Alcohol and finances
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 4
Alcohol and finances
Hello all! :-)
Long time lurker here.
I am a 27yr old alcoholic, been abusing alcohol for the last 7 years.
I am lucky enough to be in a stable job for the last 4 years. If it wasnt for the alcohol, roughly I would have about £30,000 savings right now, guess how much I have? £500. Why? Because of my addiction to get drunk and visit brothels.
Alcohol is what fuells everything. If I stop drinking for a week, I become very sensible in other words 'normal' once I relapse it is vicious cycle all over again.
If I wasnt such a loser, (yes a loser) I would have enough money to mortgage a house with my best friend and rent it, (he is complete opposite of me).
Or I could have opened a small business with my other friend, or could have mortgagded a small studio and find a girl to marry and settle down.
Last year I got banned for drink driving, my licence is due back in october, and I couldnt even save for a car. I feel like I already failed at life. I smoke 2 packs a day, I think my lungs are more damaged than my liver.
I had many chances of settling down with beautiful women, but I eventually pushed then out of my life thinking I dont deserve them, I always feel like a nocturnal animal, always thinking about drink, but I stop for a few days sometimes, and I see the sparkle on my eyes and I generally feel happy but keep relapsing.
I always wanted to post on here but didnt want to do it while Im drunk, here I am, sat in my office, ready for the vicious cycle this evening.
I would appreciate any kind of advise or support from you. My family and friends just make me angry, I would like to have support by people who are going through what I am going through.
Thanks for reading.
Long time lurker here.
I am a 27yr old alcoholic, been abusing alcohol for the last 7 years.
I am lucky enough to be in a stable job for the last 4 years. If it wasnt for the alcohol, roughly I would have about £30,000 savings right now, guess how much I have? £500. Why? Because of my addiction to get drunk and visit brothels.
Alcohol is what fuells everything. If I stop drinking for a week, I become very sensible in other words 'normal' once I relapse it is vicious cycle all over again.
If I wasnt such a loser, (yes a loser) I would have enough money to mortgage a house with my best friend and rent it, (he is complete opposite of me).
Or I could have opened a small business with my other friend, or could have mortgagded a small studio and find a girl to marry and settle down.
Last year I got banned for drink driving, my licence is due back in october, and I couldnt even save for a car. I feel like I already failed at life. I smoke 2 packs a day, I think my lungs are more damaged than my liver.
I had many chances of settling down with beautiful women, but I eventually pushed then out of my life thinking I dont deserve them, I always feel like a nocturnal animal, always thinking about drink, but I stop for a few days sometimes, and I see the sparkle on my eyes and I generally feel happy but keep relapsing.
I always wanted to post on here but didnt want to do it while Im drunk, here I am, sat in my office, ready for the vicious cycle this evening.
I would appreciate any kind of advise or support from you. My family and friends just make me angry, I would like to have support by people who are going through what I am going through.
Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 20
Hey Sebaz,
Welcome to the forum! I'm a newcomer to it this month as well. Quitting (or even harboring the idea of it) is a really scary thought, I know. I think part of what terrified me about doing it for a while was the idea of facing life without the buffer alcohol provided me. It's a little more 'real' than I'd like it to be a few weeks without anything and I understand the feeling of 'could be here, should have done this if only's that happens.
I'm 31 and I feel as if I wasted most of my life being too scared to go after what I wanted so instead I sat in a corner and let alcohol treat me a little too kindly. I don't think you're a loser, you're just someone who, like a lot of other people here, for one reason or many, found solace in substances to cope.
It's hard sometimes to talk about it with people close to you but if I've seen anything here so far, it's a lot of folks who will totally listen and offer whatever advice they can.
Welcome to the forum! I'm a newcomer to it this month as well. Quitting (or even harboring the idea of it) is a really scary thought, I know. I think part of what terrified me about doing it for a while was the idea of facing life without the buffer alcohol provided me. It's a little more 'real' than I'd like it to be a few weeks without anything and I understand the feeling of 'could be here, should have done this if only's that happens.
I'm 31 and I feel as if I wasted most of my life being too scared to go after what I wanted so instead I sat in a corner and let alcohol treat me a little too kindly. I don't think you're a loser, you're just someone who, like a lot of other people here, for one reason or many, found solace in substances to cope.
It's hard sometimes to talk about it with people close to you but if I've seen anything here so far, it's a lot of folks who will totally listen and offer whatever advice they can.
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Welcome, Sebaz. You will find lots of support here.
Most alcoholics arrive hopeless and full of regret. The good news is you don't ever have to drink again. You can begin to turn it all around starting right now. Two key things I have had to learn are patience and forgiveness. I had to forgive myself about all the damage I had done and all the missed opportunities that had piled up. I also had to accept that fixing my life would take time; although, I could start today by not drinking.
You deserve a good, satisfying life.
Most alcoholics arrive hopeless and full of regret. The good news is you don't ever have to drink again. You can begin to turn it all around starting right now. Two key things I have had to learn are patience and forgiveness. I had to forgive myself about all the damage I had done and all the missed opportunities that had piled up. I also had to accept that fixing my life would take time; although, I could start today by not drinking.
You deserve a good, satisfying life.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Sebaz, you have a lot of life ahead of you, and if you start now you have time to fulfil any dreams you really want. Think about what you can achieve in 5 years, or 10.
You're feeling a lot of self-reproach now; sit down and write out what you hate about your life. Then what sort of life you want to live.
I found talking to my doctor, and researching alcoholism on the internet really motivated me, but please don't hesitate to seek other types of support if you think it's needed.
If you can get through the early days, when old habits are strong you will be rewarded many times.
You're feeling a lot of self-reproach now; sit down and write out what you hate about your life. Then what sort of life you want to live.
I found talking to my doctor, and researching alcoholism on the internet really motivated me, but please don't hesitate to seek other types of support if you think it's needed.
If you can get through the early days, when old habits are strong you will be rewarded many times.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Welcome Sebaz.
Well the good news is you’re not unique with the losses suffered due to drinking. The bad news is that it’s going to get far worse IF you continue to drink. The word alcoholism is hated but is progressive and just takes and takes.
There is a simple remedy which is we just do NOT drink. A horrible thought but if any desirable life style is desired we must totally stop its intake.
Reading these posts daily and perhaps a bunch of AA meetings will ease the withdrawal and head you down the path of recovery.
If that’s not feasibly perhaps detox and rehab might be in order.
BE WELL
Well the good news is you’re not unique with the losses suffered due to drinking. The bad news is that it’s going to get far worse IF you continue to drink. The word alcoholism is hated but is progressive and just takes and takes.
There is a simple remedy which is we just do NOT drink. A horrible thought but if any desirable life style is desired we must totally stop its intake.
Reading these posts daily and perhaps a bunch of AA meetings will ease the withdrawal and head you down the path of recovery.
If that’s not feasibly perhaps detox and rehab might be in order.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: in the city by the bay
Posts: 605
I have blown a ton of money on online shopping, extra dental bills because when you pass out every night, or just get inebriated every night, you don't brush your teeth, buying things again because I can't find things because I stuffed things in drawers for years...
I don't know what price I put on friendships that I probably ruined for being such a drunk witch.
And I was never a sloppy drunk but I sent rude emails, I made sarcastic comments...I said things I would never have said sober.
I guess I could go on and on but I have to get going now...I will probably think of something else I did intoxicated that took a lot of money to repair.
And I regularly was like, I hate all my clothes and I would toss everything and buy all new clothes.
And I spent a lot of trying to lose weight which is impossible when you are drinking every day. Personal trainers, weight loss programs, magic weight loss pills and etc.
I also spoiled my kids too much with expensive birthday parties, the kind with limos - because god dammit they deserve it! (said with a drunk intonation).
My poor husband, seriously.
And of course the constant expenditure on booze. Daily. Mostly a wine drinker and a constant drinker. Okay gotta hustle.
I don't know what price I put on friendships that I probably ruined for being such a drunk witch.
And I was never a sloppy drunk but I sent rude emails, I made sarcastic comments...I said things I would never have said sober.
I guess I could go on and on but I have to get going now...I will probably think of something else I did intoxicated that took a lot of money to repair.
And I regularly was like, I hate all my clothes and I would toss everything and buy all new clothes.
And I spent a lot of trying to lose weight which is impossible when you are drinking every day. Personal trainers, weight loss programs, magic weight loss pills and etc.
I also spoiled my kids too much with expensive birthday parties, the kind with limos - because god dammit they deserve it! (said with a drunk intonation).
My poor husband, seriously.
And of course the constant expenditure on booze. Daily. Mostly a wine drinker and a constant drinker. Okay gotta hustle.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Hollywood, FL
Posts: 207
My advice would be to understand that life is just too short. You're 27 years old. This is the best time of your life. Don't waste it. I wish I were young again like you and didn't waste it drinking. Don't worry, you will be fine without alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
when I finally started doing an honest first step, and a sponsor gave me a workbook to go through, I was pretty horrified when I took a real and honest look at the finances issue.
Over the years, it is hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars - pissed away on booze, on drugs, on booze-related activities, on recompense for booze-fueled incidents, DUIs, legal fees....
If I add in the costs associated with two divorces - which, conceivably, may not have happened had I been sober in those relationships, who knows - then it's well past the million-dollar mark.
I could potentially have been a millionaire by now.... if not for drinking.
Over the years, it is hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars - pissed away on booze, on drugs, on booze-related activities, on recompense for booze-fueled incidents, DUIs, legal fees....
If I add in the costs associated with two divorces - which, conceivably, may not have happened had I been sober in those relationships, who knows - then it's well past the million-dollar mark.
I could potentially have been a millionaire by now.... if not for drinking.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 444
SoberJuly makes a lot of great points here, and ones worth taking to heart. It's not JUST the cost of the booze (and brothels, in your case...)- It's all the other poor decisions our drunk minds make up, and then all the things we spend to PROVE we are 'just like everyone else'/normal.
We're not. I am learning this more and more, day by day (17 days today).
Welcome about the Alcie Train. Good luck.
We're not. I am learning this more and more, day by day (17 days today).
Welcome about the Alcie Train. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
I was full of regret and failure. Living paycheck to paycheck, no credit no security but the bottle for which I would do anything to get.
Sobriety has changed that for the better.
Welcome to the forum.
Sobriety has changed that for the better.
Welcome to the forum.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 36
Hello Sebaz just wanted to let you know your not alone I don't even have a whole day sober myself. I had a horrible night last night n I don't even remember half the messed up things I said and did and now I sit here oncec again hating myself and embarrassed. If I could give you one piece of advise it would be don't drink tonight, brake the cycle, u can do it, only you can. U don't want to feel tomorrow how I feel today.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 596
Being under the influence of alcohol made me blow all my money on buying alcohol, buying drugs, going to bars/clubs, making unnecessary purchases, and countless dollars I can't ever even account for what they were spent on. Finances are one of many things booze takes from us. I was making a very high salary and almost living paycheck to paycheck. It was insane.
The cycle you describe is familiar - you binge, you swear off it, start feeling better, then wash, rinse, repeat. It's remarkable how hard that cycle is to break (at first). Part of my early sobriety was learning to just enjoy sobriety and feeling good. For so many years of my life, the second the ill effects of the alcohol wore off, my brain would convince myself that I should celebrate feeling better with a drink, and then it was back down the rabbit hole. Those good feelings after a few days sober, accept them. Let go of that fear of not being able to drink anymore. The only thing that even causes that fear is the addiction itself, it's not real. You can have a happy life without alcohol.
Welcome aboard.
The cycle you describe is familiar - you binge, you swear off it, start feeling better, then wash, rinse, repeat. It's remarkable how hard that cycle is to break (at first). Part of my early sobriety was learning to just enjoy sobriety and feeling good. For so many years of my life, the second the ill effects of the alcohol wore off, my brain would convince myself that I should celebrate feeling better with a drink, and then it was back down the rabbit hole. Those good feelings after a few days sober, accept them. Let go of that fear of not being able to drink anymore. The only thing that even causes that fear is the addiction itself, it's not real. You can have a happy life without alcohol.
Welcome aboard.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
