Anna

Hi Justine,

I'm glad you're back and I'm so glad you got through the scary part. I really didn't experience the 'pink cloud' thing because I was so overwhelmed with guilt, so even though I felt good I was still struggling. I know though, that many people talk about this and I'm glad you were aware and dealt with it. What I learned is that stoppin drinking is only the beginning and that's when the real work begins.

Keep posting.

Love, Anna

Dan

Some of us were just talking about our dark places last night.
That we come out of them somehow with a new focus on our recovery is perhaps a gift that justifies the time we spend in there.
Progress indeed.
Glad to see you Justine.

kckman

Justine, glad you are back and this thread is a good line of thought. the way i am thinking no matter what there is always going to be temptation. the giant (my addict) does not ever die it just quiets down. it is patient and always looking for any way to get its fix. it is important for me to know myself well. i have a weakness and playing with it is playing with fire. it will burn me for sure. stay strong.

justine

Thanx guys!!