jc1983

I realized last night sitting at dinner and watching a housemate of mine pour herself a glass of wine how much I actually dislike alcohol. It was a strange discovery, like sitting near an ex you remember being in love with yet feeling all the hurt and betrayal of a breakup or realization they weren't faithful to you.

There's a longing but a firm desire to never ever go there again.

That's how I feel about drinking after a few weeks away from it. It's the toxic relationship I always needed to walk away from but never could for years. I'm fortunate in that I live with people who respect that I said I've given up drinking and don't offer me glasses or throw their own in my face.

They can drink socially, one or two glasses and I respect (and envy) that. I have a stubborn streak a mile wide (its how I managed to lose 20kg by refusing to give in to temptations) and I know I'm through with booze but its funny sometimes how moments of total clarity hit you.

I guess evenings without alcohol make you realize how much more is really going on.