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I found learning how to deal with triggers helpful at first (HALT - Hunger, Anger, Lonely, Tired). Also, recognizing AV - Addictive Voice. Also, ways of dealings with cravings, like surfing the urges. |
Originally Posted by MelindaFlowers
(Post 4862347)
I was also what you would call a "highly-functioning alcoholic." I worked ten times harder to maintain a somewhat normal life so I could show myself (and everyone else) that drinking was not interfering with my life. I knew that if I started missing work then I would have to stop drinking. Highly functioning though? Yeah right. Normal people don't have a splitting headache 360 days a year. They don't spend hundreds of dollars a month of something totally wasteful. They don't really on a substance to feel normal. I think highly functional people do things like join softball leagues, try to get 8 hours of sleep a night and eat decently healthy food. Highly functional people don't need a bottle of vodka to watch a movie. They can go out and drive places after 8 pm, have fun, and the drive home safely at 11 pm. I thought I was highly functional but I wasn't. Yup- That was pretty much me. It's useful to read things that sound like me from other 'HF-types' that, like me, in the end WERE NOT very HF/normal. |
I hope Vic made it through the night... Good luck, man! And YES- SEE A DR- if you're starting your day with 5-10 shots just to get going, you're almost certainly going to go into withdrawals/feel like **** (at the very least). You need to at least be monitored, and likely given some meds (Valium or something) to get you through the next couple days. |
Originally Posted by jdooner
(Post 4863197)
Congrats man...how about coming here in the evenings and posting. Commit to one post per night. Just see how that goes? Maybe surfing the urges might gt you through them without acting on them? Lots of support...most of us have walked in your shoes. I was you one year ago today - exactly! |
5-10 shots in the morning ... how long have you been doing that for ? If you haven't already, your going to get some physical symptoms pretty soon if you keep that up. I know, I got them. If you were to get a liver test, you'd have a very high count of the proteins that are a pre-cursor to cyrosis. I'd iron clad guarantee that. Alcoholic Diahorrea - two years of that for me ... That is beyond embarrasing ... if you keep drinking, you might wanna get a desk close to a toilet at work. And once that starts ... you can never trust a FART from then on. You also might start to puke quite regularly .... I was never a puker for about 24 years of drinking, in my 25th year, it happened frequently. Keep drinking & you may end up with gastroenteritis brought on by alcoholic levels of consumption Oh that's a gem Bloating Nausea Vomiting Abdominal cramps Abdominal pain Diarrhoea Bloody stools (poo) – in some cases Pus in the stools – in some cases Generally feeling unwell, including lethargy and body aches. I sure miss drinking LOL :lmao |
Welcome Vic! I was also high-functioning and your posts completely resonate with me. I started out like you - half a bottle of wine a night was enough, then a whole bottle, then a bottle and a half... in the end I was drinking two bottles a night and going to work the next morning (probably still drunk but not realizing it) where everyone relied on me for everything and I never let anyone down. When I told one of my coworkers about my problem months after I quit, she was shocked and said "how could you possibly do that and be so incredibly productive and successful every day?" We really do get used to feeling bad all the time, but to an outsider, it's total insanity. I have over nine months sober now, and to an unknowing coworker, probably nothing has changed. But I realized how much energy I was putting into keeping up the facade that everything was fine and trying to prove to myself that I could drink as much as I wanted and never have any consequences. Now I am able to organize my day, feel truly productive instead of just getting by, and go home with enough energy to still carry on healthy personal activities. I never realized what I was missing while I was keeping up appearances until I stopped doing it. My danger hours were 5-9pm, and I knew I needed to do something - anything - during that time to keep me away from the booze. At first I was scared and miserable, thinking this is how the rest of my life would be, just fighting away the alcohol demons. About 2-3 months into it, though, I started to notice it was becoming more natural and I didn't have to feel like I was always running from something. So my point is, there will be rough times, but if you are totally committed and stick with it no matter what, you will get to the other side and start to rebuild a much better life than what you have now. |
Welcome Vic! Like many have said, I was like you in that for a long time I was also very high functioning. Great job, only drank high quality stuff and could afford it, never missed work. My high functioning alcoholism went on like this for a while... until I was no longer a functioning alcoholic, just a 24/7 drunk who had lost her friends, boyfriend, job, her car, even the roof over her head. Alcoholism doesn't care how much you make or what kind of car you drive. I didn't think I was that bad, even when I started having a "breakfast cocktail" some morning just because, hey, why not? I work hard, I can do this once in a blue moon. Those flippant choices turned into necessity over time to stave off withdrawals. I wasn't able to give 100% in anything I did but drink; that became my full time job. Never in a million years did I see that transformation coming and neither did anyone else because I hid it so well for so long. Things only started getting brighter for me when I admitted to myself that I had a problem and needed to stop completely. That was a year ago and while I've had relapses since, I'm now back in school and working towards a better future for myself. Best if luck to you, and keep posting! You've got friends here :) |
This post says it all. However we are leading our lives, functional or not, the health consequences are the same. Thank you Whalebelow for posting this.
Originally Posted by whalebelow
(Post 4864098)
5-10 shots in the morning ... how long have you been doing that for ? If you haven't already, your going to get some physical symptoms pretty soon if you keep that up. I know, I got them. If you were to get a liver test, you'd have a very high count of the proteins that are a pre-cursor to cyrosis. I'd iron clad guarantee that. Alcoholic Diahorrea - two years of that for me ... That is beyond embarrasing ... if you keep drinking, you might wanna get a desk close to a toilet at work. And once that starts ... you can never trust a FART from then on. You also might start to puke quite regularly .... I was never a puker for about 24 years of drinking, in my 25th year, it happened frequently. Keep drinking & you may end up with gastroenteritis brought on by alcoholic levels of consumption Oh that's a gem Bloating Nausea Vomiting Abdominal cramps Abdominal pain Diarrhoea Bloody stools (poo) – in some cases Pus in the stools – in some cases Generally feeling unwell, including lethargy and body aches. I sure miss drinking LOL :lmao |
Made it through another evening. I really wanted a drink after work. Towards the end of the work day I realized that I was getting somewhat excited and then disappointed because that's when I would usually go home and "relax". But I had no alcohol at home and made myself go past the liquor store without going in. It has been 48 hours now. I almost cannot believe it. Last week I would not be able to imagine not drinking for this long. |
Great job Vic! Getting home without stopping is half the battle. I spent my first few weeks glued to this site every evening. It not only helped to pass the time (which felt never ending at first) but I needed an hourly reminder of why I was stopping. Great work and keep us updated! |
Originally Posted by colagirl
(Post 4864398)
Welcome Vic! I was also high-functioning and your posts completely resonate with me. I started out like you - half a bottle of wine a night was enough, then a whole bottle, then a bottle and a half... in the end I was drinking two bottles a night and going to work the next morning (probably still drunk but not realizing it) where everyone relied on me for everything and I never let anyone down. When I told one of my coworkers about my problem months after I quit, she was shocked and said "how could you possibly do that and be so incredibly productive and successful every day?" We really do get used to feeling bad all the time, but to an outsider, it's total insanity. I have over nine months sober now, and to an unknowing coworker, probably nothing has changed. But I realized how much energy I was putting into keeping up the facade that everything was fine and trying to prove to myself that I could drink as much as I wanted and never have any consequences. Now I am able to organize my day, feel truly productive instead of just getting by, and go home with enough energy to still carry on healthy personal activities. I never realized what I was missing while I was keeping up appearances until I stopped doing it. My danger hours were 5-9pm, and I knew I needed to do something - anything - during that time to keep me away from the booze. At first I was scared and miserable, thinking this is how the rest of my life would be, just fighting away the alcohol demons. About 2-3 months into it, though, I started to notice it was becoming more natural and I didn't have to feel like I was always running from something. So my point is, there will be rough times, but if you are totally committed and stick with it no matter what, you will get to the other side and start to rebuild a much better life than what you have now. I was an after work drinker too. I would wait to start at 7 when everything was done and my daughter was off doing her own thing. Then it would be drink a pint of whiskey with some OTC sleeping pills so I would pass out just as the booze was running out. Get up go to work and start all over again. It was always the same day over and over. When I first quit I just had to make it past one of the many liquor stores on my rotation and get home. Once home the cravings would kick in from 7 to 10 (Liquor stores close at 10pm in Minnesota and magically the cravings would stop). I would come on here a lot to help ride it out. I really had no concept of just how destructive this was. It seemed like it damaged the very part of my brain that I needed to figure that out. It wasn't until I started getting better and I looked back and thought Whoa that's a long way down ! |
Originally Posted by colagirl
(Post 4864398)
Welcome Vic! I was also high-functioning and your posts completely resonate with me. I started out like you - half a bottle of wine a night was enough, then a whole bottle, then a bottle and a half... in the end I was drinking two bottles a night and going to work the next morning (probably still drunk but not realizing it) where everyone relied on me for everything and I never let anyone down. When I told one of my coworkers about my problem months after I quit, she was shocked and said "how could you possibly do that and be so incredibly productive and successful every day?" We really do get used to feeling bad all the time, but to an outsider, it's total insanity. I have over nine months sober now, and to an unknowing coworker, probably nothing has changed. But I realized how much energy I was putting into keeping up the facade that everything was fine and trying to prove to myself that I could drink as much as I wanted and never have any consequences. Now I am able to organize my day, feel truly productive instead of just getting by, and go home with enough energy to still carry on healthy personal activities. I never realized what I was missing while I was keeping up appearances until I stopped doing it. My danger hours were 5-9pm, and I knew I needed to do something - anything - during that time to keep me away from the booze. At first I was scared and miserable, thinking this is how the rest of my life would be, just fighting away the alcohol demons. About 2-3 months into it, though, I started to notice it was becoming more natural and I didn't have to feel like I was always running from something. So my point is, there will be rough times, but if you are totally committed and stick with it no matter what, you will get to the other side and start to rebuild a much better life than what you have now. Vic, 48 hours is great. The early days are definitely the toughest. Your body and mind are fighting to get back to their comfort zone that they are used to. That comfort zone is where your AV lies to you. Keep up the great sober work. I promise it DOES get easier. You're doing great! |
Keep up the work Vic. Looking forward to your post tonight. |
Originally Posted by vicNeedsHelp
(Post 4864648)
Made it through another evening. I really wanted a drink after work. Towards the end of the work day I realized that I was getting somewhat excited and then disappointed because that's when I would usually go home and "relax". But I had no alcohol at home and made myself go past the liquor store without going in. It has been 48 hours now. I almost cannot believe it. Last week I would not be able to imagine not drinking for this long. |
How did you do last night? |
We're here for you! Weekends can be tough. Keep posting! |
Rebump !!! |
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